A heroine in the TV series "Happiness Duo", her marriage is very unhappy, can be described as fragmented.
The husband didn't love her, didn't love her at all, preferred to stay outside than come home to have a look, and even then, the woman still didn't divorce.
Because she has a daughter, she is divorced but it doesn't matter, but the daughter can't, she will lose her father, she will lose the love of the original family.
Later, her husband betrayed her, and when she confronted him, he rightly said that he did not love her and wanted to divorce her.
The woman knows that her husband does not love her, but still does not agree to divorce, saying that as long as she lives, divorce is impossible.
The husband felt that she was unreasonable, and then he was about to leave, and the woman quickly hugged her husband, called him husband, and begged him not to go, as long as he did not leave, he let himself do anything, and betrayal could be as if nothing had happened.
Obviously it is the husband's fault, obviously the husband has betrayed himself, but in the end, it is the woman who panics, just to prevent the husband from divorcing.
Seeing this scene, we can't help but start to think, what does marriage bring to women?
happiness? freely? safe? Practical? comfortable?
It seems that there is none.
Love that was once thought to be beautiful was defeated by reality.
It is only then that we will understand that when a woman reaches middle age, she does not need love at all.
When women reach middle age, what they need most is actually the sense of solidity brought by "money"
When a woman reaches middle age, what she needs most is not love, but money.
A few days ago, the news reported that an executive had committed domestic violence against his wife, and subsequently, the victim also posted a post accusing the man of the harm he had caused himself in recent years.
At the beginning, he resigned to become a housewife, and the man also said" "I raise you", but after marriage, the man made an IOU and gave his wife five hundred yuan of living expenses every month, and he had to repay it.
The original "I raise you" eventually became "I borrow you", you say how terrible it is for women not to be financially independent, and real life tells you that women's economic independence is so terrible.
What's wrong without love?
The stage of emotional development to middle age is basically such a situation, not "thriving".
But if there is no money in the hand, it will be at the mercy of men, not only no love, not even marriage, "people and money are empty."
Yi Shu once said: "There are four questions in the life test, academic, career, marriage, family, the average score is high to pass, do not spend too much time and energy on any one of the questions." ”
Marriage is just a part of our lives, and we can also devote our energy to our careers.
When we have money in our hands, happiness can be given through money, and love is not so important.
The economy is independent, and love is the icing on the cake
Luo Zijun in the TV series "The First Half of My Life" transformed from a full-time wife to an economically independent woman, taking her husband's betrayal of herself as an opportunity.
At that time, Luo Zijun's love was all her own, and she couldn't imagine that there would be a day, a day when she would be betrayed by her husband.
She resolutely chose to divorce, saying in her heart that it was all fake if she was not sad.
After the divorce, Luo Zijun began to support himself, began to start from the simplest sales, although making money is very hard, although it is not much to earn, but it is his own blood and sweat money, it is earned by himself, and he spends it steadily.
It is also because of her economic independence, Luo Zijun's way of thinking has also opened up a lot more than before, and love seems to be a necessity for her.
When a middle-aged woman has money, it is actually equivalent to having everything.
As Carnegie once wrote in "Women's Patterns Determine endings": "Financially independent women, with their own ability to create happiness, do not need to please and rely on men." Marriage is just the icing on the cake for them. ”
Without love, we can become "lovers" who pamper ourselves
Love is really important when we are young.
It's just that we've been through half a lifetime, we've seen too many things, and we know what's more important.
Of course, we also know that some things are meaningless, and trying to do our best is only in vain.
At this time, we will understand, why should life be entangled in those meaningless things?
There's nothing wrong with love, at least we still have ourselves.
Writer Zhang Xiaoxian wrote in "Thank You for Leaving Me": "When love is absent, learn to live your own life. To live your own life is to fall in love with yourself, to treat yourself as your lover, and to spoil yourself. ”
Without love, we can become "lovers" who pamper ourselves.
Do beauty, go out shopping with good friends, walk alone on the road, and learn something that interests you.
These are all happier than drilling the tip of the bull's horn.
We have gone through half a life, and in the second half of our lives we will learn to live with subtraction. Love what you love, do what you want to do, and so on.