Dictation: Jiang Bengen
Finishing: Miao Yunqiang
Figure: From the network
In the countryside of their hometown, if boys want to find their other half, in addition to being able to make money and look handsome, they must also have the following conditions:
First, the county must have a house (the rural self-built house is not counted), if the boy looks better, belongs to the potential stock, you can retreat to the second, at least in the town to have a suite.
2. The boy's family has more than 100,000 cars;
Third, the bride price starts from 160,000 yuan.
One
In today's northern countryside, due to the imbalance between men and women, boys will not come if they look ordinary, the family conditions are a little worse, and playing with bare sticks is basically a matter of certainty, and almost every village, there are some young people over thirty years old, or alone. Therefore, even divorced women have become "sought-after goods" for unmarried boys.
Uncle Ben Geng, a 57-year-old well-known "matchmaker" in our hometown of Ten Mile Eight Villages, said that the number of blind dates who have been successfully matched by his hands has exceeded more than 80 pairs so far, so his success rate has made him a veritable "gold medal" matchmaker in the surrounding villages.
Uncle Bengen initially introduced people to people, all for free, said that before marriage, the man will symbolically buy some gifts, usually two cigarettes, a few packs of candy, two roosters and a large carp. Today, with the change of economic situation, matchmakers have become a profitable profession.
However, Uncle Bengen did not charge much, 5,000 yuan. But this little money is not so easy to earn, some difficult people's homes, worn out, I don't know how many times to run back and forth. In addition, some girls go to work in other places, many people choose to marry outside, and the scarcity of girls' resources also makes it more difficult to say that the difficulty of media is even more difficult.
In the countryside of the hometown, almost every village has a matchmaker like Uncle Bengen, but their age is generally over 60 years old, and they will not use smart phones, let alone play WeChat and QQ, so the reason why Uncle Bengun is "sought after" by everyone is also related to his use of WeChat and QQ.
Those elderly matchmakers, are with their own mouth to describe how the man and the woman look, today's society, everyone is working in the field, who will continue to communicate with the other party who has no concept?
And Uncle Bengen opened a number of photos of the boy in the mobile phone album, the other party at a glance, if it looks more pleasing, the girl's parents will inform uncle Bengen of their daughter's WeChat signal, let him do another transmission, let the boy and the girl's WeChat chat first.
If you have feelings for each other, you will report to your parents, and then say good to the matchmaker that you will meet, and then take time off to come back to meet.
However, the time of meeting is generally arranged on National Day or Spring Festival. At that time, the matchmaker will take the boy to the woman's side, and on the way, the matchmaker will tell the boy in detail what to pay attention to when he goes to the woman.
In the countryside of northern Jiangsu, blind dates basically follow the routine of twenty or thirty years ago. The boy met the woman's relatives and friends, smiled, "let the smoke" first, and kept saying hello to everyone. From the outside of the door to the inside of the door, although the distance is only one or two0 meters, this distance can basically determine whether there is a "drama".
Those who come to see the boys are the women's close door or the girl's little sisters, and they will give the boys an "exam" through a conversation or some topic.
Speaking of "exams", Uncle Bengan told a very funny true story. That was the second time he was a matchmaker, when a family member of the girl actually asked the boy on a blind date the following question: "Do you know how many strips of foreign cars (bicycles)?" Sow how many mimi? How many eyes does the cut lotus have? The result can be imagined, the boy can not answer, blind date ended in failure.
Of course, that's just an extreme case, and more often than not, the woman's parents and the near door will ask about the boy's work and family. Thus from various sources to find out the man's family background, or whether the boy has potential.
In the process of blind dates, girls often mix with relatives and friends, watching the boy's words and deeds. If the woman's family feels good, it will be discussed and the boy and girl will meet alone. The time will not be too long, basically around ten minutes.
Uncle Bengen said that these few minutes are the key to the key, in addition to the boy will "vote for his liking", but also to make the other party feel enough sincerity, if at this time not grasped well, the boy will definitely "take advantage of the fun and return to the disappointment".
In fact, boys and girls go home on blind dates, often seeing many of them, and they are looking for each other to suit themselves better. At the scene, the general woman will not immediately give the matchmaker an answer, whether the other party can or can not, but, after a round of blind dates, will tell the matchmaker the final goal.
