Regarding love, the writer Maugham once said that in the matter of love, if you consider self-esteem, it means that you still love yourself.
The enlightenment brought to us by this sentence is that in the love relationship, a person's self-esteem is too strong, which is not a good thing, it will make a person in the process of pursuing love, fearful, worried, and then likely to rub shoulders with beautiful love.
Unspoken love is a private matter of a person, but if you want to live with the object of your choice, this love relationship is a matter for two people.
Since love is a matter of two people, when pursuing love, you can not only care about your own subjective thoughts, but also take into account the feelings in each other's hearts, only when the two lovers are emotionally like-minded and can understand each other, the love relationship between them will have the possibility of happiness.
In the pursuit of love, a person with too strong self-esteem will always ignore the other party's thoughts due to excessive concern for his subjective feelings, and such a person is likely to miss a beautiful love.
First, people with too much self-esteem sometimes feel that they do not deserve love.
Love is a beautiful thing, in the love relationship, the vast majority of people want their love object is optimistic and positive, even if they like a person in their hearts, but if the other party in this love relationship, show a pessimistic and negative attitude, it will also make the love relationship become unstable.
Love is a mysterious thing, when a person is deeply in love, he is bound to see the other party as very good, so as to reduce his status very low.
Even if she is lonely and cold like Zhang Ailing, when she first fell in love, she would write sentences such as "When she saw him, she became very low and very low, low to the dust, but she liked it in her heart, and flowers blossomed from the dust", not to mention ordinary people?
People with too strong self-esteem are always sensitive in their hearts, if their own conditions are average, when they pursue love, they will have self-doubt that they cannot give each other happiness, so as to show pessimism and negativity in this relationship.
When pursuing love, if a person's self-esteem is too strong, he will feel that he is not worthy of love.
Second, people who care too much about self-esteem are likely to miss love.
In the Novel Pride and Prejudice by British writer Jane Austen, the male protagonist Darcy is a man of great fame and fortune.
Around Darcy, there is no shortage of girls who pursue him, but Darcy always deliberately keeps a sense of distance from them out of the instinct of self-protection.
At a dance, Darcy meets Elizabeth, a girl from a poor background, and although he falls in love with Elizabeth at first sight, he cannot let go of his inner self-esteem, so he behaves arrogantly in front of Darcy.
This made Elizabeth, who originally had a good feeling for Darcy, resent Darcy and develop prejudice against Darcy.
It wasn't until finally Darcy let go of his arrogance and sincerely expressed his love to Elizabeth that the relationship between the two of them had a happy ending.
In my opinion, the twists and turns in the love path between Darcy and Elizabeth is because Darcy can't let go of his self-esteem and shows too much arrogance to Elizabeth, and the reason why the love between the two of them finally succeeds is because Darcy finally let go of his self-esteem and won Elizabeth's heart with a sincere attitude.
People who care too much about their self-esteem are likely to rub shoulders with love.
Third, in a love relationship, a person's self-esteem is too strong, and it is not a wise thing.
Love is a wonderful thing, we never know when it will suddenly come, a person with too strong self-esteem, even if the fate of love comes to his side, he is likely to not be able to grasp the relationship.
In real life, because a person's self-esteem is too strong, and he eventually misses love, there are many examples, and the writer Li Ao once told his experience of pursuing love.
Li Ao met a girl at the station, and he was concerned about his reputation and did not dare to ask the girl for contact information, but he thought that if he did not express his love to the girl at this time, then he might never see the girl again.
Therefore, Li Ao put down his so-called self-esteem and asked the girl for contact information, and the girl eventually became Li Ao's second wife.
Li Ao's story tells us that in a love relationship, self-esteem is too strong, it is not a wise thing, and people who are too sensitive and fragile in their hearts always lack the ability to grasp love.
Love is a matter of two people, if you want to pursue a happy love, you must know how to take into account each other's feelings, and can not care too much about their self-esteem.
A person with too much self-esteem will show two extreme postures emotionally: one is inferiority, and the other is arrogance.
In the love relationship, whether it is inferiority or arrogance, it may make themselves rub shoulders with love, and only by being able to put down their self-esteem and pursue love with a sincere attitude can they win the favor of their lovers.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)