A while ago, a news that "because the surname is too rare, the whole village collectively changed the surname to duck" rushed to the hot search, causing heated discussions.
Just a few days ago, a father surnamed "Gou" was also on the hot search for changing his child's surname.
This father's ancestral surname was Jing (pronounced gòu), which gradually evolved into "芶" over time.
When he entered his surname on the system, because the technology at that time could not recognize the word "芶", he had no choice but to use "Gou" instead.
However, because the surname is too unique, it caused great trouble to the father, and he has been nicknamed since he was a child, and when he grew up, he also encountered a lot of trouble in the title.
The colleagues in the unit all call each other "Xiao Zhang" and "Xiao Wang", but when he arrives, he can only say awkwardly:
"Hey, how about this..."
Now that his daughter has been born, the father surnamed "Gou" can't bear to let her repeat the same mistakes, so he made up his mind to change the character "Gou" back to the ancestral "respect", once and for all.
But when the father shared his experience of changing his surname, it sparked heated discussions among netizens.
The focus of many netizens is not how unique the father's surname is, but why he would rather change his surname than follow his mother's surname.
Some netizens pointed out that according to the regulations on the naming of newborns, the child either follows the father's surname or the mother's surname, or is the same as the surname of the elders in the family, and cannot be changed casually.
If this is the case, then why go to great lengths to change the child to an unfamiliar surname instead of taking the mother's surname?
Netizens feel that this father seems to be a mountain of fatherly love on the surface, but if you think about it, it is a bit pedantic, and he would rather change his daughter's surname than follow his mother's surname.
Indeed, in recent years, with the awakening of women's consciousness, more and more women have called for their children to "take their mother's surname".
According to the data of the "Survey Report on Family Relations with Mother's Surname" released in 2020, the ratio of mother's surname to father's surname has increased to 1:12.
Having children, making money to support the family, running the housework, and doing the same work, why can't children follow their surname?
This is the idea that many children take their mother's surname.
However, while this is not unreasonable, we should also consider the impact of following the mother's surname on the child's development.
In the current environment, if the child is really allowed to take the mother's surname, it is likely to cause some unnecessary trouble.
Want your child to take their mother's last name? It's not that simple
It seems that the child taking the mother's surname is to fight for the mother, but the result is not so simple.
On the one hand, most of the elderly now attach great importance to the issue of children's surnames, and if the children take the mother's surname, it is easy to be regarded as outsiders by the in-laws, making the children angry in the grandparents' house.
Especially for the "big family" with more members, among the children with the "father's surname", the children with the "mother's surname" will inevitably be snubbed, making the child feel wronged, and then blame this sadness on the mother.
On the other hand, the children who now take the mother's surname are still a minority after all, and this special one can easily attract all kinds of suspicion and discussion for the child.
For example, guess that the child grew up in a divorced family, is not the child's biological father, the father's family status is low at home, and so on.
In addition to affecting the physical and mental health of children, it is also easy to affect the relationship between husband and wife.
According to the "Survey Report on Family Relations with Mother's Surname", more than 70% of families with mother's surname are divorced or separated.
Therefore, if you want to let the child take the mother's surname, it is likely that the child will be injured in the end.
Take a rational look at surname culture
In fact, if we think about it, is the question of following the father's surname or the mother's surname really that important?
Compared with the child's surname, a harmonious and stable growth environment is much more important.
If you want your child to take the mother's surname, in addition to doing a good job in the family's ideological work, Bao's mother must also let the child understand that taking the mother's surname is because the parents are open-minded and the family atmosphere is harmonious, not for some other reason.
The surname culture has been passed down for thousands of years, we should look at it rationally, and avoid affecting the parent-child relationship and family relationship because of the child's surname problem, and make things that put the cart before the horse.
For example, a netizen shared that when his parents were in college, they discussed the support of their children after divorce in their bedroom.
The father decisively proposed: "Whoever has the surname with will be raised." ”
This netizen instantly felt extremely aggrieved, as if the sky had fallen, because she found that fatherly love is not unconditional, and the father can not want himself, but must have a sister with his surname.
Although her parents did not divorce later, the relationship between the netizen and her father changed, and she never took the initiative to call him father again.
Now that many years have passed, the daughter has long forgiven her father, but the relationship between father and daughter cannot be as close as it used to be.
What the child's last name is and who he is with may be important, but not so important.
Looking far, everyone is just an insignificant speck of dust in history, does it really make sense what the surname is?
Epilogue:
Whether it is the father's surname or the mother's surname, whether the family environment is harmonious and whether the child can grow up healthily is the most important thing.
When parents make a choice, they must look rationally at the issue of their children's surnames, and do not affect the happiness of their children in their lives because of a surname.
Today's topic: What do you think about the child's surname?