01
Life is a process of constantly greeting tomorrow, although interlocked, but every day should be new, as an adult, if you want to make your life good, want to live your life well, I think it is very important to let the past pass.
In fact, the memory is originally very beautiful, as long as you can let the past pass, in turn, those who have been torturing you must be their own obsessions.
Always entangled with the past, always affected by the past, it should feel sad to say, can not comfort themselves that this is infatuation and single-mindedness.
There is a passage that is very attractive to me:
"In the world of feelings, there is no misunderstanding, no miss, no helplessness, everything that happens must happen."
We can't waste a lot of feelings and tears in the missed feelings, that should have been a lesson, a growth, then we should let ourselves get a lesson and grow. If you have to have an emotion, it's a thank you, a cherish, a blessing.
Yes, a relationship always has a long, long impact on our lives, and even changes the trajectory of our lives, but all of this seems to be destined to be good, good or bad, it makes sense.
You have a new life, then no matter how innocent the past feelings are, and how infatuated you are, how much you give, how much persistence, it is not worth your turning back. Of course, this is not to persuade you to let go, nor is it to force you to forget, the real experience that happened in the years, it is impossible to forget.
It's just that we have to correct our own attitude, to be able to face that person with the right attitude and emotion, not to like or to be sad, not to love or hate, and to be like water.
02
Whenever he talked about this, Zhang Tong (pseudonym) would feel a heart-rending colic, but he was more depressed. And the shadow that this incident brought to Zhang Tong is that he feels that the most terrible thing in marriage is not the pain of three years, let alone the itch of seven years, but the first love of each other.
Specifically, we must start from knowing our wives.
When he knew his wife, he knew what kind of past his wife had, before Zhang Tong, his wife had talked about a boyfriend (first love), alarmed the family, conceived for her, had a fetus, and had a willing attachment to herself.
It can be said that it is a man deeply engraved in his wife's heart, and he also has an irreplaceable position in his wife's life.
So Zhang Tong also knew that his wife still had a photo of him, but she had never broken this layer of window paper.
Later, a lot of things happened between the wife and the first love, plus the first love went to the field, and the relationship was gone. When they are together, Zhang Tong also knows that his wife is difficult to let go, but he comforts himself that time will make people forget everything.
Then I married my wife for seven years, but I couldn't find out what shortcomings my wife had, and I didn't have to say anything to my family, to my children, to my parents.
Until one day, Zhang Tong discovered his wife's abnormality, his wife, who never went out at night, proposed to go downstairs for a walk, it was still night, and his attitude was resolute. Doubt is on the one hand, uneasy is the other, in short, Zhang Tong also secretly followed out, so he saw this scene, as he said: "Seven years of marriage, I hid in the car, watching my wife and her first love hug for a long time." ”
Yes, the wife secretly went out to see her first love, and I don't know when they got in touch, only that when I saw them hugging each other fiercely, Zhang Tong's tears couldn't stop flowing out.
After going back, Zhang Tong still pretended that this had not happened, because he did not know what to say, but in the next period of time, his wife became more abnormal.
Finally, this incident became a shadow in Zhang Tong's heart, and there was no way to vent the pain.
So Zhang Tong also did not hold back to say broken, in the face of the facts, his wife did not deny, so many years or did not put down, as soon as he saw it, the emotions broke out, and at that time, he was also entangled, contradictory and did not see, but sensibility overcame reason.
However, nothing happened to the two people, and it was inevitable that many tears would be left behind. Yes, the days were still as calm and calm as ever, but in Zhang Tong's heart, there was a magic obstacle, and that hurdle could not be passed, resulting in a gap between the husband and wife.
03
It is very sour, but because of this, we must control our emotions better, so as not to destroy the intimacy and trust between husband and wife because of our own impulses. What has happened, even if it is beautiful, is after all the past tense, the present is important, the future is the most important.
So this is after we get married, after having a new relationship, we must pay special attention to it, and we can no longer be affectionate in the body of the first love.
As Yi Shu said: "The past let it pass, has wasted so much time, bad that many tears, should be forgotten." ”
If there is still a seed of emotion, then the entanglement of the broken thread will definitely make the seed gradually take root, and later, it will be difficult for you to control yourself.
The best thing is to kill in the cradle in time, and when the contradiction is seen and not seen, choose not to see it with certainty, you just need to know that not seeing is always the right choice. Even if you see it, what's the point? Got a wish? Eliminate your own obsession? Don't be stupid, just fool yourself.
The beauty of the past only happened in the past, and in the past situation and environment, with the transformation of the environment and the situation, and then demanding a certain result, will only directly erase and destroy the beauty hidden in the memory.
Many times, maybe it's not because the person is too good, or it's not that the previous feelings are too real and too deep, but I can't forget myself in the years.
Yes, this is also the most difficult, with a relationship to make a break, it is very easy, with a life to make a break, it is also very easy, only with the past self, want to make a complete break, it is difficult and difficult, but have to do it. Think more about what is most important, and some things, which are only used for memories, should be placed in memories.
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