Workplace Counseling: What should I do if I am confused and burned out in my profession and cannot find my direction?

The group of friends is complaining again:

I don't want to work every day, I often feel empty, there is no sense of satisfaction, no sense of value, repetitive work makes people particularly boring, boring, sometimes I want to do this, sometimes I want to do that, but I can't think of what to do well, very confused, anxious...

After listening to my parents, I became an elementary school teacher after graduation, and everyone envied my stability, but all this was not what I wanted, and I was more and more eager for change, freshness and challenges ...

I have taken a lot of certificates and have the idea of changing careers, but I have not made up my mind, and I don't know what kind of job I am suitable for?

The bank lays off employees, and he loses his job because of this, but he does not have a skill, what will he do in the future?

……

In life, too many people enter the workplace, more and more lost themselves, or tired of looking at the future at a glance, can not find any passion and motivation, we easily define it as career confusion, burnout and so on.

Many visitors seek help from psychological counseling because of such problems. But in-depth discussion found that many of our so-called professional confusion and burnout are actually appearances, and more related to the heart.

1. Distinction between work, occupation and career

Work: It's what you're currently doing, a task or practice you're doing to make money, maybe it's a temporary job, maybe it's something you're going to do for a while, maybe it's something you want to do for life.

Occupation: It is a means of making a living, a stage of life demand, including a career direction for many jobs, such as at least 5 to 10 years to do.

Career: It is a pursuit of the meaning of life, which refers to long-term, worthwhile things to do, and you are willing to give all your labor, even sacrifice your life.

What you are currently engaged in every day is just a means of earning a living, a profession, or a career?

There is a saying that if you do it today, you want to do it tomorrow, and if you do it today, you have to do it tomorrow.

Although the two sentences are only one word apart, they tell the huge difference between career and occupation.

If work is only relied on as survival, and the heart is not really loved, it is inevitable that there will be a lot of passive, insufficient energy, and negative burnout feelings in this process.

And people who think that they are devoting themselves to their careers, even if they are tired and tired, they enjoy it very much, are as happy as food, and even create great value for the company.

Regarding his career, Jobs had this to say:

I'm sure I love what I do, and that's the only reason I've kept going all these years.

So, you have to find out what you love, choose your lover as well, and do the same when you choose your job.

How happy and fortunate it is to be able to find the work, career and career you love and do.

We all envy this state, but most people may not have the luck of doing the work they are interested in and still achieve economic prosperity.

In fact, those who are lucky rely not only on luck, but also on the result of their continuous self-exploration and firm understanding of themselves, which is also the only way to grow.

When we are confused about work, we seem to know what we don't like, but we don't know what we like, but we may all face the same problem: confusion about self-identity.

2. On the development of adolescence

Erickson believes that the developmental issue of adolescence is identity established versus role confusion.

Self-identity is the process of adolescence exploring the differences between oneself and others, knowing oneself, and determining which social role oneself is better suited to.

Simply put, a person asks "Who am I?", "What kind of person will I be?", "How do I fit into society?" and other issues.

01. Identity development outcomes

Canadian psychologist Maria divided identity into four state types according to the two research variables of adolescent exploration and commitment, and different developmental states lead to different developmental outcomes.

1) Identity diffusion – "I don't know what I'm going to do in the future?"

These teenagers seem carefree, but they are anxious, depressed and confused inside, and use avoidance and indifference to hide their inner insecurity and inferiority. Failure to think about or solve identity problems, failure to clarify the future direction of life, and neither exploration nor commitment to options.

This state is also called identifying with the loser.

2) Identity foreclosure – "I'm going to be a teacher because my mother thinks I'm fit to be a teacher." ”

Such adolescents lack opinion, are easy to blindly obey, obey authority, do not make results through various explorations, fail to consider whether they are in line with their own abilities, interests and social standards, but passively accept the results given by others, or choose the results of the scene, and unconsciously make premature commitments.

