"Little Min Family" mainly tells the love-hate entanglement between divorced families. With the rise of the divorce rate, many young people will say to themselves, if you are not happy, you can get a divorce, anyway, you have money and beauty, and you can still live a dashing life after divorce. But most people regret it after divorce, because divorce is not as simple as receiving a piece of paper, it involves too many things. After reading the original work of "Xiao Min's Family", I understand more that the second-married family is more calculating to live together.
Chen Zhuo's ex-wife Li Ping is arrogant and arrogant, has a strong personality, and wants to break out of the sky, because of the personality incompatibility, coupled with the different pursuit of life, so the two have changed from husband and wife to friends. Liu Xiaomin's ex-husband Jin Bo has a well-off family, has been pampered since childhood, and has no pursuit of life. Liu Xiaomin was not accustomed to doing nothing every day, living by nibbling on the old, and after divorcing him, he went to Beijing alone.
Nowadays, Chen Zhuo and Liu Xiaomin belong to the middle class, and the door is right. Chen Zhuo has a daughter Chen Jiajia, Liu Xiaomin has a son Jin Jiajun, the children are similar in age, Chen Zhuo and Liu Xiaomin have experienced the pain of marriage, and the troubles of parenthood, so they feel sorry for each other and change from ordinary friends to lovers. However, Neither Chen Zhuo nor Liu Xiaomin had any plans to remarry.
When Jin Jiajun came to Beijing, Liu Xiaomin packed out all of Chen Zhuo's things, not wanting jiajun to see that she was with others. She and Chen Zhuo are only in love, and as for which step to take, she has no bottom in her heart.
Chen Zhuo was the same, and after Chen Jiajia found out that Li Ping was pregnant, she lost her temper. In the original work, it was written: Chen Jiajia was in pain, and she never expected that this terrible news would fall from the sky and fall on her eighteenth birthday. Li Ping's remarriage and pregnancy means that Chen Jiajia will no longer be Li Ping's only child. She will have a brother or sister to compete with her, and she will become the extra child of her mother Li Ping's family.
Chen Jiajia was worried that if Chen Zhuo remarried and had his own children, he would become a superfluous child and have nowhere to go. So she cried and said to Chen Zhuo: Dad, promise me not to get married again, don't have children, okay?
Chen Zhuo nodded, he knew his daughter's concerns, so he did not confess to his daughter about his love affair with Liu Xiaomin. Chen Zhuo thought in his heart: Li Ping remarried and had children, and before Jia Jia became a family, he was her only spiritual reliance. Chen Zhuo did not dare to guarantee that he would not marry or have children, but at this moment he praised himself, at least he had foresight and handled his relationship with Liu Xiaomin very well. Just be a boyfriend and girlfriend, there is no burden on each other, it will not cause more contradictions, and it will also give Jiajia a relatively stable and peaceful home.
Chen Zhuo and Liu Xiaomin talked for a long time, but the families of both sides did not know their relationship, Liu Xiaomin's mother thought that Liu Xiaomin was single, and often urged her to fall in love and marry herself early. Liu Xiaomin did not say, there were her own ideas.
She had managed to jump out of the fire pit of her marriage, and now she was letting her jump in again. She wasn't mentally prepared. She and Chen Zhuo both have children, there are old people to take care of, if they form a remarried family, will the children recognize them? The elderly in the family are sick, who is responsible for taking care of them? Usually, who is the big head and who is the small head? She had a stable job and financial independence, but she didn't want to return to her family and walk around the children and the stove.
So when Chen Zhuo gave Liu Xiaomin a gift, Liu Xiaomin thought that the box contained a ring and was shocked. She has no plans to get married for the time being, and is with Chen Zhuo, just for comfort. They are each other's spiritual tree holes, can pour out the troubles of life and work, and can solve physical problems, killing two birds with one stone.
So when Liu Xiaomin's mother decided to see Chen Zhuo, Chen Zhuo asked Liu Xiaomin: If your mother supports us together, will you marry me?
Liu Xiaomin knew that Chen Zhuo was tempting him, so he deliberately threw the question to him: If my mother supports us together, will you marry me?
