A few days ago, my niece who had just graduated from work sent a circle of friends in the middle of the night.
"Adult life is so tired, workplace relationships are really difficult problems that I can't learn."
Although it feels like she most likely forgot to shield relatives, she just wants to sigh the small emotions of work late at night.
But seeing that young people encounter growth problems, they still can't help but ask two more questions to help her solve the problems.
After chatting, I learned that she is now planning in an advertising agency, and she usually works a lot and is complicated.
As a newcomer who has just joined the company, the work assigned by the usual leaders is all accepted, and he does not dare to refuse.
And when faced with complicated work can not be arranged, she is embarrassed to report upwards, resulting in some tasks that cannot be completed in her hands, and the project extension will be criticized by the leader.
After listening to her experience, I felt a lot, because when I first entered the workplace, I was also so busy.
Later, I found out that in fact, many problems in the workplace are problems of communication between people.
Make good use of your communication skills and do the following 4 guidelines, whether it is the elderly who are struggling in the workplace, or the newcomers who have just entered the workplace, you can avoid many unnecessary difficulties.
I remember when I was young, I joined a new company, and the two words I liked to hang on my mouth were "good".
Leaders point to where to fight, do not have their own ideas and opinions, think that for newcomers, obedience is the greatest virtue.
I thought that this kind of work attitude could be exchanged for the appreciation of the leader and slowly pave the way for my career promotion.
Later I found out that this was not the case.
1, casually committing to others is also an irresponsibility.
It is said that the workplace is like a battlefield, many times colleagues are interlocking cooperative relationships, if you do not do a good job in this link, it is difficult for others to continue the work at hand.
At that time, because of his "competitive spirit and desire to perform when he first entered the workplace", he promised a lot of tasks, and he worked overtime every day until he stayed up late, but he still couldn't finish it because of lack of ability.
Every day when I leave work, I feel that my head is messy and my heart is very tired.
On the one hand, I feel very frustrated, I have made a lot of efforts but I still can't figure it out, on the other hand, I am worried that if I don't do well, I may be looked down upon by my colleagues.
The result is that I know that I am very tired, but I still drag the progress of my colleagues' work.
The leader who took me at that time was very good, and she said a sentence that I am still impressed by:
"In fact, in the workplace, it can show weakness.
You can ask others for questions that you won't have, or you can synchronize with the leader that you can't do this, but the key is that everything must be explained in advance, otherwise you are busy for a long time but there is no output, everyone's work can't work, and the trouble will be big. ”
Later, I understood that when I set out to do something and found it as insurmountable as a boulder, I didn't have to spend a lot of time doubting myself and engaging in emotional attrition.
Timely help to leaders and colleagues, let go of their competitive spirit, learn lessons in working together with everyone, and feed back into the future work, this is the mentality that mature workplace people should have.
2, your smooth promise, may become a matter of course.
If you meet a group of good colleagues in the workplace, they may also tell you about your growth experience and pull you along when you are confused and confused. But if you work in a environment like a small river, the habit of casually saying yes may hurt you a lot.
First of all, as a leader, I like to give some details to the newcomers.
Many newcomers may feel that if they help the leader deal with some trivial work today, the leader will entrust me with a heavy responsibility tomorrow.
But no, it's possible that your leader never wanted to make you do a big job.
Newcomers who enter the workplace must distinguish between those jobs that are beneficial to their own growth, which are beyond reproach, agree to the former, and avoid the latter, which is the correct growth idea.
If you keep doing trivial things and keeping yourself busy, but rarely doing tasks that really have the ability to add bonuses, then being busy in the end will have little effect.
In short, don't reply "okay" casually without knowing it, recognize where your abilities lie, and discern which are the jobs that can really empower you, which are crucial for newcomers.
I have heard many people talk about workplace issues, and the suggestions given by everyone stay at the shallow workplace level such as not talking about salary and not saying bad things about colleagues behind their backs.
But in fact, what needs the most change in the workplace is our work thinking.
How you think determines how you behave in the world, and how you behave in the world determines how you go to the workplace.
The strange circle that many of them have a hard time getting out of is: refusing to suffer losses.
Adults in the workplace are always used to being harsh on themselves and tolerant of others.
Just like my colleagues in the previous work, her boss always entrusted her with a lot of work that was not her share, and she would not refuse, so she buried her head in the rush every day.
When colleagues saw that she was so "good at talking", they also asked her to take the shift to work on the grounds of "today I want to leave work early to pick up the children", "Today my relatives are sick", etc. She also expressed understanding, and then took on more work.
