During the lunch break, chat with friends, talk about the nicknames of childhood, silly boy and stupid are honored on the list, worthy of the common childhood nightmare of the post-80s and post-90s.
A fierce sister summed up the statement: "Now whoever dares to say that my family is 'stupid', I will be anxious with whom." No one in the family can do it, and for this matter, I also had a fight with my mother-in-law. ”
The concept of our parents' generation is to give their children a lowly nickname to support. After becoming parents, we are particularly sensitive to words like "stupid" and "stupid".
We can't help but firmly believe: "How smart my family is, the material of Tsinghua Peking University, at least in the future, we can go to 985 and 211." "The ideal is beautiful, but the reality is a little cruel. Many parents inadvertently some behaviors or habits are pushing their babies into the situation of "becoming stupid", but they do not know it.
Today C Mom will give you a summary and combing, to give everyone a wake-up call! A total of four educational behaviors, four parenting habits, hurry up and compare it. Four types of educational behaviors that make babies stupid
American early childhood educator Kaitz proposed a concept of "habitual stupidity". He found that many children in the process of growing up, due to the influence of external factors, gradually develop doubts about their own ability, and then lack of self-confidence and gradually fall into a state of impotence, and then become more and more "lazy" and more "stupid". The external influencing factors here, the parents' education methods account for a large proportion.
First, label your child negatively
When we were young, we were given some nicknames of "stupid and stupid" by our parents, which was a negative label. Now, although many parents will not directly give up nicknames, there are still many people who will say: "You see people Xiaoming, how polite!" "So simple, how can you not learn?" "I've said it several times, but I still can't remember it!" The original intention of parents is to motivate their children and make them better, but the subtext that children get from them is: "You can't do this, you can't do that."
If your baby faces fresh challenges and difficulties, always say, I can't do it, I won't. Then we must be careful, is it a dark child who is usually always negative? Repeatedly reinforced by being accepted and accepted by the child again and again, "I am poor" will become the child's belief, and his behavior will slowly move closer to this negative belief, becoming the "stupid look" in the mouth of the parents.
Second, limit children's play
Many parents raise children according to the standards of quiet, well-behaved, gentle, they believe that such children are called "educated".
There are also some parents who think that their children's safety is greater than the sky, and they have all their energy to stare at their children: "This can't move, dangerous", "There can't go, danger". As everyone knows, free crazy play is very important for children.
Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, conducted an experiment in which scientists divided the mice into two groups, the first of which was free to play and the second of which was restricted from playing. After that, a collar with a cat smell was placed into their field of activity, and they all quickly fled and hid.
The difference is that the first group quickly came out tentatively, while the second group never came out again. Brown emphasizes that play can bring more positive emotions and attitudes to life to animals, including mice. Animals that are deprived of the right to play will have a serious impact on the functional development of the brain and will be more susceptible to negative emotions.
Troublemaking and destruction is the nature of children, seemingly no nutritious play process, children will exercise concentration in thinking about how to play, will accumulate resistance in the process of failure, will accumulate life experience in the actual hands-on, will vent emotions in an unconstrained environment, and will exercise a variety of skills that you want to get and can't think of.
Restricting children to play, children become well-behaved at the same time, but also become dull, is very much worth the loss.
It is better to let the child indulge in unbridled under the premise of ensuring safety.
Third, frequently interrupt the child
We had a grandmother downstairs who often advertised herself as responsible for watching the children:
"I'm not going to let my child out of my sight, even for a minute." This practice is responsible, but it is also worrying. When playing together, the child just picked up a toy, she immediately said: "This dirty, I will wipe it for you", and after wiping it, she said: "Hungry?" Thirsty? Need help? "Children rarely have a chance to do something alone and focused, which can easily lead to distraction and poor concentration.
After going to school, it is easy to be unable to concentrate, and concentration cannot be cultivated overnight, and slowly it will become a "stupid child" in the mouth of teachers and classmates. What should be the best way for parents to deal with it?
When the child is focused on doing something, when it is time to be invisible, it is invisible, do not speak, do not interrupt, patiently wait for the child to finish, and then react when the child takes the initiative to ask for help.
Fourth, excessively suppress the child's emotions
"You're a boy, crying like something",
"You're a big kid, and this little thing is worth crying", "How big a deal, how to lose your temper again." Do these words sound familiar? Many parents are very sensitive to their children's negative emotions, and once the child has bad emotions such as irritability, sadness, and upset, they will intervene in the first time and use simple and rough methods (including but not limited to reasoning, tantrums, and touching) to help the child escape quickly.