Chen Zhuo hesitated, he and Liu Xiaomin both knew that they preferred the current way of getting along, simple, without any property disputes, love together, do not love to separate, do not have to be like divorce, for property and custody to quarrel. Although Chen Zhuo and Liu Xiaomin enjoy the current state, they do not know where they are in each other's hearts. Is it just a tool to pass the loneliness, or has it become the person in the other person's heart, even if you don't get married, you will accompany you for a lifetime? That's why I'll find a way to test the other person and see how important I am.
Chen Zhuo and Liu Xiaomin do not want to puncture the hidden feelings of not wanting to get married, and their state is very much in line with the current state of divorced people to fall in love again. The question they are considering is no longer whether the other person loves me or not? How much love? But will he cheat me out of my money? Will he be nice to my child? Will he ask me again after we get married to have a child that belongs to us?
Both parties do not want to give more than they gain in this relationship, and they are testing each other's ideas, so they seem to be in love, but in fact, they have their own small calculations in their hearts. When I think about it, I think such feelings are very sad. So there is an old saying that husband and wife are still the original match.
Remarried couples form a new family, there are too many places to run into, not only cost money, but also exhausting. Both sides are protecting themselves, and such feelings are difficult to withstand the test of life. Liu Xiaomin and Chen Zhuo are the same, and what is more painful than them is their children.
When Liu Xiaomin and Jin Bo divorced, they fought with Jin Bo for a long time because of the custody of their children, but she did not have a stable income at that time, and could only watch As Jin Jiajun's custody was awarded to Jin Bo.
Jin Bo's grandfather was a man of integrity and was good to Liu Xiaomin, but unfortunately he died not long after Liu Xiaomin's divorce, and Jin Jiajun grew up with his grandmother and Jin Bo. Jia Jun's grandmother is not a good stubble, and Jin Bo is dissatisfied because Liu Xiaomin abandoned him to take root in the big city, and often says that Liu Xiaomin is not good in front of Jia Jun.
Liu Xiaomin is too busy at work, rarely spends time with her children every year, and the number of videos she opens every month is rare. The relationship between Jin Jiajun and Liu Xiaomin gradually became cold, and he did not want to communicate with Liu Xiaomin, and he would rather say anything to his grandmother than to Xiaomin.
This time Jin Jiajun came to Beijing to study, and it was his grandmother and Jin Bo who let him go. Liu Xiaomin has a good job in Beijing, the income is considerable, since she can make so much money, and there is only one son of Jin Jiajun, so they sent Jin Jiajun to Beijing and let Jiajun spend more of Liu Xiaomin's money. If Liu Xiaomin remarries, his mind is on a small family, and he can't spend it if he wants to. Therefore, as soon as Jin Jiajun arrived in Beijing, he chose a very expensive cram class. In addition to listening to his grandmother's words, he also wanted to see if Liu Xiaomin was more distressed about money or more distressed about him?
Liu Xiaomin's mother knows that Jiajun and Liu Xiaomin are estranged, in order to close their mother-son relationship, Liu Xiaomin's mother said to Jiajun: In fact, over the years, your mother and your aunt have always wanted to pick you up, and it is impossible to let you stay in a small city all the time. Mainly because at that time, you were young, your grandmother and your father were reluctant to do so, and your mother had just come out to work hard, and the conditions were poor. When she first came to Beijing to work hard, she lived in the basement, and she didn't see her every day, so she endured and fought hard. Now that it's a bit of a condition, I want to get you out and run for a future for you. She struggles to fight, not for you, your mother is not easy.
Jin Jiajun was annoyed, although he was not very old, he was not stupid. This sentence "for you", he listened too much on both sides and was very bored. People are for themselves first, and then for others. Was Liu Xiaomin divorced for him? It's ridiculous, she just wants to make a good living for herself. Jin Bo raised him, but also wanted to use him to keep Liu Xiaomin, rather than considering who Jiajun would be happier with.
So Jia Jun said to grandma: It's not easy, grandma is not easy, aunt is not easy, I am not easy.