When she talked about her experience at the party, we all fought for her, but she always defended others:
Maybe the leader is busy every day, and he has more important work to do.
Maybe colleagues really have something to do at home, help to do it, and they may help me in the future.
If you eat more now, maybe everyone will take more care of me in the future.
Hearing her response, I asked her three questions:
Have you been tired lately? How much of a job have you done that is not your share?
When you are the last to leave the company every day, have your leaders and colleagues ever told you a hard word?
She bowed her head in silence, and the long-term grievances came to her heart in an instant.
I remember that in "The First Half of My Life", He Han said a passage to Luo Zijun, who had just entered the workplace, which was very insightful:
"You work to make money, not to make friends. It would be a surprise if you could make friends, but it would be normal not to make friends. ”
We always think that if we eat a little more, we will have others who think about our own kindness, thinking that if we do a little more, we can have more good feelings in the hearts of others.
As everyone knows, many times a loss is not a blessing, a loss is just a loss.
In the workplace of adults, everyone is responsible for refusing to suffer losses, refusing to carry the pot, and refusing to work that is not within their own responsibility.
With the development of the times, people's division of labor and cooperation in work has become more and more meticulous, so there are many more docking and communication processes in the workplace.
In the process of communicating with people, many people like to express their views on their own, thus ignoring the atmosphere of communication and making it difficult for the other party to accept views and suggestions.
I have brought an intern before, and the children are very good at learning and working hard, but because they have not been exposed to the same type of work before, the solutions they come up with are always insufficient.
Once, because of the urgency of the project, I was very anxious at the meeting, so I directly listed 10 problems in the plan and sent them to the interns as if they were "ten deadly sins".
I explained to her every question, and she nodded her head in agreement while frowning, and the psychological pressure was very large.
Later, after the meeting was adjourned, she went to the pantry alone for a long time, because she did not dare to show the emotion of collapse in front of her colleagues when she first joined the company, and carefully sent a sad kitten emoji in the circle of friends.
As her immediate leader, I was guilty because I knew that interns were not easy either.
During that time, she did not have to work overtime with us until late at night every day, but because she wanted to grow up faster and help everyone, every day we worked overtime to what time, she worked until what time. That plan was also painstakingly thought out by her day and night, and it took a lot of painstaking efforts to do so.
I think about what the problem is and find that this phenomenon is very common in the workplace:
It takes a long time for a person to be affirmed, to be recognized by everyone layer by layer and deliberately, but it only takes a second to be denied.
This accumulated frustration can make people lose the motivation to work hard, and gradually blunt their imagination and creativity.
It is not that there is an obligation in the workplace to consider everyone's emotions and to be responsible for everyone's psychological state.
But a constant law is that a team with a human touch, a team that embraces everyone's successes and failures, always goes longer than a team that "tools" people.
In the days that followed, every time our team brought a new person, we would first find out the "value points" in his plan, affirm the excellent places, and then point out the shortcomings and modify the direction.
If we have enough time, we will also offer a viable alternative to tell the other party "what is right".
Facts have proved that under the positive effect of positive feedback, people will be more motivated to improve and modify their own plans, and they will have more desire to grow.
Later, every new person in the team is getting better and better at what they do well, and quickly make up for their shortcomings to keep up with everyone's pace.
Please believe in the power of appreciation, it will become a person's fuel for progress, giving him a steady stream of confidence and confidence on the way forward.
Everyone has their own period of confusion about the growth of the workplace, and you will understand after experiencing it.
Don't casually reply "good", understand is to understand, do not understand the timely help, everything has an echo, in order to do reliably;
Do not casually take over their own extra work, everyone is an independent and mature individual, know how to refuse, in order to live comfortably;
Don't arbitrarily deny a person's hard work, speak measuredly, do things with moderation, and know how to tolerate, in order to make the team win-win.
Understanding these 3 points and working hard to make changes in thinking will bring you great workplace benefits.
In many things in the workplace life, success is not a person's success, and failure is not a person's failure.
Each of us needs to form our own "workplace golden code" in continuous running-in and interaction.
If this article is helpful to you, don't forget to like it and read it.
If you have your own workplace experience you want to share, welcome to interact with us in the comment area, I believe your suggestions will also give many small partners warmth and strength!
The author | Tian Zi Grid, on time to bear fruit, leaves do not dry out.
The anchor | Ying Yu, public number: pillow classic
Pictures | Visual China