I believe that everyone has more or less seen similar "overbearing president-style quotations" on the Internet.
"I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel"
"Listen to me, I don't care what you think, I have to listen to me"
"I don't think it's a problem, it's your problem and you have to fix it"
Maybe you will sigh "how can someone be so self-centered, how can he be so heavy on me"! Don't laugh at him, why don't the problems you see manifest themselves in ourselves?
In intimate relationships, if you can use wisdom to dilute yourself, you will reduce a lot of contradictions and the relationship will be much more harmonious.
Getting along with partners, it is not a good thing that I am too heavy. Sometimes the triviality of the process of getting along can easily break the feelings of the two people, and many times it is because I am too heavy. Some people said that they had quarreled with their wives because of eating a fruit, one wanted to eat durian in the living room, and the other did not let him eat in the living room. Then, "You don't say you love me, why don't you want to change for me even this little thing?"
When you take yourself as the center, there will always be endless quarrels and troubles, change your concept, change your perspective, listen carefully to each other's ideas, and strive to reach a consensus with each other; if you can't reach a consensus, don't cling to your own point of view, so the effect is better.
The relationship between parents and children is just like the line and the kite, the line hopes to pull the kite, the kite wants to break free of the shackles of the line, the line is too tight, the line will break, the line will be too loose, and the kite will be lost.
It is not a good thing for parents and children to get along with each other, and it is not a good thing for me to be too heavy. Many parents often impose their ideas on their children, "AI intelligence is now very hot, give you a programming course this semester", "you hurry to find a serious job, being a civil servant and a teacher is not quite good", "Thirty or so, it is time to find someone to marry." ”......
In fact, all the "I think" and "I feel" are not necessarily suitable for each other. Most of us Chinese parents are influenced by the traditional concept that "children are dependent on their parents, and parents are dependent on their children". In fact, we always have to understand that we are independent individuals. Whether it is a parent or a child, it is too heavy, which is easy to cause the other party's resistance and create obstacles to smooth communication between the two sides.
Getting along with each other often requires letting go of their obsessions.