The Austrian psychologist Adler once said a very classic quote: "Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives." ”
I believe that everyone is deeply touched when they see this sentence.
Everyone's childhood experience will have an unavoidable impact on our adult lives to a greater or lesser extent.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
Recently, I received a private message from a mother, saying that 5-year-old children often say that they are unhappy, ask him where he is unhappy, he can't say it, anyway, he just feels unhappy.
If asked what is happiness? It may be difficult to answer for a while.
Everyone has their own definition of happiness in their hearts, for example, happiness is a sunny and warm afternoon, a cup of coffee, a book, enjoy a moment of tranquility.
Or happiness is a warm hug given by the child when the child returns home after a tiring day.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
So, what is the happiness of a child? The happiness of a child is simple, it is hidden in every little thing in life.
The following 3 things are the easiest for children to feel happy, have you done it?
Read books and tell stories to your children
I miss the good times when I was a kid with the radio and listening to the radio.
From the small speaker, you can always hear a lot of stories and historical allusions of storytelling, and even one person can listen to it with relish.
After work, I like to touch the feeling of words very much, open the book, the faint smell of ink, so that the heart is instantly stable and peaceful.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
Reading is a happy and elegant thing. Accompanying children to read will also make children feel happy.
I don't know when, my family's guobao likes to read books before going to bed, enjoy the process of reading books while soaking feet, after soaking feet and washing, you have to take 3 more books for dad to read.
This habit persisted for more than 1 year, even if she returned to her hometown and forgot to take the book, she had to let her father find three books for her to read.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
There was once a survey that showed that more than 70% of families, the main force of parent-child co-reading is mothers.
If the child can hear the father telling stories half an hour before going to bed, the happiness will be very sufficient.
This can be felt from the hearty laughter that comes from the house from time to time. Men telling stories and women telling stories are very different.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
Usually, when my mother reads books and tells stories, she will tell specific and detailed according to the plot in the picture book;
And Dad's reading and storytelling will be more humorous, exaggerated, and even mixed with many funny elements, the imagination of Pegasus Starry Sky, what kind of plot may appear.
Having a father who can tell a story is the happiest thing in a child's childhood.
Play games with your child
Nothing makes a child happier than playing a game. If so, play again.
Many parents may say that it is simple to play games with their children, and when they are confident at the beginning, they will feel bored and unable to continue.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
Or simply play with your phone while accompanying your child.
As a parent, not only support your child to play games, but also realize that it is very important to play with your child.
Education comes from life and is also practiced in life.
Accompanying children, to explore with children with an open mind, these daily moments of getting along are the best opportunities for children to grow.
Psychologist Lawrence argues in his book "The Power of Play" that parents should learn to "play" because play is the only way children are willing to accept communication.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
When playing with children, parents try to choose interactive games that can cultivate children's observation, concentration, and hand-eye coordination skills.
For example, the "Wooden Man" mini-game that trains children's hearing and self-control:
This game meets the needs of children's movement and imitation, children in the walk, run, jump in the game, to learn to obey the instructions, that is, to control their own behavior.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
The gameplay of the Wooden Man is numerous, which can be shouted with the slogan "123 Wooden Man";
It could also be "We are all wooden people, we are not allowed to talk or move!" ", can also be carried out according to the rhythm of the music.
This game can not only exercise the expressiveness and control of children's limbs, but also improve children's language expression ability and increase children's self-control.
As children grow up, we can play more games with our children, such as hide-and-seek, building blocks, puzzles, playing outdoors, and so on.
Image source: Guangxi Nanning Spring Children's Home
It is a child's luck to have a parent who can patiently accompany them to play.
Give your child a sense of ritual in life
Most of the love of Chinese parents for their children is hidden in silent giving, and will not be revealed.
Naturally, children are also less likely to express their love for their parents.
Life needs a sense of ceremony, although the sense of ritual looks very superficial, but it can bring us a very great sense of happiness.
Image source: Hohhot Benzhen Montessori Kindergarten
For example, a hug every time you go out or go home, a family portrait every year, a surprise gift from the other party on a holiday or anniversary...
This "sense of ceremony" binds all members of the family together, accepting each other, recognizing each other, and drawing strength from it.
For children, the sense of ceremony is not only an expectation, but also a rich connotation, and children can learn more knowledge and become a cultured person.
Image source: Hohhot Benzhen Montessori Kindergarten
Especially like the New Year, paste spring joints, paste window flowers, wrap dumplings... Such a traditional custom can be described as full of rituals.
In a happy family, a sense of ceremony is indispensable, and it can make children feel the small blessings of different moments in life.
Living in a family with a strong sense of ritual, children will also be deeply affected.
Seeing the serious attitude of parents to treat every ordinary day, children will learn to take life more seriously.
Image source: Hohhot Benzhen Montessori Kindergarten
How do you build a sense of family ritual?
Every family is different, the emphasis of the sense of ceremony is different, and many things can become family rituals. For example, the following three aspects:
1. The child's birthday group photo every year.
The child's growth is fast, yesterday was still a mischievous little cute, in the blink of an eye into a backpack to explore the world explorer.
Don't want to forget the changes in your child's growth, a family portrait on your child's birthday is undoubtedly the best way to keep a good time.
Image source: Hohhot Benzhen Montessori Kindergarten
2. Daily dining etiquette.
The presence of the dining table at home is the best way for children to have a sense of ceremony.
For example, the placement of rice bowls and chopsticks before meals makes children understand that they are part of the family, have to pay labor, and be grateful for their parents' cooking and food.
Don't look at these behaviors as small as they may seem, but they are actually a strong self-suggestion that allows children to take everything seriously.
Image source: Hohhot Benzhen Montessori Kindergarten
3, special days have surprises.
Every family has a lot of different special days, and on each special day, we can also give our children a ritual to make this day different.
For example, regular family travel can not only make children feel the beauty of life, but also broaden their children's horizons and perceive the world.
For example, a child's first time in school, the first time he won an award, and even his parents' wedding anniversary, etc., can take a family portrait and eat a big meal together.
Image source: Hohhot Benzhen Montessori Kindergarten
A ritualistic life that allows children to feel from an early age that life can be so exquisite, will also enhance the emotional connection and family cohesion between family members.
Although the days are ordinary, in addition to fireworks, the occasional sense of ceremony will increase the child's happiness.
Many times, the "child's problem" you see reflects the essence, which is actually the "parent's problem".
And the reason why you feel that educating your children is very tired is probably that there is something wrong with your way of educating.
Image source: Hohhot Benzhen Montessori Kindergarten
Dr. Maria Montessori, an Italian educator, once said, "The happiness of adulthood is closely linked to the kind of life that children live." ”
Everything we do to our child will blossom and bear fruit, not only for his life, but also for his whole life.
The 3 things that are easiest for children to feel happy, I hope every parent can do it.
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