Gu Ailing tells about the mental journey: "I admit, I fell in love with fear"

Reference News Network reported on February 10 that Gu Ailing, the champion of the Beijing Winter Olympics freestyle skiing women's big jump, published an article on the website of the New York Times on February 8, saying that he was "in love with fear". The full text is excerpted below:

For nearly 10 years of my 18-year life, I've had a turbulent relationship with fear. I'm a professional freestyle skier, and double-tip skis, a 22-foot-tall U-shaped pool and two weeks of spinning are the main sources of my adrenaline, which is the really fascinating core of extreme sports.

Like all lovers who make people obsessed (due to lack of realistic experience, at least the kind I read about in the novel), this important other half may be... capricious. "Fear" actually encapsulates three different sensory experiences: excitement, uncertainty, and stress. I have learned that being aware of and actively using these subtle instructions in each of these senses can help with success; ignoring them is often a precursor to injury.

While extreme athletes can easily be labeled fearless or unconventional, I've spent countless hours imagining and practicing tricks on sponge pools (filled with foam and particles) and air cushions. Putting ourselves in danger is physiologically contrary to nature, and although we make every effort to prepare ourselves physically, no amount of so-called safety training can compare with the relentless snow slopes that come straight to us after a violent jolt throws us into the air. Instead of ignoring fear, we build a unique relationship with fear by exploring deep self-awareness and thoughtful risk assessment.

The process begins with imagining that picture. Before trying a new technique, a burst of tension rose in my chest between the base of my throat and the top of my diaphragm. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I imagined ascending through a giant take-off ramp, stretching my legs to maximize the lift. Then I saw myself twisting my upper body in reverse, making the flip I wanted, generating moments until I let my body turn back in the other direction.

Now, in my mind,I've flown. As soon as I see the back of the jump point, I can turn my gaze to the cloudless sky overhead. To me, the wind is also a kind of music, and each 360-degree turn brings a musical beat to my movements. When my feet landed in the middle of the way, I turned my body into the moment before the second flip, and I saw the landing point. I imagined my legs swinging and my body returning to the forward-facing position, focusing on the ground in front of my boots. Turn around. I was smiling. Then open your eyes.

The moment the imagination ended, the pimple stuck in my chest finally fluttered and spread. The excitement that comes with the adrenaline rush is what I really love and indulge in. The shaky balance between the confidence of completing the action safely and the excitement of the upcoming unknown experience made me want to stop. I've heard that this state is called "transformation." Last fall, when I became the first female skier in history to complete a two-week front flip plus four weeks of rotation, I did get into that state.

Unfortunately, hesitation can often overwhelm confidence. Without perfect preparation, I would sweat in my palms and swallow that nervous pimple into my stomach, making every breath more difficult. That feeling wasn't panic, it was something akin to fear. Every evolutionary instinct is shouting, danger! If I selectively ignore this safety mechanism, my body may be out of control in the air, turning and deforming, leaving me to prepare for the impact of the landing out of fear, because devoting myself to such an action may end in disaster. The ultimate goal of every freestyle skier is to recognize the nuances between excitement and uncertainty so that the risk of injury is minimized while performing at the best.

Finally, there is stress, a source of power in many forms of release. A person's stress experience – which is obviously the most subjective aspect of "fear" – can be influenced by personal experiences and perceptions. The expectations of friends and family, the urge to compete, and even the opportunity to sponsor can create a high-pressure environment. For a fighter who can overcome pressure, pressure may be a positive force, but pressure can also be a decisive factor in defeat.

However, whether an athlete can suppress or enhance his innate desire to "prove himself" depends largely on confidence. As I enter adulthood, I'm proud to be able to cope with stress by boosting my self-esteem and reducing the need for outside recognition. Whether alone or in front of an audience all over the world, I focus on gratitude, observation, and the joy that the sport brings me. While my view of myself and the world is constantly changing, one thing is certain: no matter how time passes, I am always an incurable romantic in the face of fear.

Source: Reference News Network