"Widowed parenting" is one of the most popular topics in recent years. It seems to be a somewhat pessimistic situation, but it is not impossible to change.
Lo and behold, this mother named "Xiong Er" used the "magic weapon" of reading picture books together to successfully pull the child's father into the "pit" of parenting, and the family of three was happy and harmonious.
Almost every child who reads a picture book, especially a boy, will love "You Look Delicious", a dinosaur-themed picture book.
It was so popular, and I was inspired to "use" this picture book to smoothly hand over the daily parent-child reading to my father, and then quietly handed over the previous job of reading picture books, bathing, to my father, and then more, gradually bidding farewell to "widowed parenting".
01
Since Simba was around two years old, we have made parent-child reading one of our main daily play activities. Watching his love for picture books increase day by day, and his language skills improving rapidly, I was very happy in my heart, and I was also thinking about strategies for how to pull my father in.
Now, most dads are big kids, and "widowed parenting" is a worldwide problem. As a man with higher education, his concept of education is still stuck in the previous generation, believing that educating children is mainly the work of mothers.
Simba flips through Miyasita's "T-Rex" series on his own
Therefore, I knew early on that coercion and indoctrination were useless, and I had to let him join voluntarily! One day when Simba was 2 years old and 10 months old, I saw him grunting and talking with "You Look Delicious" without disturbing him, listening quietly, and found that he could finish the story from beginning to end, and added some content himself.
When he closed the book, I said, "Simba, let's perform a game that tells this story, record a video, okay?" ”
"Okay."
"Then which one should you be?"
"Tyrannosaurus rex." Children always like to think of themselves as protagonists.
That night, I showed Simba's dad a video recorded during the day. Obviously, from the beginning of carelessness, he gradually became full of excitement. What father can say that he is unhappy when he sees his child! I'm letting him taste a little bit of sweetness! Simba was also amazed to see himself telling a story and seemed excited!
Riding on the father and son' excitement, I said, "Let's do this story together." Simba arranged the role: he was a Tyrannosaurus rex, his mother was an ankylosaurus baby, and his father was of course the Gillan Tyrannosaurus.
At the climax of the story, The Gillan Taylon pounced on the baby ankylosaurus, the Tyrannosaurus rex protected the baby Ankylosaurus, "click" the Gillan Taylon bit into the back of the Tyrannosaurus Rex, the Tyrannosaurus Rex held back the pain, "snapped" out of the big tail, and the Gillan Tarylon flew out for a long distance. I was lying on the bed, pretending to be nibbling grass, Dad pounced on me, Simba pounced on me, Dad gently bit him on the back, Simba pushed Daddy away, Daddy flew out very cooperatively.
"Fly out a lot"
The three of them laughed and rolled on the bed.
At that time, Simba would not say "Our family of three", always said "We are three families, let's play the Tyrannosaurus Rex". In this way, he acted for several nights in a row, until his interest turned to other picture books.
Next, I slowly induced Simba and said, "This book will be better spoken by Dad, and Dad knows more than Mom..."
02
Simba's father experienced the benefits and participation pleasures brought by picture books to children, plus I gave him a "top hat", and he was a somewhat playful adult, so he smoothly entered the "pit" of reading picture books and playing picture books.
At first, I "despised" dad's way of reading picture books, and I really wanted him to follow my set. But on second thought, this would have been a relaxing and pleasant thing, and it didn't matter what the "right way" was, so why "go on the line". He's willing to do it, already very good!
Read it in person with Dad
I looked slowly and found that Dad's way was more flexible. Sometimes, he made up random "Journey to the West" and Simba listened to it with relish. Dad understands picture books differently from me, and his thinking is more open. For example, when he read a wordless picture book like "Crazy Tuesday", it is obvious that he has a scientific thinking, and the attention and explanation are more atmospheric than mine. And, most importantly, Simba finally has a dad who tells him stories, which is better than anything!
Now, Simba has developed the habit that as long as Dad is at home, it must be the two of them who will complete the trilogy of bathing, telling stories, and "riding a big horse". As a result, I also successfully handed my son back to my father.
This article is from the October 2019 issue of Moe