Although today is Women's Day, I will not pretend that I am still young, I have crossed the 50-year-old threshold.
Strangely, when this age of scary women arrived, compared to my 30s, 35s and 40s, I felt that 50 was my best time.
Although my wrinkles have increased, my state of mind has stretched.
I got everything I deserved; I also recognized what I couldn't get, either I was not suitable, or I tried hard but Providence did not cooperate, so there are no regrets.
Standing at the age of 50 and looking back, I would like to give these 5 pieces of advice to my younger self.
1
Forget all the sunk costs and hit the road lightly, even if you start over from 0
Whether it's an investment failure, a job failure, or a relationship failure, irreparable things are like broken glass and spilled milk.
The clouds are light and breezy, not that they don't care about everything, but they understand what sunk costs are. For example, being cheated by millions, broken relationships and marriages, drawing pies but just not suitable for their work.
The best thing you can do about these sunk costs is to pack up the pieces, take out a small notebook and write down the lessons, and remind yourself to never make the same mistake again.
Then, shake your head and forget about it all, and if you can't forget it for a while, tell yourself that spending an extra minute to pain and regret about the sunk cost is a waste of your current life.
All you have to focus on is what I need to do today to benefit myself tomorrow. Even if your investment and loss in the past are great, the past has passed, and you can start today and travel lightly.
Even if everything goes to zero and starts from zero, this is a new and bright beginning.
2
The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, followed by now
What you want to do in your heart, don't delay, don't say it's too late, just start today. For example, planning a long-desired trip, such as realizing some ideals that can be reached on tiptoe.
Most people look at "too late" to stand today and look at the past: Why didn't I buy a house earlier? Why didn't I change jobs earlier? Why didn't I travel earlier? Why didn't I raise my children earlier?
You should look at time differently: not looking at the past from today, but looking at today from the future—today is the earliest day more than any day in the future. It's definitely more time to do it today than to do it later!
(A reader's mother is asking me if it's still time in the forties, and this is my answer)
The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, followed by now.
Whatever your tree is, start planting it now.
I believe that after 5 years and 10 years, you will thank yourself at that time.
3
Ask only about cultivation, not about harvest; Give up control and enjoy the process
Confucius said, Fifty know the destiny of heaven. This sentence does not mean that when you are 50 years old, you will accept your life. Rather, it means that when one reaches fifty, one understands what things cannot be dictated by manpower.
To a large extent, the process of one's own affairs is something that you can control, and the result is not, you need to be in the right time and place. Therefore, only seek conscientiousness, not results; Ask only about cultivation, not about harvest.
If you learn early on to look at the successes and failures of each stage from the perspective of home, you will become happy, not tangled, and not frustrated early.
What is a writer's perspective? A good result of a thing can be regarded as an achievement, but if there is no result or the result is bad, it can also be used as the material and experience of adult life.
Whatever the outcome, it's a gain for yourself.
The final result of everyone is the same, life is actually mainly about living a process, if you enjoy and experience it in the process, you earn it.
4
Being a sincere person is the most efficient life
Women are generally more worldly and more concerned about other people's opinions than men. Women's happiness comes first and foremost from living authentically.
What is real? Be honest about your needs and dreams.
There are only two things in the world that cannot be pretended, one is liking and the other is being happy. After pretending for a long time, it will always show its stuffing, and it will eat back at yourself and your loved ones. That's when you find that you've taken a lot of detours.
Admit what you really think, there is nothing to be ashamed of. If you obviously like something very much, but pretend not to like it, obviously don't like one thing, but pretend to like it, not only will you live a screwed life, but you will also waste your life, and you can't have the life you really want.
Don't cater to others, don't care about other people's gazes, but ask your own heart.
What you like from the heart, what you want to do from the heart, as long as you don't hurt others, you don't need others to recognize, and you should pursue it in big strides!
You live your own life, whether you live well or not, others can't take responsibility, and they don't really care.
5
Don't get kidnapped by consumerism, don't swap your hard-earned money for piles of clutter
After working hard to earn money for a while, you can treat yourself appropriately. But don't pay too much for emotions, especially buying back things that you haven't used a few times, but let them take up valuable square meters.
The value of an item is not entirely determined by the price, let alone by the brand, but by the number of times you use it and the total value of pleasure it brings you. Precious essence is not expensive, if you want to buy, buy items that will make you happy for a long time.
When you are young, try to save money first to buy large assets, such as houses that can maintain and increase their value, and then buy few and better consumer goods, including luxury goods.
Money for keeping yourself healthy can't be saved. For example, annual physical examination, such as medical expenses, if there is a minor illness, strangle it in the cradle as soon as possible, do not develop into chronic diseases and major diseases.
Money that increases life experience cannot be saved. For example, traveling to a foreign land, such as learning a new knowledge or skill that you want to learn.
6
It's not worth spending too much time and energy on staying young and beautiful, but you can do these four things with small investments and big results
By 50 you'll understand that if you can spend the time you spent when you were young and dressing up for study and work, you can achieve things earlier than you could have imagined.
Compared with men, the biggest obstacle to women's careers is the dedication to their family and the obsession with pleasing others. The former is inevitable and worth investing, while the latter can be let go.
Of course, if you want to please yourself, staying young and beautiful is also encouraged. You might as well do these four things from now on, which will keep you young and beautiful more than medical beauty.
1. Self-discipline in life and maintain health;
2. Read books often and study often, which can greatly improve temperament;
3. Relax your mind, ignore those small shortcomings, and discover the good side of life and others;
4. Apply sunscreen every day!
7
Don't expect others to go too deep, your own life and happiness need to be your own responsibility
Whether it's teammates or kids, it's best not to expect too much from them or expect too much, but you can make some demands and suggestions about their behavior.
Whether your life is happy or not, if you want to count on others, you are putting your fate in the hands of others, too passive, too dangerous. Remember, there is no such thing as a free lunch, and all other people's gifts are secretly marked with a price.
Compared to others, hard work may be the smallest price. If you can understand this before the age of 50, you will not expect anyone to hold their fate firmly in their hands in the morning and be their own responsible person.
I hope today's sharing will inspire you who are still young.
I wish you to be a shiny self with your own light source.
Spend your time on something worthwhile, and time will give you valuable value back.