Yesterday, a Boeing 737 carrying 132 people on China Eastern Airlines crashed in Tengxian County, Guangxi Province, causing a wildfire.
One by one, aircraft debris was found, rescue teams rushed closer, and time rushed to kill. All netizens are heartbroken by this and silently pray for more news of survivors.
Screenshot of China Eastern Airlines Weibo
However, seeing the situation of the wreckage of the aircraft at the scene, everyone may have such a negative but objective guess in their hearts:
In the following time, the victims will become cold digital presentations.
These passengers, probably mom and dad, sons and daughters. Before getting on the plane, they may have sent a very ordinary "call you when you land." Only this moment, for loved ones, has become a faint hope .
(Image from the Internet)
Xi Murong said in "Little Red Gate": "The most cruel part of time is that you think that the days are like this, and the people you saw yesterday can see you tomorrow."
But there will be a time when you let go and turn around, after you say goodbye, really, never again. ”
Adults can't afford such bereavement, but what about children? How can children, as usual, expect their parents to return on time, understand such a sad reality when things change?
In Chinese education, the link of death education is often lacking. However, life is too impermanent, and tomorrow and accidents really don't know who will come first.
Maybe through this incident, we can sit down with our children and talk about death.
01
What does "death" look like in a child's eyes?
Psychologist Najib has studied the "concept of death" of hundreds of children, divided into three different modes of conceptual development at different ages:
At the age of 3-5, the child will think that death is reversible, it is simply a kind of leaving, and the future dead life will come back.
And 5-9 years old children, feel that only those who are captured by death will really die, like heroes, special people, can fight death and survive.
Children over the age of 9 can probably understand that death is inevitable and widespread.
In addition to Najib's research, many educationalists have found that children around the age of four have the concept of death. As for death, children are actually full of doubts and anxiety.
In one episode of "Where Did Daddy Go 3", several dad guests disguised themselves as adults, which stimulated the children's death and separation anxieties.
For children, how to accept the departure of their familiar lives is an important topic.
Zhang Shumei, a doctor of education in Taiwan, said in "The Concept and Implementation of Children's Life and Death Education": "If adults do not have the correct guidance, children are prone to have wrong perceptions of death, which in turn produces negative emotions and affects life. ”
In fact, the extent to which a child can understand and accept death is to fear life.
02
The more one avoids the discussion of "death," the more ignorant the child becomes
Ma Dong once said in "Strange Story": "Facing the matter of life and death is a lesson that all of us in Han culture miss." ”
"Southern Metropolis Daily" once did such a survey: among the 300 sample parents, only 13.6% of them would seriously answer their children's questions about death, and more than 60% of parents would feel that the problem was heavy and embarrassing, and chose to avoid it.
However, covering up will make children misunderstand death and even practice it in a childlike manner.
Previously, an 11-year-old brother in Handan jumped off the building with his sister in order to prove the resurrection plot of the game.
The two jumped from the fourth floor and were seriously injured and admitted to the hospital. The children were physically and mentally traumatized, and after 4 critical illness notifications, they realized:
Life is only once, and a person cannot be resurrected after death.
In addition to curiosity, children may also have fear because of their vague perception of death.
Parents are secretive, and the presentation of death in the film and television works that children are exposed to is repressive and terrifying, which will make children subconsciously bind death and the devil together and become timid.
How can such a child accept every loss in life?
03
Make up a life education class with your child
Parenting expert Zhang Xuefeng said:
"Life education should be carried out as soon as possible, so that children can face death correctly and understand the meaning of life and death before they can understand the cherishing of all things in the world."
Deeply. Giving children a life education lesson can lead children to think more deeply and inject strength into their own growth and strength.
To help children understand life and death, we can start from the following points:
Identify with your child's grief and fear of death
If the child has just experienced a life and death parting, parents must accompany the child in addition to comforting and guide them to vent their emotions.
At the same time, children may be confused about death, and parents need to explain why life is leaving.
For example: "Baby, the dog is old, like the electricity of life has run out." It left us, but you still have a lot of good memories and it, right? ”
Not only that, but parents also have to discuss the length of life with their children. Because in the face of sudden separation, children are more concerned about their parents, whether they will suddenly leave like this.
So we need to tell our children like this, so that they understand that life is only once and is very precious. And Mom and Dad will still accompany and support you for a long time.
Choose the right ceremony and let your child say goodbye
We need to guide children to do a farewell ceremony for the deceased, let them sort out their emotions and understand:
Death is the disappearance of life, but it is not the separation of love.
We must be grateful for the past experience, and at the same time, with the expectation and strength of the deceased, cherish the present and live stronger.
3. Choose some works of life education to strengthen children's understanding of life
Finally, we can also help children understand death through some films, television and literature.
For example, the movie "Dream Quest" tells children in a warm way: death is a supplement to life, and it is also a part of life.
There are also real literature "Lost Train", "Mother's Star Stone Island", "Wishing Globe" and so on, all of which are gentle and powerful life education series works.
For older children, reading and discussing with mom and dad is also an effective way to educate life.
Zhou Guoping said in the book "The Distance of Watching": "Life cannot be overcome, it is a temporary gift that luckily falls on our hands, sooner or later, we must return it." ”
Life is a valuable journey. Death is the disappearance of the body, but love does not go far. I hope that every child can calmly accept the departure of life and live the present moment with no regrets.
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