Wen | smiled slightly
01.
There's an old saying: the devil is in the details.
However, excessive attention to the perfection of details is also a disease.
I often hear many readers ask:
"How can you tell from the details whether men love themselves or not?" Or "The boyfriend suddenly started working out and became cold to me, why is that?" "And even" what seems to be the usual but extremely frightening details? ”
Remember, Miyazaki once said, "Once people have a gap, they can no longer get close." There is only reconciliation in the world, but it is not the same, the enthusiasm is exhausted and only indifference remains, collapsing in the details, letting go in disappointment. ”
In fact, on the issue of marriage and love, women are more delicate and sensitive than men, and care more about men's attitudes in small things. However, everything has a degree, and women's excessive love for details is sometimes harmful to feelings, and it is precisely this truth that is too late.
I remember that when Fu Seoul talked about her shiny ex, she once mentioned the story of "three buns deciding to stay in feelings".
At that time, Fu Seoul kind of wanted to go to the Shanghai company to break in, but he was reluctant to have a boyfriend, and he was a bit entangled.
So she played a strange gamble, she bought three buns and saw how many buns her boyfriend kept for herself. If the boyfriend eats 2 and keeps 1, she will go to Shanghai, and if the boyfriend eats 1 and stays 2, she will stay and not go to Shanghai.
But unfortunately, maybe Fu Seoul's ex was really hungry that day, and he ate 2 buns. So Fu Seoul told him that he was going to Shanghai to break up with him.
He sat at the kitchen table shaking all over, and he said, 'I love you so much, you're going to leave me and take a bun as a reason, is that a joke?' Are you sick..."
Didn't the ex love Fu Seoul? No, but even if you love again, in the eyes of Fu Seoul, who was still young at that time, it is not enough to love, and it is not worth giving up a better future.
From one small detail, she gave up on a relationship and missed out on a good man.
Is it really worth it? Is this rational? Isn't that a bit ridiculous?
The devil is in the details? Sometimes it's just because you don't look at the problem specifically enough, you just want to see what you think, predict what all this happens, and have nothing to do with love or not.
It is ridiculous to care too much about perfection in detail.
02.
To love someone becomes humble, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to prove that you are favored through all kinds of tests and clues.
The careful thinking of a thousand turns, and the panic of the brothers and sisters, are the clues of loving you. However, looking at a person and judging a feeling from small details is actually not rational enough, and it is easy to misjudge.
I do not deny the reality that details defeat love, but I also ask women not to "cut the details" too much in love and marriage, requiring men to put you first in everything, and everything is in line with your wishes, otherwise they will not love, they will make trouble, how is this not a "princess disease", a kind of love incompetence?
There was a girl who asked her boyfriend to snap up a heart-to-heart cream for her at zero, but unfortunately, her boyfriend was drinking outside and forgot, which was actually ten minutes late.
However, the girl is angry, ignores whatever the boyfriend says, and wants to break up.
Later, the girl woke up: "Now that I think about it, I really shouldn't." Sometimes I may actually be spoiled as a little princess, and I start to roll around without a small detail. In fact, he has done a good job, when we are together, we take good care of me, we will call every day in different places, count the days to meet with me every day, usually red envelopes and gifts have ..."
"No matter what I do, I can't withstand the neglect of a detail...", this is the voice of many men, obviously they love her very much, but they are denied by a small detail, which makes people helpless.
No one is perfect, so why be so demanding all the time.
You are not perfect yourself, why ask others to be impeccable?
Feelings can not tolerate a little sand, too much detail of people, with whom to live is difficult to be happy.
03.
Seeing this you might say:
"Many couples have problems with their feelings, and at first they are seen from small details. Seeing the problem from the small details, isn't it possible to find a way to solve the problem? For example, some men have betrayed their marriages, and clues can be found on their mobile phones..."
It sounds reasonable, but it's not.
The world is unpredictable, life is impermanent, feelings will flow, a relationship has a problem, not you found out in advance, you can save a man's heart.
A man doesn't love you and wants to betray his marriage, that's a matter of his morality and character. It has nothing to do with whether you want to observe him in detail and test him.
If you have such time, detective power and wisdom, it is better to use it on self-improvement, when you have the capital and resources to leave, why worry about not having a man loyal to you, even if you live alone, you live beautifully, right?
Details can be seen in some problems, but it is not advisable to cut the details too much.
Even if you find some clues from the details, what can you do? It is too tiring and not worthwhile to revolve around the question of whether men love you or not, and it is also easy to misunderstand and produce unnecessary misunderstandings and misunderstandings.
Details can see something, but it is not overly magnified, and there is no need to be the only basis for judging feelings.
Holding on to a certain detail, the injured person is not only the other party, but also you.
Grasping the big and letting go of the small, focusing on self-improvement, is the king's truth.
I wish that there are lovers in the world who will eventually become dependents.
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