Due to the epidemic, the children have been taking online classes at home for two weeks. Thinking that there was no one to take care of at home, my mother called early in the morning and asked me to send the two children to my sister's house, and the three children were taken care of together, which saved us from worrying, and the children had a companion and did not have to play electronic products after class. Naturally, I couldn't ask for it, but I worked hard for my mother.
On Friday afternoon, he deliberately left work early to pick up the children and let the mother catch her breath. Although I have imagined the three boys taking online lessons at home countless times, I can push the door in and breathe in by the scene in front of me. The floor was covered with tiny blocks, the coffee table on the couch was full of toys and snacks, pillows, quilts, and clothes were scattered everywhere, textbook assignments were drowned in devastation, and everything was as messy as if it had just experienced the sweeping of the enemy. In the kitchen, the mother was half prepared and then called by the children to play cards together and then suspended cooking, and the pressure cooker made a high-pitched chirp, mixed with the screams and laughter of the children, and only made people's hearts flutter.
Seeing me come in, my mother quickly put down the poker in her hand and got up to cook. She slowly straightened her knees, rubbed her knee joints, and then gently and somewhat hard to bend her left leg, adjusted the position of her right foot, stepped on the ground, shifted her center of gravity to her right leg, propped her hands on the sofa next to her, and slowly stood up with the strength of her upper limbs.
As I rushed over to help her, I blamed: "Mom, why do you have to sit on the floor and play, knee injuries should avoid these actions!" Without waiting for the mother to speak, the children shouted: "We are going to lie on the floor and play, play and roll, happy!" Seeing that I was about to reprimand the children, my mother quickly stopped me, rubbing her left knee with her hand, and waving her hand: "Don't discipline the children, old problem, it's all right!"
Seeing the "female devil" mother return, the children relented, pouted and began to clean up, and I went into the kitchen to help my mother. My mother wanted to push me out, saying that I was usually hard and rarely enjoyed a moment of relaxation in front of my mother. Ever since I knew that my bad temper often embarrassed my mother and did not want to live in my house, I always faced her with guilt, before my mother cooked and we Ge You lay down and played with the mobile phone, and I was at ease to enjoy the "daughter privilege" of opening my mouth, and now, I want to slowly get closer to her, close to this person who has nurtured and cared for me for decades, close to her body, her heart, her hidden love that I have not understood.
When my mother started frying the fish, I washed the greens next to me. Yu Guangli's mother was much shorter than me, and her hair volume became very small, but her figure has remained unchanged for many years, and she often says: "I want to exercise well, and less illness is the greatest help to the children." I remembered that my mother used to say that she was also a beauty when she was young, and she always laughed at her narcissism, and now when I look closely, I see that the mother in front of her eyes who has collapsed eyelids but has gentle eyes, a pair of hands that never stops, even if her waist is no longer straight, is still the strong backing of her children, she is not only a beauty, but also our eternal guardian angel and superhero.
I was about to say something nice to make her happy, when my mother suddenly asked me, "Do you want to put onions in this fish?" Are the ribs steamed or braised? Is it better to put less salt in the soup? I replied one by one, and my mother nodded her head and said yes, and immediately did the same. I suddenly realized that when I was a child, I had the impression of a "domineering and authoritarian" mother, the one who urged us to "have to finish planting seedlings to go home!" The stern mother, the oppressive aura emanating from her body has long disappeared with her shrinking height and hair volume, and she does not know when she began to become cautious in front of her children, always looking at the children's faces and talking, whispering and currying favor, it is already a completely different mother!
I suddenly and intensely longed for a time machine to take my mother back to the age when I could control us with one hand, and I would rather accept her angry rebuke again than the chilling humility in front of me! I suddenly understood the sentence: "All the love in the world is for the sake of getting together, only the mother's love points to separation", when the mother pays all the youth to raise us, we belong to the future that is gradually drifting away, belongs to the distant place that the mother can never reach, occasionally looking back, what we see is always the mother smiling and waving, but I can't see how deeply my back shadow that goes forward without any obstacles is deep in the lonely eyes of the mother.
I washed the greens slowly, thinking about how to test my mother's evaluation of my recent performance, whether she would accept my invitation to move in with me, whether I would still have the opportunity to accompany my mother and make up for some debt to my mother. So, I "inadvertently" said that I recently took some emotional management courses, it feels quite useful, I have not yelled at the child for more than a month, the parent-child relationship is obviously more harmonious than before, I don't know if my mother feels my change.
The mother stopped the spatula in her hand and said softly, "That's right. Give your child more substances, it is better to give them a comfortable and stress-free environment. It's home, a place where people want to come back whenever they want. She said softly, but like a silent slap in the face, I was ashamed. After a while, the mother seemed to say to herself: "Don't bother the children, in a few years, I won't have a chance to bother them." Then you will regret why you were not patient in the first place. "My mother's words are like a reminder of me as a mother, and like an apology she expresses to us as a mother. At that moment, my heart surged with countless emotions, so I wanted to rush over and hug this "repentant" mother hard, so I wanted to tell her loudly that maternal love only temporarily pointed to separation, and when my daughter grew up, those who had received love would be folded back and returned to the mother!
But for decades, the emotional communication between mother and daughter has been implicitly hidden, and the sensational words really can't be said, so I erase the lines that have been practiced many times in my heart, as usual, rough and directly demanding: "Mom, go back to live with me in some days, help me cook, I'm a little too busy, ask people to spend money, the burden is too heavy." My mother may have guessed my thoughts, and the tacit understanding of not revealing each other made her a little shy, and her eyes were dodging and she did not dare to look at me, but she could not hide her happiness and hurriedly responded to me: "Eh! Nice! My baby! ”
Mixed feelings could not restrain the tears rushing out, I quickly fled the kitchen on the pretext of checking the children's homework, like receiving a love letter from a crush, locked the door and jumped up happily!
☆ About the author: Yang Hua, a native of Miluo, Hunan, is a nurse and currently lives in Guangzhou.
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Editor: Yi Shusheng