Text/Themi Mama (original article, welcome to share and forward personally)
I would like to ask you a question first: will you give your child's old clothes to other children? Or, would you let your children wear someone else's old clothes?
As we all know, children are like this every day, and even if they have just bought clothes for a long time, they have only worn them two or three times, and they may not be able to wear them, at this time, Bao Mom may look at the brand-new clothes, and she also feels reluctant to give them to the children of relatives and friends to wear.
But in fact, as the child grows up day by day, whether it is wearing other people's children's clothes or giving away their own children's clothes, this behavior may have some impact on the child's growth.
From a psychological point of view: if material conditions permit, it is best not to give children other people's old clothes.
What the hell is going on? Let's take a look.
01. Why not recommend that children wear other people's old clothes? 3 points of impact to know
In fact, when children are young, they may not have such a clear understanding, and they do not have too many concepts of clothes.
Especially two or three-year-old children, like to grope, all kinds of tossing, this time, wearing old clothes, parents are not distressed, but also save a lot of money, kill two birds with one stone.
But as children grow up, they may have some damage to their young minds, so let's take a look.
Affect the temperament of the child
In the book "Capturing Children's Sensitive Period", it is clearly mentioned that children will enter their own "aesthetic sensitivity period" around the age of 4.
Children at this stage, especially love beauty, also eager to get approval, this is especially evident in girls.
The author of this book believes that the aesthetics of childhood have a clear impact on the aesthetic tendencies and quality of life of a child's life, and even say that the aesthetics at this stage lay the foundation for the temperament of children in adulthood.
Once we wear old clothes for our children for a long time, we deprive children of the opportunity to choose "beauty", and it is difficult for children to develop their own "aesthetic habits".
You can take the people around you as the basis for judgment, some people are obviously wearing ordinary clothes, but when they are matched, they feel very temperamental, but some people may wear a famous brand, but how to look at it may feel awkward, and this is a person's basic judgment of "aesthetics".
Therefore, if you want to develop your child's "aesthetics", you must start from the child's aesthetic sensitivity period, not only do not let the child wear other people's old clothes, but also let the child choose to match, let the child pick his own clothes, rather than forced to ask.
Will make the child feel "helpless"
There is a word in psychology called "sense of control."
It means that a person believes in his own choices and judgments, and believes that the behavior behind this judgment is consistent with the result.
And once the individual's "sense of control" is not strong, there will be a "sense of helplessness".
The so-called helplessness is the inability to control and change the current state, resulting in a series of feelings of loss and panic.
If the child wears other people's old clothes for a long time, he will fall into this "helplessness" atmosphere, because he cannot choose what he likes and does not have the feeling of being in charge.
Over time, there may be a psychological feeling called "learned helplessness", so that when you encounter problems, you don't know what to do? They will even wait for others to make their own decisions.
Less confident
After the child reaches the age of 3, self-worth and self-awareness gradually sprout, at this time, the child begins to care about other people's opinions, and even values the evaluation that others may unintentionally evaluate.
Therefore, once your own children wear other people's old clothes for a long time, and see other children have beautiful new clothes, it may have a huge gap.
Over time, this gap will form a distinct personal characteristic, that is, lack of self-confidence.
It is even said that some children, in the environment of wearing old clothes for a long time, will form an inferior personality.
Because there is no right to actively choose clothes, but can only rely on other people's old clothes, so such children often have a lower sense of self-identity and a weaker sense of self-worth, because in his view, I can only "rely on" others, can not "rely on myself".
02. So the question is, does the child have to not wear other people's old clothes?
In fact, whether you can wear other people's old clothes is mainly due to the age limit.
Before the child is 3 years old, the self-awareness is not so strong, and the cognition of external things is not clear enough, so at this time, it is completely possible to wear old clothes for the child.
In addition, before the child is 3 years old, he loves to play, often climbing high and low, not happy, knowing that dirty is simply the norm, so there is nothing wrong with wearing old clothes, even if it is dirty, parents will not be too angry, too distressed.
After the age of 3, the child enters the kindergarten, self-awareness sprouts, begins a group life, and there are all kinds of contrasting "objects" around them, so at this time, wearing old clothes for the child will inevitably bring psychological impact to the child.
Of course, although old clothes are ok before the child is 3 years old, it is still exquisite to choose the clothes of other children's children.
Old clothes can be collected before the age of 03.3, but there are several things to learn to refuse
Although it is said that wearing old clothes for the baby before the age of 3 will not have much impact on the child's psychology, when choosing the old clothes sent by others, do not accept them all according to the order, and the following kinds must learn to refuse.
First of all, the clothes of the baby who is often sick.
Babies who are often sick may be weak, and they may also have some bacteria and viruses in their bodies, so in the case that we can't be sure, the clothes of such children should not be taken home.
Because some viruses may exist on clothes for a very long time, and even some are washed several times, it is difficult to completely remove.
Secondly, it is very wet clothes.
Once the child's clothes can not be worn, parents may press the baby's clothes to the bottom of the box, and over time, it is easy to get wet and attach a lot of bacteria.
Therefore, for this kind of clothing, we must learn to refuse, because whether it is too humid or bacteria, there will be certain damage to the child's body.
Finally, there are clothes that don't fit.
To choose clothes for children, we must choose a proper fit, because once the clothes do not fit, the child is not good-looking, and even sometimes for the baby, there will be some unexpected situations.
For example, too many clothes, children are very uncomfortable to wear, and it is easy to be tripped when walking, so that it is not worth the loss.
Mother Themi's message:
Today's young parents may pay attention to the growth of their children, so if family conditions permit, it is better to let their children wear their own clothes as much as possible.
In addition, it can also help children establish a better "aesthetic", which is a great boost for the growth of children.
Finally, I would like to ask you, will you let your children wear other people's old clothes?