This state is also called early maturation.

3) Identity moratorium – "I might be a teacher, doctor, or lawyer, but I haven't figured out which one I want yet?" ”

It means that adolescents are experiencing an identity crisis, actively exploring questions about life choices, seeking answers, and without concrete commitments and final decisions.

Rebellion, is a typical sign of this stage. This stage is the inevitable process of forming self-identity, rebellion is the best beginning, and self-doubt, confusion and impulsivity are experienced in adolescence, through various attempts and explorations, in order to establish self-identity, the future can develop better.

This state is also called a seeker.

4) Identity achievement – "I love singing, I want to be a singer." ”

It refers to the fact that adolescents have a clear understanding of themselves through their own exploration, clarify their strengths and weaknesses, make their final choices after evaluating various choices, and establish a commitment to specific goals, beliefs and values.

Such individuals who are enthusiastic about study, work and life, have a strong motivation for achievement, will appear more mature, and will be more mentally healthy.

But in reality, many children fail to do this in adolescence as scheduled, either later into college or later.

This state is also called identifying with the winner.

The task of self-identity development generally begins in adolescence, that is, between the ages of 12 and 18, and is completed between the ages of 18 and 22. In the future of life, self-identity will continue to be reorganized and improved.

If it develops well, we call it identity achievement.

What if it doesn't go well? It can cause teens to stagnate at a certain stage of development, leaving them feeling lost, anxious, depressed, without purpose, struggling to achieve a sense of accomplishment, and having impaired mental health, which we call identity confusion.

The above states may be experienced by adolescents more or less in the process of developing self-identity.

Because adolescents experience various explorations and reflections when developing self-identity, they are prone to chaos.

02. The development of adolescents' self-identity is closely related to the parenting style of parents

If parents care about their children, pay attention to their children's emotional needs, and have more encouragement and affirmation, such adolescents may not be stuck in the same sexual diffusion stage.

If parents give their children full freedom, allow children to explore and experiment, encourage children to think about their own lives and provide support to their children, and fully trust their children's choices and abilities, such adolescents may not be stuck in the same sexual delay stage.

If parents do not have a strong sense of manipulation, do not impose their will on their children, allow children to express different views and encourage children to be independent, such adolescents may not be stuck in the same sexual early closure stage.

In fact, many working people, older unmarried men and women, married men and women and even parents are still stuck in these stages, precisely because they have not achieved identity and allow themselves to perpetuate psychosocial adolescence without limit.

Third, complete your own identity integration in order to truly solve professional problems

In China, most people are deeply tied to their families, and from childhood to adulthood, they are easily influenced by their families in the choice of school, major, job, and location, and are deprived of opportunities to choose, make mistakes, and explore.

They may wait until they are in their 20s to suddenly find that they have not made their own decisions, and feel very anxious and confused; There are also people who have been living in the expectations of others and do not know what their values and interests are.

The career question at this time is not an examination paper in school, there is an absolute standard answer; No job is perfect, you need to judge, to understand, to decide.

If you can't find who you are, you can't answer the questions you face as an adult.

Most people tend to overlook the importance of finding themselves, and are too accustomed to looking outward first to analyze which job has a hukou, which company is famous, and which has a higher salary.

If we neglect to understand and explore ourselves inwardly, but blindly choose outward, no matter what choice we make, we will feel that something is wrong and not what we want.

When you continue to be troubled by this problem, it is worth thinking about, and it also shows that this problem has caused you enough pain, grasp these problems, and this is your opportunity to discover and break through yourself.

How to know and find yourself? Psychological counseling is a good way to help you peel off the cocoon, go deep from the surface of confusion, find the underlying and fundamental problems, understand your interests, values and abilities, and then understand the external world, and then make reasonable inference matching, clarify what you really want, and complete your identity integration.

And really find what you like and suit you, you will regard it as a career, pour a steady stream of enthusiasm, and create the glory of life.