On November 19, 1931, Xu Zhimo boarded a plane to Beiping alone. The sun was shining outside, and the weather was still good, but there was a haze in his heart that was difficult to dispel.
On the way, due to the sudden rise of heavy fog, the plane accidentally crashed. That night, heavy rain poured down, and it seemed to mourn the early death of the genius poet.
With the news of the plane crash, the entire literary and art circles were shocked, and even Lu Xun, who was pinching each other in the literary world at that time, picked up the newspaper and put it in front of his eyes to carefully examine it again and again, and lamented.
He was born in a town named Jiaoshi in Haining County, Zhejiang Province, whose real name was Xu Zhang'an. Later, when he was studying abroad, his father Xu Shenru renamed him Shima.
As the eldest son of the old Xu family, he is a proper "rich second generation", playing a small life is extremely prosperous, the Xu family regards it as a treasure, put it in the palm of his hand for fear of falling, and containing it in his mouth is afraid of melting.
Jin Yong is his cousin, Qiong Yao is his cousin niece, and even Qian Xuesen is not close to him, and his family lineage is very prominent.
And he is also intelligent and highly perceptive since childhood. At the age of fourteen, he was like a little bird out of the cage, taking a free step and humming a small song to study in Hangzhou alone.
That year was 1910, and he was successfully admitted to the Hangzhou Fu Middle School, and became the same window as Yu Dafu and others who later became famous.
Because of his love of literature, as a young man, he wrote his first work to express his views, and this paper was "On the Relationship between Novels and Society".
In his view, the novel is as important to society as food is to people, and it is "advisable to vigorously promote it."
Yu Dafu once wrote in his memoirs that at that time, the most cattle classmate in our class had to count Xu Zhimo. The guy who wears gold-rimmed glasses all day long, doesn't listen to classes and actually scores perfectly.
In 1915, after graduation, Xu Zhimo was admitted to the current University of Shanghai for Science and Technology. In Shanghai, the full-bellied Fei Gongzi quickly attracted the attention of many people, including Zhang Runzhi, a huge rich man in Luodian, Baoshan County, Shanghai.
Adhering to the concept of starting first, Zhang Runzhi immediately found Xu Shenru to explain his intentions, and the two finalized the marriage between Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi.
At that time, Zhang Youyi, who was only 15 years old, did not know that this marriage of her parents' fate matchmaker made her suffer a lot of grievances.
The hindsighted Xu Zhimo was forced to marry a bride he had never met into the door. After seeing Zhang Youyi, the corners of his mouth unconsciously skimmed, quite disgusted.
This disgust made him pay little attention to Zhang Youyi after the two were married, except for being ordered by his father to perform the most basic marriage obligations.
In this way, the two young men were handcuffed to the shackles of marriage. And this seems to have laid the groundwork for the misfortune of the future.
He later took his wife, who was already married, to study abroad, but unfortunately, the two soon divorced in 1922.
After the divorce, Zhang Youyi did not give up or ignore Xu Zhimo's parents because of her own identity, but came to serve the two old people as soon as she had time.
After Xu Zhimo's death, in order not to let Xu Zhimo's works be buried in the crosshairs of time. A woman ran around planning, and finally the Taiwanese version of "The Complete Works of Xu Zhimo" was published, allowing the world to see the man's remarkable literary talent.
She said, "You always ask me if I love Xu Zhimo. You know, I can't answer that question. I can't say anything about love, I've never said 'I love you' to anyone in my life. If taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family is called love, then I probably love him. Of the few women he's met in his life, maybe I love him the most. ”。
In 1920, Xu Zhimo, who was 23 years old at the time, met the "white moonlight" of this life in London, that is, the 16-year-old Lin Huiyin.
It is said that when Lin Huiyin saw Xu Zhimo, he blurted out "uncle", which made Xu Zhimo, who was ready to talk, scratch his head in embarrassment. Soon, however, the two became acquainted.
He was attracted by the little girl's smile, and he seemed to be in love. Especially when he saw lin Huiyin reading the poems of Byron and Shelley in pure English, he was completely lost, and he felt that this was the love he wanted.
For this 16-year-old cardamom girl, the charm emitted by Xu Zhimo is also unstoppable. Whether it was Xu Zhimo's handsome appearance or his warm gaze, it attracted her.
Under his gradually revealed poetic talent, the young Lin Huiyin experienced a romantic feeling.
Once, when the two were strolling along the Kangqiao River, he finally couldn't resist his emotions, he was very excited and nervous, he felt that he must let the girl in front of him know his voice.
He said to Lin Huiyin affectionately: "When I am with you, my mind is full of poems, I will be a poet in the future, and I will write poems for you for the rest of my life!" ”。
In an instant, Lin Huiyin felt that his heart was hit by something, and the "bang bang" began to beat rapidly.
However, this dialogue on the banks of the Kangqiao River is doomed to be inconclusive. At that time, he seemed to have forgotten that he still had Zhang Youyi, his wife, and a newborn child.
And his confession made the young Lin Huiyin toss and turn, as if excited, as if he was worried. Therefore, Lin Huiyin told his father about this matter, and Lin Changmin was a little anxious after hearing it.
Good fellow, I treat you like a friend of the year, you actually think of my daughter! No, absolutely not, Xu Zhimo is a person with a wife.
