There is a saying on the Internet that many people especially agree with: knowing so many truths is still not good in this life. This sentence is actually a phenomenon that many people are particularly troubled by: knowing but not being able to do it, knowing and doing cannot be unified. For example, I know that husband and wife should talk well, but as soon as the temper comes up, they will make all kinds of accusations, complaints and even attacks, knowing that it is not good to scold the child, but still can't help but scold the child, knowing that there is no need to care about other people's gossip, but other people's denial is to make themselves very angry...
So, what exactly is this asking?
Here we have to start from the principle of human psychological operation, we must know that the psychological activities of people mainly include instinctive behavior, emotions and consciousness and rational behavior, of which instinctive behavior and emotions belong to the innate instinctive psychological reaction, consciousness is the psychological function developed by the day after tomorrow, and rational behavior is the behavior under the command of consciousness.
Whether it is innate instinct or acquired rational psychological activities, in essence, they are all generated around people's "needs", and conversely, the role of these mental activities is to meet people's needs. For example, we mentioned above: blaming the other half is essentially to let the other party meet their own needs, such as the husband comes back after drinking late at night, the wife is very angry and scolds, do you still have this home in your heart? You drink dead at the wine table, the anger and aggressive language behind it, behind the need for the husband to go home early, do not drink, because he always drinks like this will have problems, the husband falls down, the home is finished, which makes the wife very insecure, so behind this is the wife's sense of security needs.
The same principle, the child's grades are not good, parents are very angry to scold the child, because parents feel that if the child's grades are not good, they cannot be admitted to a good school, and life will be very difficult in the future, which is actually a projection of parents' survival anxiety, in fact, it is also their own needs.
Then we say that the role of all psychological activities is to meet people's needs, but you know, the smaller the child, the more instinctive psychological activities to meet their own needs, such as babies who can't speak, they will only cry when he is hungry, but an instinctive behavior, and there are emotions inside, children When you do not meet his needs, basically use emotions, will also use instinctive behavior, as the child gradually grows up, consciousness develops, language gradually develops, Children begin to express their needs gradually geographically, or to a certain extent, meet their own needs.
Normal to adulthood, the way to meet the needs transitions to the rational way, what is rationality? That is, consciousness meets its own needs according to the general rules of society, and consciousness plays a leading role.
So let's go back to the theme, why "know that you can't do it, know and act can't be unified", "know" belongs to the level of consciousness, the "can't do" here actually refers to the consciousness can not command "instinctive behavior and emotions", for example, you "know" that hitting the child is not good, but your "behavior" is to hit the child, this is the knowledge and action is inconsistent, if you know that hitting the child is not good, and no longer hit the child, this is the unity of knowledge and action, know that it is done.
So we see that many of us are actually in the face of problems, the way to deal with problems (to meet their own needs) is actually "instinctive psychology" in the dominant, that is, instinctive behavior and emotions, consciousness does not work at all, their "know" is only "know" when there is nothing to do, encounter things is not possible. So why? We said above, the smaller the child, the more they use instinctive psychological activities to meet their own needs, so it means that the psychological development level of many of our adults stays in the child stage, and the psychology does not develop mature, so the way to solve problems and meet their own needs stays in the instinctive stage, and it is impossible to think rationally and deal with problems.
Therefore, when you feel that you are always "the unity of knowledge and action", you must know that you need psychological growth, so that your psychology develops to the rational stage, and you can naturally achieve the unity of knowledge and action.