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01
Yesterday, it was the first seven sacrifices of the mu5735 crash of China Eastern Airlines.
Seven days have passed, and I am like you reading articles on your phone, paying attention to the news every day. But today, for the first time, I made up my mind to write an article about it.
Say it badly because of sadness or because of anger.
I think a more accurate word should be called compassion.
You may have heard the cause of the incident.
A girl named Xiaoyue (pseudonym) posted a video commemorating her aunt on her Douyin account, which has no more than a thousand fans.
As you might expect, her sister-in-law is one of the 132 people on MU5735.
The content of the video is the circle of friends of the aunt before she died, as well as the chat records of herself and her aunt.
"What kind of end point is worthy of the chase and rush along the way."
The sister-in-law's life died in the blue sky, but under the blue sky, she still had her family, and there were many, many thoughts about her, and sadness that was difficult to let go for a long time.
So, there was the video of Xiao Yue.
A living person's remembrance of a loved one who has passed away.
All this, originally beyond reproach, was not disturbed, and then slowly faded with time.
Until a group of people in the name of justice rushed in.
Scolded her for rubbing heat, satirized her vibrato to keep filial piety.
The internet violence intensified, and satire and insults filled the comment section and private messages.
Xiao Yue was overwhelmed, deleted the video, and then posted a public apology letter.
"In this life, my sister-in-law loves others more than herself." But because of the epidemic, "we can't kiss her ashes or go to the ruins to mourn." ”
02
On the one hand, there is the pain of the bereaved, and on the other hand, there is the sneer of those who stay out of the matter.
This scene is difficult not to remind people of a scene written by Lu Xun.
"Downstairs a man was dying of illness, and the family next door was singing a gramophone, and the opposite was a child. Upstairs there were two people laughing wildly and playing cards. On a boat in the river, there were women crying about her dead mother.
The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same, I just think they are noisy. ”
I remember a report in People magazine when the crash first occurred, "People on Flight MU5735."
The story has now been deleted because of complaints from too many people.
It is said that it consumes tragedy, exposes privacy, and eats human blood steamed buns for the sake of traffic.
But also in the comments section of this article, another voice, there are also 11,000 likes and approvals.
"Thanks to the people, let 132 no longer be just as monotonous and cold as the Arabic numerals, and someone has to expand and extend this 132." In this way, we know that everyone is born ordinary but not ordinary. ”
See?
In the same report, some people think that it is a steamed bun that eats human blood, and some people think that it is a biography for ordinary people.
The same video, some people think it is to remember relatives, some people think that it is for the purpose of traffic consumption of the deceased.
In this world, there is no empathy in the first place.
You have a thousand arrows through your heart, you do not want to die, and it is only your own business.
Others may sympathize, they may sigh, but it will never be clear to what extent your wounds are festering.
And the cheapest of them is a group of people who are on the sidelines, standing on the moral high ground holding up the keyboard, rolling in the tragedy of others, and judging the lives of others at will.
The more righteous they are, the more they show that they have nothing to do with themselves.
03
In the early years, when I was still a newspaper reporter, I used to write film criticism columns for some channels part-time.
There was a movie that I watched many times, "Big Buddha Plus," and there was a line in it that said:
"It's the space age, and humans can reach the moon on a spaceship, but they can never explore the universe inside others."
You may have forgotten that March 26, the day before MU5735's first seven sacrifices for the victims, was also The Day of Haizi's death.
On this day 33 years ago, he committed suicide at Shanhaiguan and chose to lie on the rail.
Have you ever thought that Tagore, who wrote "The world kisses me with pain, I will repay it with a song", will not commit suicide;
Lu Yao, who wrote "Know that the roads of spring are still full of mud," will not commit suicide.
But Maupassant, who writes, "You must understand that a person's life will not be as good as we think, nor as bad as we believe" will commit suicide;
Haizi, who wrote such a warm poem as "Facing the sea, spring is warm and blossoming" for generations, will commit suicide.
