Wen \ Tang Tang, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
Gorky once said:
"The less a man needs, the greater his happiness; the more he desires, the less freedom he has."
When I was a child, I didn't understand this truth, and at that time I always thought that the more I had, the more happiness I had; when I grew up, I understood that if you were not satisfied, then the more you wanted, the more pain there would be.
Yes, a person's suffering often comes from too many desires, so that the soul carries too much burden, and true happiness is not a pile of gold and jade, everything is available, but simple contentment, just right.
Therefore, after middle age, choose a "low consumption" mode of life, reduce life, and walk with your heart.
01. Don't be trapped by emotions
After graduating from college, her friend Keiko changed two companies and has not been satisfied with her work.
Recently, she changed to a new company and is still sullen.
When I asked why, she said, "I think my colleagues in the company are always targeting me, and the leaders are deliberately trying to make things difficult for me." ”
I comforted her and said, "You think too much, you just arrived at the new company, and everyone has no holidays, how can this be?" ”
Keiko gave me a few examples to prove it.
She said the leader and a few colleagues ate a hot pot dinner but did not call her; colleagues chatted in the pantry, and as soon as she went in, they dispersed.
Holiday gifts, to colleagues are sent headphones, thermos cups, but to her is lipstick; overtime to write the research report, the leader read but said, the depth is not enough to rewrite; send a message to colleagues, a long time to reply to a "hmm" word ...
After listening to Keiko's crackling speech, I enlightened her like this.
I said that many times, a person's distress may sometimes be imagined out of thin air, but this is not the case.
The dinner didn't call you, maybe it was a temporary idea of the leader and a few colleagues, who didn't think too much about it at all.
The gifts are different, perhaps the leader considers that you are a girl who loves to be pretty, so he deliberately chose lipstick for you.
The leader asked you to change the report, perhaps deliberately polishing you and motivating you to do better...
And colleagues, if it is night, he really may not see it.
Writer Liu Na said:
"Emotion is a gun, and when we pull the trigger on emotion, the muzzle is actually aimed at ourselves."
Yes, when you have not yet figured out the situation, you will start to be suspicious and emotionally exhausted, which is really thinking too much, and it will naturally make you physically and mentally exhausted.
In fact, before getting the real reason, instead of spending energy on small things that are useless, it is better to pay more attention to the good heart and improve yourself.
Only when you jump out of the cage of negative emotions, put the attention invested in chicken and dog pieces, and withdraw to the important things in front of you, you will have more time to manage yourself better.
02. Don't be disturbed by social interaction
Yu Qiuyu once frankly said:
"In interpersonal communication, often lose weight and detoxify, and then easily go the way forward."
People come and go in this life. On the surface, there are many friends and friends; in fact, there are few like-minded friends who share weal and woe. Therefore, people do not have to deliberately weave networks for the sake of socializing.
Netizen Lao Du shared one thing.
One of Lao Du's friends is named Akai, who is a brash man who likes to participate in various liquor stores. All kinds of gatherings of friends, he was never absent.
Akai often boasts that he knows the leaders of many public companies. One of the phrases he most often hangs on his lips is: "Connections are money veins." ”
A few days ago, when Akai attended the party, he drank too much and was hospitalized with stomach bleeding. After Lao Du heard about it, he bought nutritional products and went to the hospital to visit him.
After Lao Du entered the ward, he saw that Akai was mentally weak, his face was haggard, and he had completely lost his former spirit. At the bedside, only his wife was with him.
Seeing Lao Du, Akai sighed, or an old friend worried about himself.
Listening to his words, Lao Du was very confused, because he felt that Akai knew a lot of people, and he would not be so door-to-door.
Akai shook his head, sighed, and said, "When I encounter something, I know that they are all friends with wine and meat, and they can't be relied on at all." ”
Akai said that two days ago, the company's project had a problem. He also wanted to contact these friends for help. However, he made a round of phone calls, and not only was no one willing to help, but some people didn't even answer the phone.
Only then did he discover that the impregnable relationship in his eyes was actually vulnerable.
Yes, adult friendships can't be established with a few drinking sessions, it depends on your value.
Instead of expending energy to maintain a useless community circle, it is better to precipitate yourself, improve yourself, and make yourself have greater value.
If you really have enough value, someone will take the initiative to make friends with you; if you have no value, deliberately maintaining networks will only take time and effort, and gain little.
As the old saying goes:
"When interests intersect, the benefits are scattered; when the forces intersect, the forces are defeated; the power is intersected, and the power is lost; only by intersecting with the heart can it be made long."
