An experiment
In the 1960s and 1970s, Walter Michelle, a psychologist at Stanford University, gathered dozens of children aged 4 to 6 at a childcare school affiliated with Stanford.
Take them one by one into a small room, give them a marshmallow each, and leave them alone.
Children were told that if they waited 15 minutes for the adults to return, they would get two marshmallows.
If you can't wait to eat, you can also ring the bell to call the adult, but at this time you can only eat this piece in front of you.
As a result, 2 out of every 3 children ate marshmallows.
Some children ate marshmallows after the door was closed for a few seconds, some waited for 1 minute, some waited for 5 minutes, and some even waited for 13 minutes.
The remaining 1/3 of the children who do not eat marshmallows will look at the marshmallows, keep going backwards, even licking a mouthful, or distract themselves by singing, kicking the table, closing their eyes, etc.
14 years later, he found the children who participated in the marshmallow experiment and conducted a follow-up investigation.
The results of the survey found that children who could resist their desires and not eat marshmallows were generally more competitive, entered better universities, and scored an average of 210 points higher than children who ate marshmallows.
This is the famous marshmallow experiment. After reading this experiment, I believe that parents have a preliminary understanding of the importance of self-control.
In fact, the essence of self-control is to control impulses. It is mainly reflected in the "prefrontal lobe" and "limbic system" of the brain.
The "prefrontal lobe" belongs to the managers of the brain and is primarily responsible for providing sound judgment and impulse control.
The "limbic system" belongs to the executors of the brain and is responsible for instinctive survival, such as drinking water when thirsty, eating when hungry, and so on.
Self-control can be seen as the process by which the prefrontal lobe overcomes the limbic system.
Moreover, the "prefrontal lobe", which is responsible for reasonable judgment and control of impulses, basically does not mature until about the age of 25. But the "limbic system" responsible for children's survival instincts gradually matures when they are teenagers and achieve curve overtaking.
It seems not difficult to understand that the child's self-control is not strong.
Parents may ask: If self-control is so important, how can I improve my child's self-control?
The following will share 3 methods for you, parents can also train at home!
Operable games
Opera-oriented games can use game materials to train small muscles and control the speed and accuracy of small muscle activity. In operant games, the most common is the control of the opponent's muscles.
Example of the game: The house that will change
Toys: Building blocks
How to play: Mom and child play with blocks together, using blocks to build their own houses. Build a small house first, and then gradually expand the house into a castle. After the construction is over, introduce your house.
A child of about 3 years old only needs to ask him to build a simple house and give a brief introduction;
When a 4-6-year-old child enters the stage of simulated construction, he can be asked to imitate the model he built (slightly more complicated) and copy an exact castle;
For children over 6 years old, name the functions that the house needs to have, such as: bedroom, kitchen, garage, etc., and then let the child freely use his imagination to build.
In addition, for children over the age of 5, in the game, you can ask to tear down the built house after it is built, and then quickly restore the house to see who parents and children use less time.
Entertaining games
Entertaining games are characterized by highlighting emotional experiences, with plots, characters, and musical accompaniment, so that young children learn to control their own expressions and emotional emotions in the process of following the rules. When children present themselves as characters in the game, it helps them learn to wait.
In entertaining games, children can choose their own favorite situations and characters. It can be Ultraman, Peppa Pig, or Radius in Super Flying Man or the brave Wang Wang. At the same time, parents can add new elements to the established roles and situations, creating difficulties and allowing children to try to overcome. For example:
George eats a biscuit with magic and is stripped of the sound by the magician, and needs to be quiet for 2 minutes from now on, and can only make a sound after the magic is lifted. Through the situation, guide the child to control their own behavior, expressions and emotions, and strengthen their control over their external behavior.
Sporty games
Sports games are mainly based on muscle activities, and children are carried out in accordance with certain plots and competition requirements in basic movements such as walking, running, and jumping, so as to cultivate children's ability to control their bodies and movements.
Example of a game: Rescue toys
Rules of the game: Put three toys in different corners of the living room and tell the child that the toys are hidden by the elves and need him to find them.
Set a fixed starting point, the child needs to jump from the starting point to the center of the living room with both feet, and after completing the theme action specified by this week's homework, he can get a clue to find the toy.
After finding the toy, give the child the title of "Super Detective" and affirm his rescue operation.
Mind games
Mind games are usually played in the form of self-made chess and quiz competitions to train children to follow the rules and resist temptations and distractions. Such games usually train children's concentration very well, and cards, cards, marbles, etc. at home can be used as game props.
Example of a game: Guessing cards
Game rules: Choose four cards, three black and one red, the color is arranged in the previous line, let the child see the color of the card first, remember the location of the red card. Then cover the cards, rotate the positions randomly, and after the rotation, let the child guess where the red cards are. The roles of the child and the parent are then swapped, allowing the child to manipulate the cards, which the parents guess.
The poker cards here can also be replaced by children's English learning cards and literacy cards.