We all have moments like this:
At a certain moment, there was obviously a tsunami in his heart, but quietly, he did not let anyone know.
Even if someone asks, it is just an understatement to reply, "It's okay, I'm fine", and even forget to attach a smiley emoji.
You say you have depression, but people say:
"Only people who are idle and have nothing to do are kung fu depressed."
You said that housewives are also tired, but your husband said:
"Am I tired from work?"
You often work overtime until the early hours of the morning to get home, but the neighbor says:
"I envy you, I can sleep until noon."
The world is like this, everyone is born differently, experiences are different, so the position is different, the focus is different.
Most of the time, the earth-shattering tsunami inside us is just a ripple in the eyes of others that blows with the wind.
That's why there's that monologue that's remembered by countless people:
"Our hearts, our flesh grows in each man's own body, sour, sweet, bitter and spicy, and the taste of our own taste is only understood by ourselves. Don't pin your hopes on others, don't ask others to understand your feelings, and it's a waste of effort to shout louder."
04
After the Mu5735 air disaster of China Eastern Airlines, I remembered the JAL 123 air disaster in 1985.
It's the Obon Festival in Japan, and flights are not only full, but there are even many parents with babies who don't occupy seats.
Therefore, that air crash was also the largest number of people killed in the crash of a single plane in history.
Luckily in the midst of misfortune, the air crash, there are 4 people who survived.
Moving is a follow-up story of the air crash.
On the plane at that time, there was a 5-year-old boy who was alone in the plane and unfortunately did not survive.
When the news of the air crash came, the boy's mother was very sad and blamed herself.
Because she personally sent the child to the plane, she felt that she personally sent the child to the road to death.
The thought of the half-hours from takeoff to crash of the plane, the 5-year-old son, in a completely stranger's environment, was helpless.
Perhaps other children can hide in their mother's arms, while their own sons can only panic alone, and grief will come like a sea of mountains, unable to get rid of them for a long time.
Until one day, she received a phone call from Shikoku Island.
On the other end of the phone, there was also a woman's voice.
The woman asked her, is your son in a row of certain seats in the plane?
She replied, yes.
The woman went on to say that my daughter was also on the plane and was sitting next to your son. My daughter is a very gentle and kind person, so rest assured that your son is not alone in the last minute.
In "Kill a Mockingbird", there is a sentence:
You can never really get to know a man unless you walk around in his shoes and think in his shoes.
If we can't do that, then we might as well remember another sentence:
Don't easily disturb other people's sadness, just like don't easily disturb other people's happiness.
05
There is a little story on the Internet that has been circulating for many years.
Say a little girl who rents a house, it seems to be alone in this city, and the landlord cut the price for half a day, the rent is very low and very low, and the final deposit is not enough,
The landlord picked and picked for half a month, and finally this tenant did not want that tenant, or chose to consider from the perspective of interests, the most unqualified little girl as a tenant.
Someone asked the landlord, why rent to her?
The landlord replied with only one sentence:
"When she stood there carrying a big suitcase, her back was a bit like my daughter's."
Many times, we can't put on other people's shoes like the woman from Shikoku Island in the JAL 123 crash, or even empathize with others from the perspective of this landlord's aunt.
But at the very least, we have a choice.
In the face of his deceased relatives, Su Shi, 1,000 years ago, wrote a eulogy that has been passed down through the ages:
Ten years of life and death are vague, not thinking, unforgettable, thousands of miles of lonely graves, nowhere to say desolate.
Hundreds of millions of people praised, no one to harshly rebuke Su Shi for rubbing traffic, selling fame and reputation.
So today, 1,000 years later, why should we harshly blame a girl in the Internet age for using videos to remember her aunt?
We want to allow those who are in grief to mourn and to remember in their own way. Instead of harshly condemning them, perform in the way we look like the perfect victim in our minds.
Yes, there is no real empathy in this world, but we can at least choose kindness.
Without disturbing the sadness of others, it is a kind of tenderness, a kind of kindness.
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