A mother's confession: I will be better in the next life, will you still be my daughter?

My girl died, three days ago!

She just had her twenty-second birthday, when she was three years old, I divorced her father, at that time I was alone with her, it was not easy, I loved her very much, I loved her very much, so I wanted her to get ahead, and I was very strict with her. When she was in elementary school, I enrolled her in a lot of classes, there were tutoring classes, interest classes, in order to let her go to these classes, I had to work two jobs a day, leaving early and returning late. At night, she was alone at home, I didn't have time to come back to take care of her, she went to various classes by herself, and she had to make herself eat, she was very sensible, which made me worry a lot.

One day I was working in the factory, I followed a phone call, it was her tutor teacher called, said that the child did not go to school, I was very angry, I directly rode a bicycle I went home, into the door I saw her at home, I did not hit a place, I went up to give her two big mouths, I hit her, while telling her:

"Do you know how much I love you, do you know what I gave for you?" I'm tired every day, I work two jobs, not for you? Your father won't let me worry about it, and you won't let me worry about it, do you still give me a way to live? ”

The child didn't cry at the time, and when I found out about my emotions, she hugged me and said:

"Mom, I was wrong, not next time."

Later, I learned from the neighbor that my girl was sick and was not in good health that day, so she did not go, and she did not tell me, because she was afraid that I would get on fire.

When I was in my third year of high school, I bought her a lot of revision questions, I stared at her every day, sat next to her, watched her write, I read with her until two or three o'clock, she didn't sleep, I didn't sleep. Once in a mock lab test, she dropped three places, three places! So I went to their school to see what was going on, as soon as I arrived at the school and saw her with a boy at the door, just at the door of the class, there was talk and laughter, I was particularly hot at the time, I thought at the time, no wonder the grades fell, early love!

I went into their class, dragged them both out, led them to the homeroom teacher's office, and in front of all the teachers, I pointed my nose and scolded her, saying:

"Why don't you worry about me so much, you actually fell in love early?" Do you still want a face? "Then I told these teachers, how difficult it is for me, all these years I have been a father and a mother, I work two jobs, I accompany her every night, I accompany her until two or three o'clock, and as a result, she is so unconcerned, she actually fell in love early." At that time, my girl said she didn't. I didn't believe her at all, and I asked her to promise in front of all the teachers that she would never talk to the boy again, and she agreed.

Later, the teacher called me and said that he had finished his investigation, saying that they were not in love, that is, asking math problems, and saying that the child was stressed, so the grades declined. I talked to her once in the evening and I said:

"Just these last few months, can we step up our efforts?" Don't be distracted in these months, don't fall in love, you have to survive these months, we are admitted to Peking University, our life will be flat, you can't get into college, isn't this life over? ”

My girl nodded and said, I will not let you down, and finally the child was admitted, admitted to Peking University, and then graduated, she also stayed there to work. For so many years, she and I have never reported good news or bad news, at the beginning I didn't know at all, last Year's New Year, she didn't grab the ticket to go home, let me give her this scolding on the phone, I scolded her for more than two hours. I say:

"Are you used to living in a big city anymore, so you don't want your mother in this small place?" Have you forgotten what I offered you back then? I pee a handful of, your dad and your dad ignored me, so many years did not come to see you, dare to love you are also like this, the New Year is to let me be alone at home for the New Year? "She rushed back on the second day of the Chinese New Year, and I didn't give her a good face, and I didn't even make her a hot meal!" [Tears]

In fact, three days ago my girl called me, so many years she told me for the first time, said that the work is not going well, said that at the same time excluded her, said that there are no friends, said that there was no love..............I did not listen to her finish speaking, I scolded her:

"How? You tell me you can't hold on? What qualifications do you have to persevere? From childhood to adulthood, I am so difficult, so bitter, your father is gone, don't let us both, I pulled you up alone, I didn't say I couldn't hold on, what is this thing you are doing now? Who hasn't experienced it? How difficult am I? When you go to school, I stay up with you until two or three o'clock, and when you work, I work two jobs....."

Before I could finish speaking, she hung up the phone, I was very angry, I called her and she didn't answer, I didn't expect anything... That was the last phone call I made with my girl, I think now, you said that if I didn't scold her at that time, I comforted and comforted her, the child never told me this, the first time I told me that she was wronged, I comforted her, wouldn't I not want to open? Later, through his roommate, I learned that the child had been depressed for two years, and I didn't know anything about the mother, she didn't even have a friend, and my roommate knew that she had been depressed for two years.

[Courgah] This is my girl's favorite food when she was a child, I didn't let her eat it at that time, and now I can't eat it!

Do I love her??? I love her, if I love her, how can I impose the failures, dissatisfaction, pain and unwillingness in my life on her, I see now, it is my hands, my hands, I personally pushed my children into the abyss........ [Crying] [Crying] [Crying]

Girl, you should be happy now, right? Because heaven has no mother, can't bother you anymore, you say......... If I change well in this life, I study hard now, and I change well in the next life, will you still be my girlfriend? [Tears] [Tears] [Tears]

#Depression ##Listen to other people's stories# #感悟自己的人生 #