Author: Slash Girl ing (Parents Intensive Reading Author)
Evolutionary mother: Be a parent who loves herself and respects her children, and has a good child who loves her parents, respects her parents, and is considerate of her parents.
Recently, Ms. Liu of Cangzhou, Hebei Province, shared a small video.
Ms. Liu went to the hospital alone for infusion because of a cold, and the three sons rushed to the hospital to ask for warmth after knowing it, and netizens commented: "It's so happy, there is such a son." ”
Ms. Liu said that the three children were in the first year of junior high school, and the child's father was running out for transportation, so he could only go to the hospital for infusion.
The three sons called their mother a video after school in the afternoon, and it turned out that Ms. Liu was infusion, so they kept asking Ms. Liu where she was, and hung up the phone after asking for the address.
Not long after, the three children came to the hospital one after another, greeted themselves with a cold greeting, repeatedly checked with the examination report, asked if there was anything wrong, and finally accompanied their mother home after the infusion.
At the moment when she saw the three children appear, Ms. Liu said: "My confidence has come, and suddenly I don't feel so wronged." ”
Yes, this is the most simple happiness of life.
For parents, raising a child who is filial piety, knows cold and heat, and knows how to be distressed and considerate of parents is the greatest blessing.
Because when your husband is not at home and there is no one around, you will find that the noise of the child is happy; when you get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, the child will accompany you, you will feel that the child's company is enough.
However, many parents often complain that their children do not understand things, and they have obviously paid a lot, but they still cannot get the approval of their children.
Are you really doing it right on the path to raising children?
Parents love themselves, children will love you
I remember that there was an episode of the variety show "Teenagers Say", and a high school girl loudly enrolled her mother's yoga class on stage.
It turned out that her mother was a yoga enthusiast who practiced yoga for 8 years and also obtained a senior yoga teacher certificate, but gave up this hobby in order to take care of her life.
For the child, she is grateful for the care of her mother all the time, but she also hopes that her mother can regain her hobbies and be herself.
Because for her, in addition to being a mother, or herself, she will also want to live the life she wants, rather than becoming a nanny who deals with kitchen chores every day and has no life of her own.
At this time, the mother standing in the audience has cried into tears, and she never expected that her daughter would let her love herself a little more on such an occasion.
Many times, parents are like this, always thinking of giving the best to their children, but ignoring that they also need to be loved.
Just like the ordering of the values of life shared by papi sauce, first oneself, then others.
And parents are only a role in life, or it may be a role for children, bosses, subordinates, etc., only the role of "self" is always their own.
Therefore, before loving the child, please learn to love yourself, in the child's heart, rather than a meticulous parent, they want to see a parent with self-worth and shine in their own field.
Some time ago, a mother complained that she was hospitalized for acute appendicitis, but the child did not want to go to the hospital to see her, saying: "Isn't it appendicitis, what's the fuss." ”
This made her very cold, feeling that she had given her heart to the child, from childhood to Dalian bowl has not been brushed, even a pair of socks are reluctant to let him wash, in the end sick even the child does not care.
In the book "The Road Few People Walk", it is said: "Love in the true sense is both love for oneself and love for others. ”
If you just blindly raise your own children poorly, the children will be more "heartless and lungless".
This kind of family education, it seems that parents have been accommodating, have been paying, in fact, parents stole the children's love for them.
Only when parents start to value themselves will children value you.
Parents respect their children, and children will respect you
I've always hated that people didn't knock on the door and enter my room, or connect the phone without my permission to move my things, but at this point, my parents did a great job.
I am ashamed to say that when I was in high school, I agreed with my mother that as long as I was admitted to the top three grades, I would get a new mobile phone, and in order to get a new mobile phone, I riveted a month before the exam, and finally got my wish.
But in that semester, because I couldn't withstand the pursuit of a boy in the class, I fell in love, and I didn't dare to tell my parents about this, and I was afraid every time I came home.
During that time, I agreed with my boyfriend to call at 10:30 p.m., but that day my mother took me out, and I forgot my phone on the couch, while my dad just lay on the couch watching TV.
It was eleven o'clock when my relatives came back, and I was very worried that my secret would be discovered by my father, so I went to find my mobile phone as soon as I got home, only to show a few missed calls, and after inquiry, I learned that my father did not answer my phone at all.
He said: "You have grown up, and without your permission, we will not easily move your things, nor can we answer the phone." ”
At that moment, I decided to be a respectful person in the future, thanking my parents for their respect for me.
I am very fortunate to have such parents, but also let my future road has been very smooth, what I want to do, always make my own decisions, parents only suggest, never help me make decisions.
Respect is always mutual, which is why many parents do not have a good relationship with their children, children often confront their parents, do not put their parents in their eyes, and sometimes even move their hands.
Because they lack respect for children in their education methods, they often ignore and deny children's ideas, do not care about children's privacy, and think that children can have any privacy? Even often backsliding, the promise of children has never been done.
These are all behaviors that do not respect children, because parents will always unconsciously substitute for age and experience, always feel that they live a long time to see more, children should listen to their own words, so as to reduce losses.
But no matter what stage the child is at, he hopes to be respected and accepted by his parents, and when parents find that their children do not respect themselves, it is precisely when they need to reflect on whether they respect their children and whether the education method is reasonable.
Don't be afraid to admit mistakes, in your child's eyes, this is the beginning of your respect for them.
Parents love, children will be more considerate
Wanting children to be considerate of their parents is actually very simple, as long as the parents do a good job.
If a family, the husband understands the wife, the wife cares for the husband, the child is naturally in the eyes, on the contrary, if the family relationship is unbalanced, the child is the first to feel.
Bi Shumin said: "Don't complain that children are born without love, love and being loved are the skills of iron pestles into needles for a hundred years, just like walking, you need to practice repeatedly, you will be able to fly like a fly." ”
In the TV series "Little Joy", the Ji Shengli family, although the husband and wife are out of the house for many years because of their work, neglect to care for their son Ji Yangyang.
But when Ji Yangyang learned that his mother was sick, he rushed to the barber shop to get his hair polished, and many people cried.
Because from the beginning to the end, Ji Shengli's family does not lack love, and the husband and wife respect each other as guests and are harmonious.
When they realized the problem of their children's education, the two immediately made adjustments, and it was they who taught the children what love is.
When eating breakfast, Liu Jing was just dizzy, but Ji Shengli had been worried until the evening, and the first thing he did when he came home was:
"Didn't you say I was going to pick you up?" Still dizzy today? ”
When he saw that Liu Jing was uncomfortable because of chemotherapy, he said: "Jing'er, don't be afraid, let's wear a hat, what about me?" ”
With such a family atmosphere, even if Ji Yangyang takes a little detour, he will eventually look up to his parents and is a good child who knows how to be considerate of his parents.
Therefore, it is not difficult to raise a child who knows how to be considerate, the difficulty is how to create such an atmosphere for children.
A child who knows you cold and warm and knows how to be considerate is not born, but is born with his ears.
Be a parent who loves himself and respects his children, and has a good child who loves his parents, respects his parents, and is considerate of his parents.
If you happen to have a child who knows how to hurt you, hug him well, because this is the greatest happiness in your life.
Author's Profile: Slash Girl ing, Rich Book Columnist, Article: Parents Evolution, the copyright of this article belongs to Rich Book, unauthorized, may not be reprinted, infringement must be investigated, Rich Book 2018 launched a new book "Good Life"