Jia Jun's words are not wrong, after his parents divorced, the families on both sides were persuading him to understand his parents more, they were not easy, this sentence seemed to be because of him that they did not live easily. Isn't it easy for them to live, is it easy for him?
Jin Bo and Liu Xiaomin are already adults, and they can choose their own lives, love the people they want to love, do the work they like, and live their favorite days. What about him? He has to endure the mutual complaints of his parents after the divorce, they are all wooing him, if he and Liu Xiaomin are close, Grandma will say that Jiajun has no conscience, it is not easy for Grandma to pull him to grow up, why did the child grow up, Liu Xiaomin did not pay anything, and enjoyed the benefits of the fisherman?
He was close to his grandmother, and Liu Xiaomin would complain in his heart, thinking that Jin Jiajun did not understand her, and she was not easy in these years. No one cares what he wants most, to be happy or unhappy? They only care about whether Jin Jiajun's attitude towards themselves is in line with their expectations. Jin Jiajun felt like a piece of duckweed, as long as there was a wind and grass, it would blow him backwards and backwards.
He seems to have a cold personality, but in fact, he longs for his mother's love in his heart, so he always pays attention to her attitude, and wants to spy out clues from her expression to see if he still loves himself? He is sensible and well-behaved, that is, he is afraid that his parents will not like him, and once he forms a new home, he will be regarded as a burden.
But after all, he is a child, and he will be sad after a long time of grievance. He came to Beijing to find Xiao Min, just to see how Xiao Min usually lived? Seeing that she eats and wears well and has a beautiful life, my heart is uncomfortable. It wasn't that he didn't want Xiao Min to be good, he just felt that Xiao Min gave birth to him and said he loved him, but he left him in his hometown and enjoyed his happiness alone in Beijing. He was worried that Liu Xiaomin did not have him in his heart.
Xiaomin is busy at work, accompanied by Chen Zhuo in her spare time, she has many ways to enrich her life, but what does Jin Jiajun have? He has no friends to talk about, no parents who really care about him, they all put him in line in the name of love, let him choose who he loves the most among his father and mother?
Liu Xiaomin's attitude towards Jiajun is not as good as Liu Xiaojie's, at least Liu Xiaojie has no heart and eyes, and what words are put on the surface, he can clearly perceive that his aunt Liu Xiaojie likes him and loves him. Therefore, Jia Jun also listened to Xiao Jie's words the most.
In the eyes of children, parents are the first friends. Everything about parents can easily affect children, whether the child's positive energy cultivation is due to congenitality or acquired, it has a very important relationship with parents. It is the unshirkable responsibility of every parent to transmit positive energy to children and let children grow up healthily.
The child's world is very simple, he does not want to be caught between his parents, he does not want to distinguish between right and wrong, he just wants to get love, feel love. But after the parents divorced, they became the most pitiful people are children, parents can choose marriage again, but they can't choose their parents, and the evil fate planted by parents in marriage will eventually be borne by the children. Therefore, the family is sensitive, inferior, psychologically fragile, he has to promise to please many people, it is not easy for his parents to live after divorce, he is sandwiched in the middle, how easy is it? Why does everyone let him understand his parents, but not let his parents understand him and care for him?
Liu Xiaomin and Chen Zhuo thought that hiding the love thing and marrying with the child behind their backs was to love the child, but they did not know that doing so hurt the child's heart the most. What the child needs is trust, and the more you cheat on him, the more he feels unimportant. If you really love him, you should understand that he will understand your decision.
Liu Xiaomin seems to have paid a lot for Jin Jiajun, but in fact, it is all superficial kung fu. What she should do is to find a way to go into the child's heart and let the child accept her. Instead of finding out that her son is not close to her, she refuses to communicate with her son.
Chen Jiajia, like Jin Jiajun, is a family whose parents are divorced. However, his father Chen Zhuo was much more enlightened than Jin Bo, and after Li Ping divorced him, he struggled with her husband Hong Wei for many years, saved a lot of family property, and lived a rich life. Chen Zhuo did not say in front of Chen Jiajia that Li Ping was poor and loved the rich, but always reconciled Li Ping and her relationship in the middle.