Two
Over the years, with the rising of objects and house prices, the bride price is also rising, from 1300 thirty years ago, to 8800 twenty years ago, to 18000 in 10 years, to 88000 today, if you add houses and cars, for the countryside in northern Jiangsu, the biggest increase is marriage.
If the man is a son, it is better, if it is two or more brothers, if the parents do not have the unique "secret" of making money, it will be a lifetime of hard work. If there are many brothers, the woman will generally open her mouth widely, because, don't be white, don't want it, don't want it in vain.
If it is only a dowry, it is not too difficult for many families, but the requirements are not only these. Some of the girls that Uncle Ben Geng has contacted have roughly the same requirements: there must be commercial houses in the county, there must be more than 100,000 cars at home, and parents are best in their early 40s, and they can take care of their children in the future.
Today, in the county seat of the hometown, the house price has been in the early 6,000s per square. If you calculate according to 90 square meters, plus decoration, at least 600,000, plus cars, bride price, wine, etc., without 800,000, it is difficult to cope with this before and after.
At the same time, almost all girls want the man to be an only son, so that the resources from their parents are basically enjoyed by themselves, so that life will be much easier.
In recent years, in the face of the chaos of the bride price, the government has also introduced some restrictive measures, but the implementation is very difficult, in the countryside, the amount of the bride price has formed an unwritten rule, willing to find a partner for their children, even if they smash the pot and sell iron, will be willing to pay their own hard-earned money.
Uncle Bengan told me about his own cousin, who had just gotten married ten days earlier. The cousin is looking for a girl from Linxian County, because both of them work in Xuzhou, their house was bought in the city, for this reason, the cousin's parents came up with a down payment of more than 400,000 yuan, and now, the task of marrying his wife is completed, but his parents still owe 250,000 yuan.
Uncle Bengen said that in the countryside, where children marry, 95% of the families are in debt, and some, even have to be repaid by their parents for ten or even twenty years.
Three
In the countryside, there are all kinds of people, and everyone has a different purpose. But Uncle Bengen said that there are suitable boys and girls in the surrounding villages, and parents will usually call him and ask him to help find them.
Such resources are concentrated more, he will be based on each person's age, education, occupation, family background, height, hobbies, etc., to classify, know that the other side can not be defeated, he said that the success rate of the media is high, there is still a reason.
Talk about your income. Uncle Bengen said that in general, it is just a mixture of food, and the beauty of adulthood is a good thing after all. Nowadays, his sons are working outside, his grandchildren are all brought by him and his wife, plus he is also an age, not suitable for mixing outside, and now at home, using farm leisure time, giving people a matchmaking, I feel very satisfied with the current state of life.
In particular, when I said that it was a family affair, I didn't have to mention how happy I was, and I felt very fulfilled. Of course, income is also on the one hand, the most month, was during the Spring Festival last year, he said 7 family affairs, earned 14,000 yuan.
Uncle Ben Geng also said that at present, in the team of matchmakers, there are also "black sheep", some people under the guise of talking about the media, cheating everywhere to eat and drink, some people for a meal, together with other matchmakers to set up a bureau, as the saying goes, "can't succeed, three or two bottles", sit together to eat and drink a meal, before leaving each person also have to take two packs of cigarettes, all of a sudden let the owner spend nearly a thousand yuan, some single men are scared of such things, saying that they would rather beat a single stick than say media.
There are also some matchmakers, in order to promote a marriage, do not hesitate to "fake", such as saying that people in their nearly 40s are only in their early 30s, they do not know that the paper can not be wrapped in fire, and will eventually show the filling. The woman's parents looked at this and felt that the matchmaker was not honest enough, so they would not even let the girl's face be seen. There are also some people with a history of mental illness, and the matchmaker also deliberately conceals it, and I will not do such a harmful thing, no matter what.
…………………………………………
Nowadays, with the development of the situation, there are fewer and fewer rural matchmakers, and the popularity of the Internet has made free love a fashion, making many matchmakers lose their place of use. Men and women who are in love with each other are exempt from even finding a matchmaker to say that they are united and walk away.
It's just that in the era of the matchmaker's words, the family and marriage relationship were impenetrable. And the matchmaker's exit from the contemporary era where love is supreme, divorce and dissolution, but it is simple and casual to the point of throwing away a piece of clothing that you don't like. I really don't know how long Uncle Bengen's "matchmaking" business can last, but life is like this, making people powerless to resist.