Figure | True growth
Text | Miki porridge
What makes it to succeed in educating a child?
01
A five-year-old child who takes a history book as a toy, goes all the way to the niu school to enter the six small strong, and finally enters Peking University Guanghua, one of the most popular departments in China's top schools.
Most people think, count.
You may even question in passing, are you a little confused to be able to ask this question?
Peking University recruits more than 2,000 people nationwide every year, including guarantees, and the offer is two out of 10 million college entrance examinations, and the dragon and phoenix in the individual, how can it still be considered a success?
If admission to North University In Economics is ending, of course, that's right. But, is it?
A small town as a subject, silent and rare, talking to people are afraid to look directly and keep brushing their hair. Learning is not afraid of difficulties or hardships, and it is afraid that no one will take care of them. Without the teacher's urgent attention, reading is like losing the last straw.
And that's not all. The poor and boring teenager made her learn to give in, and the gap with other people's families brought about inferiority. There are no more ideas than to bury your head in hard reading. Finally admitted to the first economic and trade, is this a kind of success?
Most people think, it doesn't count.
Will you still feel that this is not the legendary Hengshui sequelae? What is the value of such a life without ambitions and ideals for society, just reading purely for the sake of finding a job?
If finding a job is the end of the struggle, that's right. But, is it?
Also, the middle-class second generation, teenagers do not know the taste of sorrow. Life is good, family is happy, appearance is ordinary, and achievements are ordinary. Even the troubles are as "confused about the future" as their peers, and there is nothing special about them.
Not bad money, so the personality is competitive, choose their own is not good at but others may praise a smart science, but in front of the "science" that they once longed for.
She stumbled all the way, stumbled and stumbled, and finally wrote novels, made movies to complete her redemption, brushed the SAT, and finally applied to the target school, the New York Film School. Is this a success?
Judging from the results, it seems to be a success. Ideals are realized, and under the blessing of wealth, they are free to do what they like.
If doing what you love is success, that's right. But, is it?
02
At Haidian Liuqiang School, three different family choices bring three different lives to children.
That's the story told in the documentary "Real Growth."
At the age of five, zhou Ziqi, a second-generation kochi who read history, was full of critical thinking, a troublemaker who caused trouble everywhere, and lived like a high school child that many elite parents liked.
On the first day of entering the eleventh school, he debated with the teacher about the rationality of military training, and when he did not get a satisfactory reply, he wrote a letter of 10,000 words and went directly to the principal, and finally won the "welfare" of the military training for the high school for two days.
That year, he was only 15 years old, full of spirits, talking about Locke, public will and human nature.
Participate in student cabinets and debates, be passionate about being a ripper, and change the environment on your own. Even the history teacher told the truth after drinking, saying that my student was very good, and he could change the price of the canteen.
At the age of 15, he described the ideal in the words of Zhang Hengqu, the great Confucian of the Song Dynasty: "Establish a heart for heaven and earth, establish a destiny for the people, continue to learn from the saints, and open up peace for all the worlds."
Sigh, every step is stepped on the advanced drum beat.
Reading is also not ambiguous, although the enthusiasm for games and still do not hand in homework, the final mock exam still won the first place in the whole grade of liberal arts.
All the way into Peking University, read Peking University Guanghua, not the history department he has loved since he was five years old. Because the score of the test is low, it satisfies the will of the parents.
Life in Peking University Guanghua was a disillusionment for him, and four years of time only allowed him to discover:
After all, I am an ordinary person.
After graduating from university, he went to the University of Chicago to study. The thorn-headed teenager who once bravely challenged everything could only be drowned in the streets of the United States by the mediocre crowd and talk about stocks.
Was it successful? I really don't think so.
Peking University to Chicago, or economics, there is no more beautiful than this resume. But behind the resume is the sentimentality of a "successful youth" who compromises with the world.
However, there is no solution to this.
Because of a good job, it satisfies Kochi's parents- who complete the small town of class crossing by reading, and all the imaginations of success:
Can reading history make money? The history of Peking University, compared with Peking University Yuanpei and Peking University Guanghua, which is better to hear and more beautiful?
Most importantly, Zhou Ziqi acquiesced to this theory, and he made a compromise on the general success science. Probably from now on, there will be one less famous historian in the world and one more mediocre banking employee.
03
A new generation of small town writer Li Wenting, a high school student transferred from Shanxi Datong to the eleventh school, she did not pay attention to anything but learning.
In the education system of the previous third-tier cities, no one taught her what sense of social responsibility and sustainable development, only brush exams, change her fate with further education, go to a good university in the future, find a good job, and end.
Therefore, even if she entered the Haidian Liu Xiaoqiang, she did not participate in any activities, and implicitly opposed the student cabinet's fight for the price of the canteen, "We should adapt, not provoke."
A typical good citizen created by 95% of the schools in China's system has no critical thinking, and even lacks his own independent thinking, and it is best to have a teacher stare at reading, so that he seems to be angry and strong.
My parents were not literate, one was a railroad worker, and the other was a daily householder. Learning can't help, and there is no deep understanding or the ideal of Hongda. Her mother's greatest expectation for her was nothing more than to become a doctor.
Iron rice bowl, good job. Others, gone.
Such a family is also very good, I grew up in this environment. Without the help of her parents, nor did she have to be swayed by the thoughts of the previous generation, she could freely choose her way out, and finally she was admitted to the first economic and trade actuarial department.
Actuary, graduated with a starting salary of 150,000 yuan and an annual salary of more than 600,000 yuan in eight years.
Unsuccessful?
