Text/Summer
01. Preface
In "No Questions Asked", Xu Bo often has a very classic line: "Can't feelings change?" Why can everything else change, but feelings can't change? ”
In the world, nothing is immutable.
Especially feelings. Men will be hopelessly crazy in love with a person, and may also slowly change their hearts in the change of time.
Love, after deterioration, is like chicken ribs, tasteless food, and it is a pity to abandon it. After love deteriorates, women are often reluctant to give up and dare not admit the fact that men change their hearts.
After men change their minds, there will be a lot of knee-jerk reactions. The other person is still at home, but the heart has long since left home. His behavior has long become indifferent, so that women cannot feel warmth and beauty.
However, although the woman can feel that the man no longer loves her as much as before, he is still unwilling to believe the fact that the man has changed his heart.
Men's performance after changing their minds often begins with "temptation".
02, joke, test the woman's reaction
After a man changes his heart, he will carefully test the woman's reaction to the breakdown of love.
Men do not dare to tell women the truth about their change of heart, and will use jokes to set women's true words. If the woman reacts more violently, he will change his mouth to say that he is just talking and playing, and does not need to really be angry about playing jokes.
In fact, men's temptation is to give women a "preventive shot" and let women have a psychological preparation in advance. By the moment her lies were exposed, she could be a little more sensible and not too impulsive.
The reason why men test women is because what kind of strategy he will adopt to deal with the future "East Window Incident" has not yet been determined.
After men change their minds, they will constantly test women and then adjust their plans.
Men will always test how women will react if they hear two people break up, hoping to know how much harm this relationship will bring to women.
In this world, all the jokes are actually true feelings.
Women, if, you hear the joke "What would you do if I changed my mind" in a man's mouth, be wary.
Men who truly love you deeply will not test your reaction with the joke of "I change my heart". Because, he knows very well, such jokes will increase suspicion and distrust between each other, which is not conducive to the management of feelings.
03, temptation, a woman's bottom line
After the man changes his mind, he carefully tests the bottom line of the woman and boldly lies, just to "protect himself".
Jia Lian in "Dream of the Red Chamber" married Wang Xifeng, and she knew that she was bold and spicy, and there was no sand in her eyes. However, he likes to mess with flowers and weeds, and is extremely dissatisfied with his wife's jealousy.
Therefore, he raised an outer room outside and fell in love with Sister You.
At home, whether it was a servant or a mother-in-law, they all helped him hide from Wang Xifeng. He also said all day that the old man was going to send him a concubine, and everyone had several aunts and wives, constantly testing Wang Xifeng's reaction.
Jia Lian has been testing Wang Xifeng, in fact, she wants to marry the second room. Unexpectedly, Wang Xifeng responded fiercely every time, always threatening: No matter who it is, as long as it dares to blend into their marriage, there will be no good end.
After Jia Lian changed her mind, she did not dare to blatantly marry the second room, and every time she went out on a date, she would lie to Wang Xifeng.
After a man changes his mind, if he wants to hide where his time is spent and where he is hiding his whereabouts, he will start to lie.
Moreover, it will test the bottom line of women again and again. Just to understand what kind of attitude the woman has towards his change of heart.
If the woman is particularly emotional and does something extreme, then he will restrain himself or two.
Or, not taking it in, but habitually lying, so that women have to compromise in the process of being hurt again and again.
04, after the change of heart, the price that temptation needs to pay
In a relationship, both men and women pay the cost of running the relationship.
When a man changes his heart, he will test the woman, after the man changes his heart, how much emotional cost he needs to pay, and what kind of price to pay.
Zhou Fang in "Happiness, Within Reach", when he was about to marry his fiancé Wang Zeyang, found that he had actually changed his heart.
He immediately apologized to Zhou Fang and wanted to see what kind of reaction Zhou Fang had.
Zhou Fang did not want to forgive him at all, and immediately made the decision to break up. Seeing his girlfriend so determined, he began to show his true face.
Wang Zeyang felt that the feelings were irretrievable, it was better to cut it clean, and when Zhou Fang had not yet reacted, he swept away all the property of the two people's companies, leaving Zhou Fang with huge debts.
After men change their hearts, they are unwilling to let go, and sometimes they are actually unwilling to give up their own interests and are unwilling to pay a high price for it.
A man who has changed his heart has long since lost love in his heart, and he will become cold-blooded and ruthless.
He knows that he can no longer get the benefits he wants through emotional maintenance with women, and he will finally break off love and take away the benefits he wants.
After the change of heart, he only thinks about himself and minimizes the harm to himself. As for how much hurt a woman has to bear, he will not care, and he will not be distressed.
05. Summary
Women, men's performance after changing their minds, in fact, is often from the beginning of the "temptation", just need to pay attention to, you can find.
Yi Shu wrote in "People Are Light as Juju": "There is nothing to say about feelings, but those who have 'bitter feelings' are just unshakable. ”
When men change their hearts, women should also quickly adjust their mood and not be too sad. Instead, it is to find a practical path for yourself and learn to rely on yourself.
When a relationship begins to deteriorate and feels the "temptation" of men, women must know in their hearts and learn to prepare for prevention and response in advance.
Men's temptation is actually constantly calculating what kind of price they will pay to end the operation of this relationship. Women, when it's time to be sane, stay sane and don't be too emotional.
When love deteriorates, please look rationally at the breakdown of each other's feelings.
Women, if men are not willing to love you anymore, then please adjust your proportion of giving, and learn to withdraw when necessary.
-END-
Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychologist, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the Internet, a happy woman manager, who has focused on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.