Guoqing accidentally brushed the plot of "Wang Gui and Anna" a few days ago, and revisited it again, only to find that Anna and Wen Li's similar marriage, a completely different fate, stemmed from different mothers, from the attitude of the mother's family.
Different from Wen Li's self-righteous sense of superiority, Anna looks down on Wang Gui, in addition to the sense of superiority of urban people, but also because she has a first love and a favorite man. So to say how much she hates Wang Gui, no, after all, Anna has also been to the countryside. Her resistance to Wang Gui, Wang Gui originally had a small family temperament, more is that she has a heart.
When her free love disappeared. When she was overwhelmed and felt that her future was uncertain, her friend's analysis of mate selection and life made her no longer resist Wang Gui. Not to mention there is also a god assist - Anna's mother. To tell the truth, when I first watched it, I didn't agree with Anna's mother's approach, and I always felt that I blindly let my daughter seek perfection, at least the first time Wang Gui beat Anna, it was Wang Gui's fault. Compared with Wen Li's mother-in-law, Anna's mother-in-law is obviously much more evil, and it is deliberately evil in the depths of her heart. Wen Li's mother-in-law did not provoke right and wrong, chicken soup for her sons and granddaughters, and let her daughter-in-law drink water.
But I can revisit it and discover the importance of a mother like Anmu to the marriage of her children.
Anna's mother experienced a good life, when she was a child, there were many slaves, and it can be said that ten fingers do not touch the spring water. But then again and again encountered, the days became more and more ordinary. Not to mention the maid, so many children to raise, it is good to be able to eat and wear warm, naturally from a thousand gold miss to an ordinary woman who manages the housework, and learn to do everything by herself.
Perhaps encounters, or perhaps life is transparent, so that Anna's mother always looks at things through phenomena to see the essence.
Although living a hard life still knows that providing for children to go to college does mean that parents are still more discerning, but then again, pouring everything out of the family to support a college student, this college student is still mixed well, those who are not in school and are not famous in the family will definitely rely on this person and rely on this person with courage.
Anna's mother could not have failed to think of this, and the reason why she only saw the good ones was more to appease Anna. Anna was not young at that time, and she was just an ordinary worker, although the conditions in the family were much better than those of Wang Gui's family, but there were many brothers and sisters, and she was not much stronger. What's more, marry a man and marry a man, dress and eat. As a university teacher, Wang Gui, in fact, at that time, the conditions were quite good. Now the salaries of university teachers are not low, and you can imagine the lack of talent at that time.
Only when one considers the material basis can one have the mind to think of other things. If it were not for Anna's mother being very active in promoting this matter, Wang Gui, although satisfied with Anna, did not want to seek perfection. The facts also proved that Anna's mother's vision was not wrong. Wang Gui's character is no problem, and he also has a sense of responsibility, thinking about substitute classes, earning more money, and giving it to his wife.
Later, every time something happened, Anna's mother stood on the side of her son-in-law, always saying that her daughter was careful, did she not know that her daughter had been wronged? You know, people are strange animals, when you feel wronged, the people around you also feel that you are wronged, you will feel more wronged. On the contrary, someone explains you from other aspects, looks at the same thing from different angles, and you realize from it that a slap does not make a sound, and that a thing cannot be just a person's fault, but can calmly reflect on yourself.
There was once a very famous passage, a couple of golden wedding banquet, the juniors learned from the old couple how to support each other for so many years, the old man said a word "forbearance", the old lady said, no, four words "one endure and then endure"
To put it bluntly, a couple without two hearts, there is a lot of friction, everyone is a little wrong, or just different ways of expressing each other, there is always no essential hatred. Just as the so-called persuasion and non-persuasion are not a matter of character, they violate the moral bottom line. If at this time like Wen Li's family, only know to blindly accuse the man, let Wen Li feel that she is right, in addition to adding fuel to the fire, making the woman more extreme, more self-righteous, there is no benefit.
Anna's mother always said that her daughter had a bad temper, but in addition to being a little girl when she first got married, Anna was more optimistic, strong and rational and decisive than Wang Gui. Anna's mother just taught her daughter to learn to be more tolerant, a responsible, conscientious man who would not fail to understand his wife's compromises and hardships. Just like Wang Gui will offer to let her mother go home, she will be very grateful for her mother-in-law's efforts, and will shed tears in Anna's picking vegetable leaves.
Is it really wronged to let the daughter be wronged? No, every time Anna's mother said it was Anna's fault, Anna slowly learned to adjust her way of doing things, learned to be soft. Wen Li's mother and sisters scolded Tong Zhi to the point of bloodshed every time, never said that it was Wen Li's fault, and the result was that Wen Li did extreme things again and again, until she ruined her husband's career and future, and cold her husband wanted to tolerate her heart again and again, and was completely dead to his wife. The last time, Wen Li's mother said that she was old, and her previous experience did not work, not that it did not work, but that she found that she had handled the matter of her daughter and son-in-law wrongly.
It is said that the best parents learn to let go, and after their children start a family, they learn to get out of their small family. Young people have the way young people deal with it, and you should use the way of people who have come to teach her that the family needs to tolerate each other, tolerate each other, and appreciate each other. Instead of using so-called experience to make the contradiction bigger.
Anna's mother is not unaware that sometimes it is not her daughter's fault, wenli's mother is not unaware that many times it is her daughter's fault, but the two mothers' completely different ways of handling it have created a different marriage ending for their daughters. Some people will say that Wang Gui is much stronger than Tong Zhi, so do you think that someone like Wen Li, such a mother's family will have a better life than Anna when she meets Wang Gui? A wife who has never wanted to tolerate her husband, understand her husband, and have an affair with a daughter and son-in-law, only know the favoritism of the mother-in-law's family, who meets and can be happy.
It is said that looking at the pig to see the circle, the daughter-in-law must look at the mother-in-law, and sure enough, the old saying of thousands of years still has a certain truth. As a mother, a daughter learns to act as a bystander in her child's marriage, rather than a participant and a guide. Just as the so-called bystanders clear the authorities and look at the problem from a neutral point of view, they will have unexpected gains.
Marriage is a matter of two families, but marriage is a matter of two people. In addition to both spouses, others, inclusive parents, siblings, learn to be bystanders rather than participants and mentors.
Whether your mother is "Mother Anna" or "Mama Wenli" in your marriage If the former, congratulations, if the latter, please learn to make your own decisions. It is said that every couple has the impulse to kill each other thousands of times, but on the way to buy a knife, they see what the other person likes to eat, and they forget to buy a knife when they buy something.
Marriage is not easy, and it is done and cherished!!!