Redeeming it after a breakup is a very painful thing. Just listening to the two words "redemption" has cast a thick shadow on people's hearts, making people's hearts depressed and breathless. Give some hope! At the very least, you can make yourself feel worthwhile to do the salvage.
However, some people will continue to pour cold water on themselves while doing things that they decide to save, so that others can't help but wonder whether you want to save your feelings or want to make yourself completely dead. Although you are heartbroken and physically and mentally miserable when you break up, since you have the heart to regain love, it is more or less to cheer yourself up. After all, love makes people smell like beautiful things, if the other party is facing a desperate you, how can you let him experience the beautiful happiness of love?
Some people emotionally redeem failures not because of how hard it is to lose to their own breakup, but how terrible it is to lose to themselves. Their own characteristics really help themselves at the fork in the road of life to subconsciously make a lot of choices that are not what they originally expected. Personality will not only determine your fate, but also determine your love, but also secretly determine who you will be with.
What kind of people are more terrible when it comes to saving feelings?
1. People who are too obsessed with it
People who fall into the trap of their own thinking and cannot come out, who cannot hear the inner voice of others, and who only want to carry out their own ideology to the end. It is what we often call "love to drill the tip of the bull's horn".
The biggest obstacle to this type of person's salvation is to change their habitual thinking and listen to their partner's voice, which you can understand as "smelly and hard stone" and "deaf and blind". People who are too obsessed with desire are very painful for their partners, and their partners are hurt in their hearts, they are completely invisible, and they will only use their own right and wrong standards to measure the problems encountered by their partners. This type of person is extremely lacking in empathy and will not be able to describe it.
In feelings, there is a big difference between a person who is obsessed with lust and a person who perseveres. The obsessive person does not know how to be flexible, likes to carry out what he thinks he likes to express to the end, even if the partner clearly states that he is hurt and does not like, he will continue to choose his stubborn way. The oppressive feeling of love of the obsessive person is obvious, and falling in love with him feels depressed, like tying a stone to carry the weight forward. Persevering people in love know how to be flexible, will constantly adjust their position and direction in the relationship, and will choose the way they treat their partners with changing eyes. The lover will feel the obvious warmth and happiness. At the same time, it is easy for lovers to learn from you who persevere and grow. This is the biggest difference between a person who is obsessed with it and a person who perseveres.
Obsessing over being tied to someone for a lifetime is not true love. People who know how to advance and retreat, and who are willing to let go for love, are not unloving, but love makes him understand that he should cherish it more.
2, people with a negative and pessimistic attitude
All lovers who meet a negative and pessimistic attitude will turn into withered flowers and quickly wither and grow old. The way to keep love forever young is to water each other's hearts with positive love. Who can live a lifetime with a negative, pessimistic and world-weary person? I think the answer for all people is no.
In the emotional redemption, the self-destructive salvage effect is all such people. The situation at the time of the breakup was not so bad, and the negative person pushed the other party into a desperate situation and forced it into an irrevocable separation. Send a message to the other party, 24 hours without replying to the conscious negative emotions, and even further insult the other party; the other party's "calm for a period of time" words, misinterpreted into the person who wants to break up; the other party and friends have a meal one day, hard to imagine as cheating dating. In short, in the eyes of pessimists, every move of the lover is an ominous omen and an inevitable move towards a breakup.
It is often asked to pessimistic negatives the question " If you think that all of these actions of your lover are bad and negative , why do you want to save him?" Wouldn't it be better to find someone else who would make him feel comfortable and not suffer from gains and losses! The pessimist replied, "It is precisely because of these actions made by his lover that he feels that it is not good, and it is a sign that he may break up with himself, so he has to spend so much effort to save it!" "But love is positive, it's beautiful!" You let your lover feel so negative and pessimistic, all day long into the negative emotions of gain and loss, how can he feel the beauty of love with you, how can he feel the warmth and happiness from you? "As long as he is completely saved and returned to my side, he will naturally be warm and happy and beautiful!"
This is the typical "pessimistic negative circle" in the redemption. Thinking can not jump out, the effect of redemption is naturally pessimistic and negative.
3, lazy, unwilling to change people
Sometimes it feels like lazy people really don't deserve to talk about love, and lazy people will eventually lose everything. Originally, the breakup was caused by the insurmountable problems encountered at a certain stage of the development of the relationship, and the redemption is the need to make changes, adjust the position and feelings of the feelings in order to continue the feelings.
The fundamental cause of the breakup determines that the redemption must be changed. Those who are vainly unwilling to change, who just want to maintain the old way, I think they can only pin their hopes on the invention of the time machine. After all, the love of the past time can only have that beautiful and warm feeling in the past time. Encountering a breakup shows that the past feelings have been cracked, and they need to be repaired in time to push the feelings to a better and higher stage.
And lazy people who don't want to change just indulge in the warmth of the past, but they don't know that this obsession with the past is enough to make them lose a piece of the future that could have been better and happier. Redemption requires you to change, every woman needs a different lover at different stages of life, and every man needs a different partner at different stages of life. People who don't change with age can only be a giant baby who has not grown up all the time. Unwilling to change on the basis of laziness can only be slowly buried in the soil and degenerated into "zombies".
Love needs change, and it is also the men and women who are diligent in maintaining feelings. Change is the only constant feature in a relationship.