There is a girl in "The Boy Says" who calls out to her mother and says that she doesn't want to take another guzheng class.
The little girl said that she liked the guzheng at first, but since her mother enrolled her in classes and urged her to practice and take the exam every day, she felt very tired, stressed, and wanted to give up.
My mother persuaded: "You have reached level 7, and you will soon reach level 8, don't you feel sorry that you are giving up now?" Guzheng is your own choice, you must stick to the end, can not give up halfway. When mom was a child, there was no such condition, and you should cherish it..."
If you have a baby in the family who goes to an interest class, you may encounter this problem:
The child is halfway through the interest class and says he doesn't like it, so don't go.
Some parents feel that they should respect their children's opinions and do not want to go up.
Some parents think that children always give up halfway like this! When Lang Lang and Jay Chou were young, weren't they all forced to learn by their parents?
As a parent, what should I do?
01、
Before answering this question, parents must first figure out three questions, do you want your child to go to this specialty? Do you want him to use this as a profession in the future? Does the child have this talent?
If the answer to these three questions is yes, then you need to go to the "chicken" in a serious way, find the best teacher for the child, and practice more than four times a week is definitely indispensable.
Because the path of special students is actually not easy.
Many people only see the brilliance that can drop a few hundred points when they take the college entrance examination, but they don't see the bitterness behind the special students.
It takes a long, long time to turn an interest into a real specialty.
In addition, the investment of money is also indispensable.
According to statistics, those who really embark on the road of special students do not account for more than 5%, compared with ordinary college students, this is the real one-wood bridge.
In addition, whether the child has talent or not, it is not up to you to decide, nor is it the training class teacher to decide, it is best to find an authoritative teacher in this field to evaluate it.
If you are not running to the special students, then you don't have to be so real, the standard can be appropriately lowered, and the pace can be slower.
Of course, although the interest class as an "interest" can be a little Buddhist, but the interest class can not be completely by the child, like it, do not like it, unless you are really rich.
02. How to help your child maintain his interest?
If a child wants to give up, it is easy to give the reason that "I don't like it anymore".
But the child's dislike, many times is not entirely because of the matter itself, may be because of dislike of the teacher, feel difficult, boring, tired, or not very valued in the class and so on.
"Don't like it, don't interest it", in the end, there is no motivation to do it.
Two famous American psychologists Edward L. Deci and Richard Ryan have been working on people's motivations. And in 1970 proposed "self-determinism".
This theory points out that whether people can continue to have the motivation to do something depends mainly on whether they meet three major psychological needs at the same time:
· Sense of autonomy
· Sense of competence
· Sense of need
In the matter of interest classes, whether children can continue to maintain interest is actually based on these three points:
1, whether there is a sense of autonomy to satisfy the child
Before applying for an interest class, give the child the opportunity to fully experience it, and then report it to the child when he likes it and wants to learn.
Rather than parental wishful thinking and one-handed arrangement.
In this way, the child has no sense of autonomy, and it is normal to give up.
In addition, if the child is put too much pressure during the class, it will also make him lose his "sense of autonomy".
2, whether there is a sense of satisfaction with the child's sense of competence
The sense of competence, to put it bluntly, is that the child feels that "I can do it" and "I can".
If the child feels that the task is too difficult for her, the sense of competence will be greatly reduced, and the idea of withdrawing will arise.
Just like the little girl mentioned at the beginning, the reason why she didn't want to learn guzheng was probably that she encountered difficulties in the process of practicing and was under great pressure.
At this time, parents are not blindly forcing their children to insist on it, but to help their children decompose tasks and set a reasonable goal so that she can complete it.
Parents can also communicate with teachers, let teachers encourage children more, and praise her more when she is doing well, so that she can find a sense of competence again.
3, there is no sense of satisfaction of children's needs
The mother at the beginning of the article, she thinks that the examination is very important, persistence is very important, she has provided opportunities for her children, and the children should cherish them, although these are all good intentions, but that is only the things that the mother thinks is important, it is the needs of the mother.
The child may not understand, and these are not her needs.
It is useless to preach, and this mother should find a way to make her child need it on her own.
For example, talk to the child about why she liked the guzheng in the first place, and if the child has a teacher who worships the guzheng, he can also bring out the teacher's story to stimulate the child's own needs.
In summary, when a child says that he does not want to learn, the first time we do not consider that he is not interested, but to see which of his needs have not been met?
In this way, it is fundamentally possible to help the child to continue his interest.
Of course, if the child really does not want to go once or twice, give him the right to pause and rest, while encouraging him and waiting for him, it is also a good choice.
After all, rigid is easy to fold, soft is long-lasting. Take your time, it's actually faster.
Pay attention to the excellent parents growth camp, and do not get confused on the road to parenting