Do you believe that having a baby is addictive?
When the third child was first released, colleagues around me, whether male or female, whether they had children or not, said:
Three children?
I can't live, and I can't afford to raise it!
But in Taiwan Province, just across the strait, 39-year-old Guo Shiwei and Xu Hongxun have conceived six children in 10 years.
There is no family property, no mansion villa, and the father who earns money to support the family is just an ordinary office worker.
I thought it would be a family full of frustration and sadness.
But in the reality show "Who's Coming to Dinner", I saw a warm and harmonious family of 7.
01
This is a family with "male outside and female inside" in Tamsui District, New Taipei City, Taiwan Province.
His father, Xu Hongxun, 39, works as a real estate agent in a Japanese company and is responsible for earning money to support his family.
Mother Guo Shiwei, 39 years old, is a full-time mother, taking care of the family's diet and living, while also working part-time as a birth attendant in the hospital.
The eldest daughter, Xu Panxin, 10 years old, is a primary school student who can speak the Tao and plays the piano well.
Because she is the eldest daughter in the family, she learned to share the housework for her parents and take care of her younger siblings early.
The second daughter, Xu Yuehan, 8 years old, is in elementary school and is a well-behaved housework master.
Usually, my favorite thing is to tie up my apron and do some housework at home.
The third elder, Xu Peiyang, accidentally fell ill more than 40 days after his birth and died more than a month later, which has also become an unforgettable pain for the family.
To this day, children still say that they have six brothers and sisters.
The fourth xu muxuan, 5 years old, is the most emotional child in the family, don't look at the weekday love to sing and dance lively and cheerful, but the best capture of brothers and sisters and parents of the emotions.
The fifth xu lizhe, 4 years old, is a spoiled boy, grew up under the care of three older sisters, and is often used by his sisters as a model to braid and wear skirts.
The youngest child, Xu Yiyi (kǎi), has just been 10 months old, and he can't speak yet, and he has become the favorite "big doll" of his brothers and sisters.
It is worth mentioning that the sixth elder was naturally born in her own bathtub with the help of her husband and midwife.
The reason for this is that the matter of having a child has been easily learned, and the second is to save the cost of hospitalization.
I have to say that Guo Shiwei is really a "cruel person".
In order to give the children better companionship, the couple did not find a babysitter, and the old man only occasionally helped, so that the big family was all up to themselves.
Homes full of belongings, twittering children, think crazy.
But Guo Shiwei handled it very well, not only loving and supporting each other in the children's education, but also taking care of their lives in an orderly manner.
After the program was broadcast, it received praise from countless viewers.
How did she do it?
02
The life of "one dozen five" is naturally extremely busy.
In addition to cooking and taking care of the newly born sixth, Guo Shiwei also has to tutor other children's homework, and they can often see such scenes in their homes:
My mother was busy cooking in her hands, and she did not forget to randomly give some mathematical oral arithmetic problems to the old fourth who was sitting next to her:
The mother coaxed the old sixth in her arms, and did not forget to deal with the disputes between the other children:
Passing by the living room, do not forget to guide the piano of the eldest daughter:
Although the living environment is crowded and the children are noisy, this small home is clean and tidy.
There was no mess of graffiti on the walls, no toys scattered on the floor, and the sofas and coffee tables were also clean and tidy.
Although there are many people and many things, in terms of cleanliness, I am afraid it is better than many families with only one child.
What is even more valuable is that this is not a posing shot, but a daily routine that the whole family strives to maintain under Guo Shiwei's words and deeds.
On his refrigerator, a "salary registration form" was posted.
After the age of 4, every child is eligible to join the ranks of "doing housework to earn a salary".
For example, washing dishes once or mopping the floor and wiping the table, you can get a ○, after accumulating two ○s, there is a √, and a √ corresponds to 5 yuan.
With the rewards, children scramble to do housework to earn pocket money in their spare time.
And Guo Shiwei can also free her hands to take care of smaller children and do more things.
For slightly older children, Guo Shiwei will let them go independently or go out together.
Two girls of similar age often take the subway together to take piano lessons.
Of course, my mother would tell the two sisters what to do if they met a bad person, what to do if they got lost, what to do if they sat on a stand...
Xu Hongxun, the husband who works outside the home and earns money to support the family, will also join the ranks of taking children and doing housework on holidays or other times when he does not work, so as to win valuable rest time for his wife.
In their home, the mother is not a nanny who cleans up the "mess" behind the whole family, but a "leader" who leads the whole family to fight for a better life.
03
Although the family's income is not high, and their life is not very rich, they do not feel that there are more than 6 children, and they plan to continue to have babies!
Because in their view, although it is hard to take the baby, as long as it is balanced in material and companionship, and does not owe anyone, it is more lively to have more children.
Especially after the death of the third elder, they feel that it is a happy thing to accompany their children to grow up, and even the headache of crying is grace.
But their ideas and practices were unanimously opposed by their elders.
A long time ago, the in-laws and mother-in-law advised the couple more than once not to have children.
Not only because the cost of tuition and living expenses is a very large burden when children grow up, which may cause problems in the family economy.
Moreover, the daughter-in-law Guo Shiwei is too hard to carry the child at home alone, and the high-intensity family labor that goes round and round is not good for the body.
In order to reassure the elders, Guo Shiwei often sends her children to her grandparents' home on weekends, and enjoys the solitude time on the weekend by herself, releases the pressure accumulated in daily life, and greets the future life with a better state.
04
In the show, the most touching thing is the undisguised love of their family for each other.
Parents love every child.
In Guo Shiwei's heart, every child is equal.
When there is a dispute between children, they are impartial, neither teaching the big to let the small, nor condoning the big child to bully the young.
What children have ideas, they must boldly and accurately say them, they cannot take them for granted, and they cannot wait for others' handouts.
Although dads are often busy outside, they try to find time to accompany their children as much as possible.
The child also understands his father's hardships, and the boss even made a song for his father:
Thank you Dad for living hard, working hard, sheltering us from the wind and rain...
Brothers and sisters love each other.
Once the whole family went shopping together to the supermarket, the fourth wanted to buy a pencil knife, but his pocket money was not enough, the second sister saw the initiative and said:
"I'll fund you 20 first."
At dinner, when the mother encouraged the children to say something that they most wanted to thank or felt most touched by today, the boss said:
"Today, the second sister sponsored the fourth sister to buy stationery for 20 yuan."
The fourth elder then continued:
"My sister makes me feel 'loved.'"
Knowing how to affirm the efforts between family members and expressing their gratitude and love without stinginess, such a family atmosphere is enviable.
Of course, sharing such a story today is not to respond to the call to persuade everyone to have children.
Instead, it shows an uncommon but welcoming way of life.
When a family is not harmonious, many people will blame the reason for the "lack of money".
However, the emotional bond between family members is not connected by "money".
Chinese are mostly implicit, and the love between parents and siblings is rarely declared.
But everyone's life is rich and colorful, and even the people who love them the most cannot feel each other's love at any time.
A word of thanks, a word of love for you, a few seconds, but you can let the other party feel your love and understand your position in the other person's heart.
Moreover, there is no standard for happiness.
Early marriage, late marriage or even no marriage, Dink, one is good, or children and grandchildren are full of children and grandchildren, and no alternative is necessarily happier.
Life is your own life, as long as it is a choice made through thinking, as long as you can assume the corresponding responsibilities in the future life, then you don't have to care about other people's opinions, just do it.
So, there's no need to worry about Dink being left alone, and there's no need to feel that having a family of 6 kids is hard.
These are the best choices individuals can make based on their own state and past experiences.
It is also the freedom that a person should have.