In fact, feeling one's emotions is a journey of self-discovery. The child is deprived of this opportunity, and the bad emotions are not released, but accumulate more and more inside.
We all know that when the mood is good, even the efficiency of doing things is high, but if the child feels that his living environment is unstable and unsafe, under the squeeze of various negative emotions, his brain will not be able to think well, and he will not be able to relax to do things. For example, everything is afraid of the end, can not raise interest, the performance is what we often call "clumsy".
Four parenting habits that make babies stupid
Julie Lythcott-Haims of Stanford University in the United States, also a well-known educator, revealed in a speech that after 75 years of research at Harvard University, he found that children's IQ development is more affected by family habits, and if they are contaminated with "bad habits", smart children may become more and more stupid.
First, do not pay attention to the child's breakfast
Many children will get up in the morning to say "no appetite, do not want to eat breakfast", parents are in a hurry to work, but also lazy to toss, simply let the child casually make up two bites. Some families have the same soy milk fritters for thousands of years, and some families will casually give their children a bread and drink milk.
Convenient is convenient, but it is not conducive to the development of children's brains. With a little calculation, we can see that breakfast is at least 8 hours apart from the last meal, and when we wake up in the morning, the brain is in a state of "hunger". And children are in a critical period of brain and intellectual development, breakfast nutrition is not available, their intellectual development will also be affected.
Breakfast should not only be eaten, but also nutritionally balanced. Your child's nutritious breakfast should include high-quality protein, plenty of carbohydrates, moderate amounts of lipids, and dark vegetables.
Special reminder, fried food, barbecue, junk food containing trans fatty acids, will affect the child's brain development, eat too much, the child's memory, reaction will be affected, can not eat as much as possible to the child to eat.
Second, indulge your child to eat too much sweets
Many people know that children eat too much sweets will rot their teeth and become obese, but many people do not know how the child's body will change after eating sugar.
Scientific research has found that after ingesting a large amount of sugar, the body will develop insulin resistance, and when the cells in the hippocampus, the area where the brain is responsible for memory, also produce insulin resistance, learning and memory will become very low.
A 2018 study by basel University in Switzerland also found that consuming foods high in sugar and calories degraded cognitive function, including the ability to think rationally. Over time, cognitive function is impaired, including: language ability, rational thinking, attention, abstract judgment, mathematical computing, and expression ability.
Not only should you not let your child eat too much sweets, but you should also be careful not to keep your child full. Now many places are home online classes, babies at home, a moment to eat some snacks, a moment to eat a few pieces of fruit.
But if you keep eating too much food, the blood and oxygen in your body need to be transferred from the brain to the digestive tract all the time, and the brain will be temporarily ischemic. If you are in a state of oversatisity, the brain is always ischemic, which will affect the child's brain development.
The third is to use electronic products as a coaxing artifact
When children are unhappy or always make trouble, when parents want to clean up for a while or want to do their own things for a while, many people will sacrifice the artifact of "mobile phone".
The mobile phone is in hand, the world is immediately quiet, but what are the consequences? The National Institutes of Health study showed that children who looked at screens for more than two hours a day scored lower on thinking and language tests. Playing games and brushing short videos, the happiness children get is a typical "garbage happiness". On the one hand, "garbage happiness" will make children addicted, on the other hand, it will make children's learning ability and thinking ability decline sharply.
Especially after entering the primary school stage, the more addicted the child is to mobile phones, the more he will become willing, lazy and bored with school, the brain will slowly "rust", and people will become more and more "stupid".
About watching videos, we have written this article specifically, and those who have not watched can make up lessons: "Mom, I want to play with mobile phones", help children quit mobile phones, short videos, these methods at first I did not believe ""
The fourth child has chronic sleep deprivation
This believes that there is no need for C mom to say more, daily reminders of those late sleep babies! Go to bed early!
Give up the struggle, being a parent is a chore. For the sake of children's physical and mental health and a better future, it is necessary for us to restrain our bad emotions and behavior habits, and create a positive, healthy and positive growth environment for children.
In fact, it is not difficult to do this, many of the above articles, I believe many friends have done it. Let's remind each other and keep up the good work.