Women's Football Captain Wang Shanshan: Father, you can praise me once!

On February 6, 2022, the Chinese women's football team in the case of two goals behind the South Korean women's football team, Tang Jiali and Zhang Linyan scored two goals in 4 minutes to equalize, and then in the injury time stage by Xiao Yuyi scored a killer goal, and finally defeated the South Korean women's football team 3:2, regaining the Asian Cup after 16 years, which was also the ninth time that the Chinese women's football team won the Asian Cup.

This time, the Chinese women's football team can achieve a shocking reversal, and the captain Wang Shanshan is indispensable. The last killer goal was assisted by Wang Shanshan, Xiao Yuyi seized the opportunity to score the killer ball.

Shanshan Wang was named MVP (Most Valuable Player) of the Asian Cup.

After the game, in an interview with reporters, Wang Shanshan's father Wang Ruijin said: May stem from the traditional concept, for his daughter he rarely praises, are "picking thorns", this time did not pick thorns, but bluntly said to his daughter "play well, play well!" Waiting for you to go home! ”

For her father's provocation, Wang Shanshan still has some ideas, and will also use the way of coddling to say her heart' words: people's fathers praise every time, why do you criticize it.

In the face of her father's "provocation", although Wang Shanshan did not say it in her mouth, she has been working hard, which can be seen from the situation mentioned by Wang Ruijin in an interview with reporters: "When I ask her, she is in training, either on the way to the game or in the game, and only in the New Year can she come back for a few days." A few years ago, there was no gym in Luoyang, I rode in front of the bike, she followed behind to practice endurance, and in the past two years, I went home to practice in the gym for two hours a day, and the day fell. ”

I can understand why parents like to "evaluate" their children's "results" in a "picky" way, because many parents have told me why. These reasons are very powerful, and in their original words, they hope to achieve three major goals in a "provocative" way:

The first is to prevent children from becoming complacent because they have achieved a little. Because of the praise of parents, will children be proud and complacent? I don't feel like this logic makes sense. The reason why some children are proud and complacent seems to be related to their parents' praise is that there is a problem with the way parents praise. The correct way to praise should be to affirm the child's good habits, good words and deeds in success, rather than the general "exaggeration" and the "bottomless tolerance" of the child's wrong words and deeds after his temporary success.

The second is to let children clarify the direction of progress through the way of "picking thorns". Affirmation, pointing out problems to point out problems, there is no need to merge the two into one, and at the same time there is no contradiction. After the child's success, parents should give affirmation, so that the child can enjoy the "glory" of success, rather than success and failure are the same, the only difference may be only the degree of "criticism" when success and failure are not the same. Success, do not enjoy the joy of success, over time, children will not desire success.

The third is to help yourself better consolidate your position of authority in the hearts of your children. More than one parent has told me this reason. Seriously, I can't understand. Does the establishment and consolidation of authority need to be carried out in this way by cracking down? Does this approach allow children to have a reverence for their parents? I'm afraid it's hard.

I personally think that many times, when parents implement some parenting behaviors, the most feared thing is to take it for granted, thinking that such parenting behaviors will produce good parenting effects after implementation, in fact? Side effects may occur, the most typical side effect is to make parent-child communication less or even no. It can be seen from Wang Shanshan's "reporting good news but not worrying", never telling her parents about her injuries, and parents can only know from TV that their daughters are injured again.

Wang Shanshan is a public figure, there are media reporters to pay attention to, parents can also know some of the situations she does not say, what about ordinary children? Where do parents know? Therefore, sometimes the "deterioration" and even "deterioration" of children are not sudden, but because of a long period of no communication, parents have no way of knowing, coupled with not careful observation and discovery, always think that it is sudden, and will also blame the reason on some "accidental" factors.

Therefore, I would like to suggest that parents and friends, in the face of their children's success, do not think about the east and west, all kinds of concerns, your concerns and thinking are purely "unfounded", you must affirm, praise, and through affirmation and praise, let the child understand "which" is good and must be adhered to.