The next day, Lin Changmin wrote a letter to Xu Zhimo on behalf of his daughter: "The fierceness of the love under the foot is terrifying, and Hui is also afraid and does not know how to answer." Then he quietly returned to China with his daughter.
After knowing that Lin Huiyin was gone, he felt that his heart had also run away, leaving only full of disappointment. The days survived until 1921, a year in which, at Dickenson's recommendation, he was specially recruited to study at Cambridge.
During this period, he was influenced by European and American romanticism, which also had an important influence on his subsequent series of poems.
At the same time, he seemed to understand one thing. Lin Huiyin may have run because he had a family, and this idea affected him more and more profoundly.
Therefore, in 1922, despite his father's strong opposition, he resolutely divorced Zhang Youyi and gave up the doctorate that was about to arrive.
At that moment, his mind was full of Lin Huiyin's figure, and he wanted to return to China quickly to tell him the news. However, on his way to find Lin Huiyin with the divorce papers, he heard the news that Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng were engaged.
Maybe it was a trick of fate, at that moment his head was blank, and he was clutching the divorce paper in his hand.
Years later, when Lin Huiyin mentioned this past to her children, she said: "Xu Zhimo did not love the real me, but Lin Huiyin he imagined with the romantic emotions of a poet, and in fact I am not that kind of person." ”。
In March 1928, Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng officially registered their marriage in Ottawa. That day, Liang Sicheng said to Lin Huiyin in disbelief: "I only asked once, and I will not ask again in the future, why me?" ”
Lin Huiyin replied romantically and affectionately: "The answer is very long, I need to spend my whole life to answer, are you ready?" ”。
Here, after hearing the news that Lin Huiyin had given Liang Sicheng, the heartbroken Xu Zhimo could only accept this fact no matter how painful he was, and the white moonlight could only become the white moonlight in his heart forever.
He also met his second and last wife, Lu Xiaoman, shortly after.
When he met Lu Xiaoman, the emptiness and dead silence in his heart were completely ignited by Lu Xiaoman's fiery heat, and the dry firewood was raging and uncontrollable. This is exactly the same sentence, "I don't know what to do, I go deeper."
At that time, Lu Xiaoman was still a human wife, and her husband was Xu Zhimo's good friend Wang Geng. In order to be with him completely, Lu Xiaoman also chose to divorce Wang Geng without hesitation.
But this love that transcends the world is destined not to be accepted and blessed by more people.
Even so, the two were married. Of course, although Liang Qichao did not like such a woman, but because of the master-apprentice relationship, Old Liang still attended the wedding.
Finally, Lao Liang even used "I hope this is the last marriage between the two of you" as a congratulatory message.
Because Lu Xiaoman came from a wealthy family, after the two got married, Lu Xiaoman still did not change the problem of spending money lavishly before.
You know, in order to marry Lu Xiaoman, Xu Zhimo completely broke up with his family, and the savings of these two years could not withstand Lu Xiaoman's consumption. How can this be done?
Fortunately, we still have literary talent, so he began to teach part-time in major universities in Beiping, and his monthly income was quite large, about 500 oceans. At that time, 20 oceans were enough to support an average family for a month.
And it is such an income that can hardly afford Lu Xiaoman's consumption. It can be said that Lu Xiaoman has become a burden and a burden to him.
Perhaps, this time is really love, love is deep, love is difficult to extricate, Xu Zhimo can only pull down his face and look around to find someone to lend money to Lu Xiaomanhua.
Because the two were separated by two places, in order to be able to see Lu Xiaoman's figure at all times. He naturally hoped that Lu Xiaoman could come to him, but Lu Xiaoman was always reluctant to go north and leave Shanghai.
As a result, he could only run between the two places, physically and mentally exhausted, but he never let go of Lu Xiaoman. Even later, Lu Xiaoman became contaminated with opium.
After Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman had no financial resources, but due to opium torture, Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu came together seven years later.
However, at this time, Lu Xiaoman refused to allow Weng Ruiwu to abandon his wife and marry himself. In Lu Xiaoman's heart, the man who died seven years ago was his only husband.
In her bedroom, there is still a silent hanging of Xu Zhimo's portrait, and the flowers used to pay tribute are also changed from time to time to keep them fresh.
As she said in her address to Shima: "How many past dust has become a nightmare, five years of mourning, hurrying and eternal tips; don't hate who to say, a sad illness, a faint soul." ”
Friends and family had gone to the funeral a lot, and all she remembered was the crowd of black people and the countless pictures of him surrounded by flowers, where she stood lonely like a homeless child, saying, "Shima, dead." will. ”。
Tears fell down unconsciously. Years later, when she recalled this scene again, her heart still rippled, and everything was in silence.
In his later years, Lu Xiaoman was dying of old age, but he finally became a professional painter at the Shanghai Academy of Painting. After thousands of sails, Lu Xiaoman finally realized the expectations of his deceased husband.
Men see beautiful and moving, women see men handsome and moving, are bumpy and unbreakable truths. He has pursued love, freedom and beauty all his life, and he has always longed to meet a woman who can combine all three.
However, the amorous are always annoyed by ruthlessness, but they are also ruthless and sentient. The love of the world can hardly escape, and it is difficult for those who watch the sea to be water, and those who are obsessed with it are embarrassed.
Heaven and earth have great beauty without words, and the intersection of sorrow and joy contains the inexplicable avenue of nature.
The young man went, as he said in his poem: "Quietly I go, just as I come quietly; I wave my sleeve without taking away a cloud." ”