Embracing love, harvesting marriage, and joining hands for the rest of your life are the common expectations of all people. Everyone's heart is waiting for their own happiness.
The appearance of lovers makes our lives full of sunshine and warmth. The advent of marriage has changed the trajectory of everyone's life.
When we start a new family, our focus will shift. In the future life, the lover is the only one who is likely to accompany you to old age.
Smart people know that taking care of their "small family" first can ensure the harmony of the big family. Unable to distinguish between priority and priority, most of them broke the heart of the other half.
The feelings between husband and wife should become the most important line of defense in the heart. Respecting and taking care of the idea of a loved one is an important prerequisite for running a marriage.
However, some people always release their willfulness. They like to use threats and cold wars to force each other to submit, which can eventually lead to big mistakes.
The reader, Fang Jie (pseudonym), wrote that he and his wife had been married for 5 years and had been living in repression. Every time there is a quarrel, the other party always responds with "send me back to my mother's house immediately". This mantra became his nightmare.
01. Boys with a gentle personality are often very popular with girls. Fang Jie's overall image is good, thin and tall, and he speaks softly and is very good at taking care of people.
However, because of his low education and average family background, he did not have any advantages when looking for a partner. Coupled with his stupidity, he has not been able to harvest true love for a long time.
It wasn't until he was 29 years old that he met Xiao Ke (pseudonym) online that he began his first relationship. The girl is good looking and very fashionable.
In fact, the styles of the two are completely incompatible, but under the persuasion of his parents, Xiao Ke took a fancy to his loyalty, honesty and diligence, so he agreed to be with him.
02. In love, Fang Jie is obedient in everything, and the salary of six or seven thousand per month, more than half of which must be spent on Xiao Ke. But he was willing, after all, the other party was beautiful.
Although he vaguely felt that Xiao Ke did not respect himself much, Fang Jie did not care much, after all, in his opinion, it was right for a boy to let his girlfriend.
However, when talking about marriage, the other party put forward a request for a dowry of 260,000 yuan. For an ordinary family like him, it is indeed a huge amount of money.
After repeated negotiations, the other party changed the amount to 180,000. But Xiao Ke complained in public: "Which of my girlfriends and friends is not better than me?" More than 200,000 refused to give. ”
Such words made Fang Jie feel very guilty, and he decided to make money with his heart and make up for it. After marriage, the two lived in the rented house and began to struggle for the purchase plan.
03. But in life, Fang Jie always feels inferior. He not only contracted housework, was considerate and careful, but also always tolerated Xiao Ke's brutality and willfulness.
But no matter how much you tolerate and pander, the other party's attitude is always not very good. If there is a slight dishonesty, Xiao Ke will make mockery and accusations.
"I married you but I married you", "If you don't work harder, I will kick you", "Hurry up and make money to buy a house, I was really blind to see you"...
These words stung Fang Jie's heart, and once he resisted two sentences of criticism, and Xiao Ke immediately turned his face: "Immediately send me back to my mother's house!" ”
That night, my mother-in-law rushed over in a rage, counting down with extremely ugly words, smashing the rice cooker and knocking on the television.
Such a move made Fang Jie unexpected, and he did not expect that the other party would use such a barbaric way to solve the problems in the marriage.
04. After that, Fang Jie became more cowardly, even if Xiao Ke was not very kind to his in-laws, he could only tolerate it, because as long as he quarreled, the other party chose to return to his mother's house.
And Xiao Ke is a person who never knows how to defend her husband, and her favorite thing to do is to count the in-laws in front of her parents and friends.
Married for 5 years, Fang Jie has been living in the shadows. Every time he heard the mantra "Send me back to my mother's house immediately", he was creepy and very jealous.
After several years of hard work, he finally saved enough money to buy a house, and took out 200,000 savings, along with 100,000 yuan sponsored by his parents, and he was ready to pay the down payment.
But Xiao Ke was angry again, she hated the house was too small, and openly accused her husband of being useless and hating her in-laws' family for being too poor. For a moment, Fang Jie's accumulated anger all erupted.
The two had a big fight, and my mother-in-law came to argue as usual. But this time, he was completely cold and had the idea of breaking up.
Emotional analysis:
Love that suffers humiliation and injustice may not even be able to obtain basic warmth. Timely stop loss should be Fang Jie's best choice.
Of course, the failure of marriage is also related to his original concept of mate selection. Excessive attention to appearance and chronic lack of communication are the main causes of error.
Everyone should understand a truth: if you don't love, stay away as soon as possible and avoid harm; if you work together, then manage with your heart and know how to cherish.
Without a perfect marriage, if you live in comparison, your heart will be filled with desire and vanity, which will inevitably affect the feelings between husband and wife.
When getting married and starting a family, everyone should harvest a growth, put the lover first, and do not reveal the shortcomings of the other half to outsiders, which is the most basic etiquette.
The rest of life is very long, and curbing willfulness and maintaining tolerance is the way to manage feelings. Only those who know how to protect their lovers and protect their marriage can firmly grasp happiness.