I think Li Wenting is more successful than Zhou Ziqi because she is not entangled. A person who doesn't have too many ideas of his own, who doesn't have an interest in making money that contradicts making money, is a stumbling block in life, and everything is logical.
Maybe you can't change the world, that's not what an ordinary person like me can do, but you can change yourself.
Learning some sexy dances at school, her father asked her to buy wine, but she refused, which was a kind of rebellion of the good people.
At the same time, she learned actuarial science to improve the life of the whole family. Isn't that a success and what is it?
Li Wenting, who is studying in college, is very determined and confident, she can see the road under her feet clearly, it is not illusory, and there is no need to struggle between me and me.
Perhaps, the success of education is so cheesy.
But at least, the unity of knowledge and action has been achieved.
04
The last one, the middle-class second generation Chen Chuqiao, is like the child you have painstakingly cultivated.
Going to the best school, eating organic vegetables, and wanting anything can be met in time, so there is no goal and no interest, and everything is too easy to get.
Dazed and calmly reading high school, the biggest confusion in life is what I want to do.
Chen Chuqiao has no interest in changing the world and does not want to participate in school affairs, which does not mean that she does not have ideas, but is too thoughtful, but just chose "don't".
Therefore, her high school life has been looking for her own "love", like history to Zhou Ziqi.
But didn't find it. Also because quantum mechanics and the cosmic explosion are cool, I chose science at random, and found that others wrote mathematics in half an hour, physics in half an hour, and they were still cutting a few problems.
As a scum in Haidian Liu Xiaoqiang, she was not willing to have a mine at home, so she continued to think wildly until she wrote an award-winning novel, only to find out that what she liked was art and literature.
But she was studying at the International Department of the Eleventh School, the Four Heavenly Kings School, and the offer of the Harvest Vines School to the top universities.
This means that reading books requires superhuman effort. Domestic and international two sets of courses on the double track, originally the study is busy, Chen Chuqiao also for the filming of micro-films, writing scripts, borrowing props, running to the teacher to pull sponsorship.
With a goal, she got rid of the confusion and even went crazy to brush up the scores of an ideal school.
It's Gu Ailing-style love, I suppose, so I do.
No reason is required. Maybe one day I'll give up, just because I don't want to do it, even if I'm an Olympic champion? At the moment, I am happy.
I know, what I want.
05
So, did you find out? Exhausting all efforts to buy school district houses, sending children to top schools, becoming an encyclopedia of tutoring classes, and finally deciding the fate is the vision of parents.
The title of the film is "Free Growth", how much freedom can there be?
Kochi, who came out of the town as a problem maker, because he was poor, so it was inevitable to let the children get ahead, find a job that was easier to make money, and choose IQ to directly realize.
From childhood to adulthood, these young people have struggled for the dazzling ring of prestigious schools. And in this process, the purpose of life and the love of the heart have never been given enough respect, never thought about and explored.
These excellent students have been indoctrinated with a kind of "want to be higher than the heavenly examination" during their studies, and have been taught to have the confidence of "as long as they want to do it, they can do it", but in the end, most of them still choose to engage in some extremely similar things, and many other possibilities disappear in front of their eyes.
No matter how top schools, no matter how good educational resources, no matter how good teachers, they can only give them the freedom and encouragement of high school, and they are unable to interfere with the socialized family choices outside the campus.
Moreover, the better the high school edge is protected, the stronger the frustration will be when you step out of the comfort zone.
Zhou Ziqi's abandonment of history also made the teachers of the school reflect:
As a teacher, no matter how well you teach, if you don't have a little social feeling, it is nothing more than to provide further education services for the descendants of the middle class.
For a family like Zhou Ziqi, it is really a service for further education. He is probably going to become a sample of Peking University graduates, returning to mediocrity.
Chen Chuqiao was probably the opposite of him, and her parents almost unconditionally supported her everything.
Embracing her bland studies, protecting her self-awareness and reflection, providing her with material backing, giving her enough space to make her own choices.
Stumbling all the way, parents standing by, can you find your own direction?
I want to study science, good; engage in writing, go to film school, good.
Her parents wouldn't ask, can you get a job? Does this profession earn money?
Chen Chuqiao also ran into a wall after graduation, and the reality was "not quite what I thought." But her dad just casually asked, is it also drinking outside?
When you hit a wall, you can touch it, and when you lose, you will know how to win. Parents who eventually achieve middle-class success in society are more confident: it may be because they have money. It may also be a better understanding of the uncertainty of the future, why stipulate the destination of the child?
The ultimate destination of life usually exists in the search for no purpose.
Maugham's "The Moon and Sixpence", when a stockbroker repeats his banking work day after day, will not know that one day he will abandon his wife and son to paint, and he will die in a foreign country...
Behind him, he changed the history of painting and set off a monstrous wave in the literary and artistic world.
06
There was a high mother in the group who told an interesting story.
I had dinner with an American friend last weekend and chatted about my children's hobbies and college majors.
She gossiped that she was a boy she had dated, who was very smart, so she read harvard's doctorate from Medical School (the most difficult test in the world at Harvard Medical School). But see him the other day and guess what he's doing?
Now I don't do medicine anymore, I work full-time as a carpenter!
She said that some children who used to envy the promotion of the intermediary knew what they wanted to do in the future in the first year of high school, and then followed the steps planned by the intermediary.
Their own children, like headless flies, like this and tomorrow like that, there is no definite number.
Listening to my friend's gossip today, I felt that it was not too late to let her go and find her true love.
So, what kind of parenting is considered success?
I don't have a standard answer.
But if I were Zhou Ziqi, even if I became a civil servant in the future, I would write "Those Things of the Ming Dynasty".
Life can have detours, but there is no need for regret embellishment.