Li Ping thought of Chen Jiajia and could come to see her at any time. Although Chen Jiajia's custody belongs to Chen Zhuo, Li Ping rarely let Chen Zhuo make up her mind, and Almost all of Chen Jiajia's affairs are her own doing. Li Ping didn't know how to make up for the debt to Chen Jiajia, so she always tried to satisfy her in the money injury. She felt that she was extremely kind to her daughter, so she and Hong Wei did not tell Chen Jiajia about the child.
Li Ping has remarried with Hong Wei, Hong Wei has no children under his knees, and dreams of having a child, Li Ping, as a wife, will naturally try her best to meet her husband's wishes. It was her duty to be a wife, and she didn't feel like she was wrong. She is divorced, has the right to pursue happiness, the child is the bond of the husband and wife relationship, with the child, her relationship with Hong Wei is stronger, Chen Jiajia also has a brother or sister who loves her, is this not good?
Li Ping felt that there was no need to discuss with Chen Jiajia about her pregnancy, but ignored Chen Jiajia's idea. The child does not want her parents to divorce the most, and if she really goes to the step of divorce, who does not take her custody means who abandons her. Li Ping did not take custody of Chen Jiajia, so Chen Jiajia always felt that Li Ping did not love her enough.
After Li Ping remarried, Chen Jiajia knew that it was a family formed by Li Pingxin, although she was Li Pingxin's child, she had no blood relationship with Hong Wei, and in her view, she was an outsider in Li Pingxin's family. Before Li Ping gave birth, Chen Jiajia felt that she was Li Ping's only daughter, and Li Ping would definitely love her.
But Li Ping is pregnant, it is different. Someone competed with her for favors, that person was the crystallization of Hong Wei and Li Ping's love, Li Ping was bound to put more energy on the child and steal Chen Jiajia's love. She didn't want such a thing to happen, so after Li Ping got pregnant, she would be furious, and before the birthday party was over, she cried and went home. Chen Jiajia was worried that Chen Zhuo would take Li Ping's old path, so she hooked up with Chen Zhuo and did not let Chen Zhuo fall in love, let alone get married.
What does Chen Jiajia mean to her parents about remarriage? Li Ping and Hong Wei were married, and Hong Wei never treated her as his own daughter. He was good to her, but he looked at Li Ping's face. If Li Ping and Chen Zhuo had their own families, she would really become an abandoned child.
Liu Xiaomin has her own son, will she treat Chen Jiajia as her own daughter and spoil her like Li Ping? She will not, because she is an independent individual, she and Chen Zhuo are married, just like Chen Zhuo, and have nothing to do with Chen Jiajia. She did not marry Chen Zhuo because she was a stepmother, nor would she endure Chen Jiajia's bad temper for no reason.
In families where parents are divorced, children will become more sensitive than adults, because the consequence of the failure of the parents' marriage is that the children will go forward for them.
Junichi Watanabe said: The so-called marriage is not just a union of a man and a woman who love each other, they must play the role of father, mother or friend to each other, and if necessary, each show the innocent and childish side of the child, and so on. Without this, I am afraid it is difficult to call it a real marriage.
Marriage needs to be run-in, and many young people's attitudes towards marriage are too hasty, and when it is suitable, they are together, and when they are not suitable, they are separated. Marriage and divorce are not so cautious, think it is good to get married, not to leave again. We all know that the negative impact of divorce on life is not as simple as we think. It can have a huge impact on your career, family, mood, health, and children.
Friction in marriage is normal, as long as it does not involve your bottom line, find a way to solve problems when encountered, and use divorce to escape problems, which is the biggest stupidity. Divorce is to pursue happiness, not to escape the problem, if you really go to the step of divorce, you must be cautious.
Even if you are divorced, you must fulfill your duty as a parent. Don't let marriage become the graveyard of love, let the child become the funeral of marriage. Adults have too many options, and as long as you are good enough, someone will still love you. And in a child's life, there are only parents. They have no choice, so marriage is not easy, and do it and cherish it!