"Happy Moments" For the sake of the 50 yuan, I succumbed to my daughter-in-law

1. My mother recently came to Beijing to find me and stayed at home for two days. On this day, I just came back from work, and my mother saw me coming up and scolded: "You said you wasted it!" A few oranges in the fridge were hardened and didn't eat! Why don't you buy it without eating it! It's a pity to throw it away, I forced myself to eat one, and my teeth almost didn't sour! I can only throw it all away! I looked at my mother in shock, and my heart was full of my milk, and the few lemons I had just bought were thrown away by my mother as rotten oranges.

2. My daughter-in-law, every time she pays public grain, subsidizes me with 100 ocean allowance fees! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for paying grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150.

To be honest, that's 50 more, and the attraction is quite big!!!

3. As the boss of the company, I made a table of dishes for my wife for the wedding anniversary, but I didn't expect my wife to vomit after taking a bite. I was very surprised: you can't have it, right? Wife: Although I also think it is true, it should not be. Me: Then why do you want to throw up? Wife: It's not that the dishes you made are too bad to eat, I really want to throw up.

4. After my cousin graduated from Normal University, she went to a kindergarten as a teacher. Once during recess, my cousin and a few children got together to chat. Only to hear the first child say: "I found my parents particularly interesting, they said that I picked up the monster." The second child said, "What's so strange about this, many parents say so!" At this time, the third child spoke: "My parents said that I was given away after shopping for 300." ”

5. When I was in college, in order not to ask my parents for living expenses, I went to KTV every night to work as a waiter. Once, a few northern Shaanxi coal bosses came and gave me a tip of 3,000 yuan when I left. At that time, I was very happy, and the next day at noon, I took my girlfriend to the restaurant, ordered the dishes that I usually wanted to eat but did not want to eat, and then went shopping to buy and buy. Finally, I carried a large bag back to school, and halfway through, my girlfriend suddenly burst into tears and cried and said to me: "You promised me not to sell myself!"

6. I have a lot of smokers and always come after eating every day. After eating last night, the lighter in my pocket broke down. It was cold and lazy to go out to buy, looking for something that did not find a cigarette for half a day, and sat on the sofa and watched TV depressedly. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my toes, and I looked down to see my son holding a red-hot chopstick in his hand, smiling triumphantly at me. Without waiting for me to speak, my son said first: I just want to tell you that I can burn chopsticks in the kitchen, and I can't light a cigarette?

7. When my uncle was forty-five years old, he married a young stewardess. On this day, the two went to the supermarket and met a big aunt, and the uncle greeted her warmly. After leaving, the aunt asked: Who is she? Uncle said: Our company restaurant aunt! My aunt teased: Seeing that you greeted you so warmly, I thought you were financial! Uncle rolled his eyes: Can the restaurant aunt give you more meals, and can the finance give you more money? Aunt:......

8. The old man won 3 million yuan in the lottery ticket last month, and when he had money, the old man spent 200,000 yuan to buy a watch for himself. The old man took it for a while and found that this watch went a little fast. So the old man went to the store to ask the boss for an explanation, and the old man said: How can I go faster than the ordinary watch when I spend 200,000 yuan to buy it? The boss laughed and said: This is the same as porsche icon running faster than Santana icon, of course, the famous watch is faster than the ordinary watch!

9. Today with the buddies to play in the video game city, saw a cute girl alone in the gopher that coin, looks like a well-behaved and beautiful, then I was not calm! When I was ready to go up to the conversation, she started playing gophers, what a cruel word! We were all dumbfounded by the hammer, and then she took another hammer to play the gopher game, and opened the bow left and right! Don't be deceived by appearances, it's too shocking!

10. I often go to a supermarket downstairs in our community to buy cigarettes, and the supermarket owner is about thirty years old. The man was very enthusiastic, and there was an assembled computer next to his counter. No matter when I go grocery shopping, the supermarket owner is playing online games, making voice copies with teammates. The boss said to me: I only open a supermarket to support my family, I am actually a professional player, and the game is my greatest pleasure. Oh my God, that's the ideal life I want!