Carnegie once said: The reason why people suffer is to pursue the wrong things. If you have carefully observed all sentient beings, you will find that this sentence is very philosophical.
From an early age, we are taught to be eloquent, to be able to talk, how to treat people and things, and it seems that those who can talk in front of everyone can be regarded as success. Therefore, many people work hard in this regard, no matter what the occasion and what situation, they try to make themselves the person who can control the whole scene.
Using all kinds of words to maintain the relationship and warm up the atmosphere is their mission that they think is indispensable, and no matter what scene, you seem to see him gushing and sharing.
In fact, such behavior is not very likable, and people who know what to say under what circumstances and what situations should be silent are often more intelligent than people who talk a lot at any time, and such people are generally very high-level and not simple.
One: Shut up when you encounter difficulties
There is often such a person in life, no matter what problems they encounter, every time they think about how to solve them, but complain to outsiders, it seems that by telling the world about these things, he can get the help he wants, and even establish his own honest personality.
Because the world will only be willing to let outsiders see his good side, but he thinks that he himself, whether it is a good or bad side, is willing to let outsiders see the behavior is a rare honesty, is a clear stream in the circle of friends, he will even be complacent about it.
In fact, those who know how to shut up when encountering difficulties, know how not to ask for help from others, and try to solve problems first are high enough. Because every time a problem is solved, it is also a kind of transformation and progress for him.
And knowing how not to reveal your difficulties to outsiders is even smarter, and the honesty you think is just giving others the opportunity to laugh at you in their hearts.
Human sorrow and joy are not the same, others will not feel empathy for you, and may only fall into the well.
Two: Shut up when you're looked down upon
A person whose heart is full enough and whose level is high enough will never be surprised by people's various evaluations. The so-called do not compete with the wise, do not argue with the villain, can suppress their temper is rare, when they are looked down upon to know how to shut up, it is difficult for many people to do, this level of open-mindedness is difficult for ordinary people to achieve.
In Doudou's book "The Distant Savior", when Ding Yuanying ate noodles at a noodle restaurant, the boss initially thought that he was a capable person and enthusiastically talked to him.
But after chatting, I found that Ding Yuanying was just an unemployed vagrant, and the boss gave a cold face on the spot, showing a look of disdain or even contempt.
Facing the ridicule of the owner of the restaurant, Ding Yuanying only smiled slightly and did not care, and continued to bury his head in the noodles after listening to it, unwilling to argue with him.
You don't have to let everyone understand you, you should know how many pounds you have. Others look down on you, even if you can fight with him, he will not admit how good you are, so it is better to save effort, why should you be a diehard in the eyes of others and upset yourself.
Three: Shut up when you're proud
In some aspects of the achievements, most people will choose to tell everyone about their excellence, in order to make others happy with him, let others know his ability.
This kind of sharing, even if it is well-intentioned, has an element of showing off in the eyes of others. On the surface, he praised your youth and had a promising future, and in his heart he longed for you to wrestle frequently behind you, and then come to him as a pitiful identity to complain.
Human nature is like this, the more proud you are, the more others will only look at you unhappy, so how to keep a low profile when you are proud is a subject that you should learn all your life.
There is a male colleague who is extremely sober, he won the crown last year, the commission was nearly a million, and he got such a good result, but he never revealed any details to outsiders, and his low profile was admirable.
In the face of human nature, we should all remain sober, after all, others will not sincerely wish you success, the better you live, the more you will attract jealousy, let people secretly have bad intentions. You're not having a good time, that's what most people want to see.
No matter what the occasion can speak the Tao, people are not necessarily very powerful, as the saying goes: three years to learn to speak, one year to learn to shut up. Only those who know how to shut up can be considered to have entered another level.
I hope that you and I are the ones who will shut up, not just talk about it and be disgusted.