Yes, most of the people who are familiar with you are friends of interest, we do not need to put them in the ranks of true friends, and we do not have to place too high expectations on them, and those who have been with us at our low point are our true friends, and it is enough to put them in our hearts and cherish them.
03. Don't worry about the past
Heard a quote:
"Don't fight the past, we are not opponents."
A person, if trapped in the past and unable to extricate himself, will only let himself lose more.
In the TV series "In the Name of Family", Chen Ting and Ling Heping's family of four were originally a warm and harmonious family until an accident occurred.
One day, Chen Ting went out to play mahjong and locked Ling Xiao and her sister at home, and as a result, her sister was choked to death by eating walnuts.
After the unexpected death of her daughter, Chen Ting not only did not reflect on her own problems, but also vented all her resentment on her husband and son.
Almost every day, she quarreled at home, blaming her husband for ignoring the family and condemning Ling Xiao for killing her sister.
The atmosphere in the home gradually became suffocating. Her husband didn't like to go home anymore, and Ling Xiao was becoming more and more silent. Eventually, a good home is broken.
The tragedy of Chen Ting is that she trapped herself in the past, constantly creating new pain, and the result is to hurt people and harm them.
The past is a foregone conclusion, and since it cannot be changed, it is brave to accept it and look up.
In a speech, Mo Yan mentioned a past event that made him miserable.
As a child, he followed his mother to the field to collect ears of wheat, and was caught by the guards of the wheat field. The guards slapped their mother hard and snatched the ears of wheat they had painstakingly picked up.
Looking at his mother's lonely figure and the corners of his bleeding mouth, Mo Yan's heart was broken.
One day many years later, Mo Yan and his mother met the caretaker again at the market, and he had become a rickety old man.
Mo Yan was furious from the bottom of his heart, ready to rush up and beat him up.
The mother grabbed him and said softly, "Son, you read it wrong, this person is not the one who hit me back then." ”
Mo Yan looked at his mother's determined expression and instantly understood his mother's bitter heart.
In fact, the old man was the caretaker. But the matter was over, and the mother did not want him to remember those painful memories.
Thoreau once said:
"The more a person has many things to let go of, the richer he is."
The human heart is like a small warehouse, if it is full of resentment, there is no place to place happiness.
Therefore, in the face of the past, learn to let go, in order to make the heart light; learn to let go, in order to let us go further.
04. Don't be bound by gains and losses
Zhuang Zi said:
"Gain without joy, lose without worry, and know the impermanence of division."
This means that if you get it, you don't get complacent; if you lose, you don't worry anymore.
The gains and losses in life are always accompanied by a cycle. Gains and losses are like blessings and misfortunes, and only by treating them calmly can we be calm.
When Apple was founded, it had three founders, and Wayne was one of them.
But it wasn't long before Wayne chose to resign. He sold his stake to Jobs for $8 million.
Later, Wayne took a job he liked, and although the income was not high, he enjoyed it.
More than 40 years later, Apple has changed dramatically, becoming the world's most valuable company.
The shares that Wayne sold that year were valued at $80 billion.
A reporter asked Wayne:
"Do you regret your choice?" If you hadn't sold your shares that year, you would be a super-rich man by now. ”
Wayne smiled and replied:
"I've never regretted leaving Apple. Although I lost my wealth, I had priceless health. ”
If Wayne had stayed at Apple, perhaps he would have stayed up late and worked overtime like Jobs, ignoring his physical health.
Choosing to leave, although Wayne lost the opportunity to become rich, he had more time to exercise, enjoy life, and harvest health and happiness that is more precious than wealth.
Yes, the writer Yishu said:
"There are gains and losses, is life, do not be indignant."
People live their whole lives, always hovering between gain and loss. In the face of gains and losses, we should not be entangled in calculations, suffering from gains and losses, but should "look at the amount of wind and things for a long time" and deal with them calmly, only in this way can you have more beauty in life.
When you learn to look at gains and losses with a normal mind, you will find that all losses will eventually return to you with another surprise.
05. Mei Niang said
Su Shi has a poetry cloud:
"The taste of the world is pure joy."
Qinghuan is the subtraction of life, and it is a low-consumption life that deletes complexity and simplifies.
Only when life is simple can we be free and free; only when we are quiet in our hearts can we be sincerely happy.
Learn to love yourself well; not be trapped by emotions;
Stay away from low-quality social interactions and not be disturbed by social interactions;
Let go of the pain and look forward, not worried about the past;
Maintain a normal mindset and not be bound by gains and losses.
In the faint fireworks of the rest of our lives, may we all travel lightly and encounter a more beautiful scenery of life.
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