The spring of 2022 is destined to belong to the "chosen daughter" Gu Ailing, and since she won the championship, few people in the circle of friends have not been baptized by her news. While looking up at the stars, we discuss: Can such a child be raised? What would be the cost if so?
Text | Mountain smear micro cloud figure | Internet
Many people have paid attention to one of Gu Ailing's educational details - Haidian Huangzhuang cram school and Olympic mathematics.
You see, the Olympic number is not the "original sin" at all, the Olympic number and the Haidian cram school can not delay the all-round development of morality, intellect, body and beauty, and will not extinguish the child's interest in learning mathematics - gu Ailing is still interested in mathematics and wants to continue to study?
Not only the Olympic number, people's biology, physics, thinking, and big language have all been brushed in Haidian, and each one is not pulled, and at this moment, it seems that the "tuan annihilation" of the Haidian tuition circle seems to be a bit wronged.
At this time, Haidian Huangzhuang was once again concerned by the public, and quietly triggered "sympathy".
After a classmate of mine carefully read Gu Ailing's deeds, she breathed a long sigh, and she unloaded a lot of ideological baggage.
She has always been a firm hot-blooded chicken baby pie, every day to the children's subject tutoring, music and body beauty activities arranged full of full, only half a day on weekends to relax.
Also like the mother of Kotani's classmates, the children who see stitches and needles change into sportswear and write homework. But in fact, she was occasionally worried in her heart, thinking that she was too cruel?
Children are already learning very well, why bother to do so much to the extreme? What exactly is the picture? Too greedy! I am tired myself, and my children are tired.
Now she is completely relieved, since the child does not object, can push a push ah, in the "time management" to catch up with all kinds of talent classes, Gu Mother is much more ruthless than herself.
In fact, after reading the growth experience narrated by Gu Ailing in various versions, I suddenly felt very confused:
Everyone now knows that Gu's mother pays special attention to her sleep time, and must sleep more than 10 hours a day, and even some places say that it is 13 hours.
It's good that children sleep more, but almost all families have not learned this alone - 13 hours, get up at 7 a.m. to go to school, and can't go to bed at 6 p.m.?
Even more fascinating, Triptych also reported on the cute girl's love of vocal music, because there was no time, she had to ask one-on-one private teaching vocal music until late at night.
This, while sleeping for more than 10 hours, while learning late at night, how to do it? I could only sleep until noon the next day.
There is also the view of "winning", Gu's mother said, never thought that the child to make what kind of achievements must win the game, enjoy the process is good, but on the other hand, Grandma began to teach multiplication techniques since kindergarten, and from a young age taught her that she must "win", math is better than to win, others also have to win.
What ordinary people don't quite understand is that to become a world champion, there is no competitive heart, how to do it?
The more the media reports look at the more confused, Xiao Tani herself is really excellent, she is only 18 years old, so talented and dazzling, there is a vast world waiting for her to write miracles again in the future.
The root of the confusion is that almost all of the successful people's paths to achievement cannot withstand backwards. Success itself is a "king or loser" thing, as long as it is successful, and then go back to push back which thing, it seems to be able to support the final good results.
Gu Ailing's family is a first-class Kochi + high-net-worth family that is rare in Both China and the United States, otherwise it will not be able to afford the freedom of expensive training and exploration of various hobbies for children;
What about another genius teenager, the Ice Prince Yusheng? It was the story of a commoner family who cultivated and nurtured a pearl, and the teenager's competition uniform was even sewn by his mother to save money.
In addition to skiing, basketball, vocal music, Olympic numbers, piano, ballet, horseback riding, etc. must all be learned well, Chinese and English also have to be bilingual, this huge project schedule, not to mention how much money, just arrange them, will make an ordinary mother and child collapse.
After encountering geniuses such as Ailing and great success, it is all dazzling light. Unsuccessful, the child learned a lonely, education experts also have to comment that this kind of parents are too greedy, which one to do, why don't you let the child go to heaven?
When I became an adult, the decent children who lived a good life and worked sighed, my family was well-off, the first generation of children who were fiercely chickened, and in the end it was nothing more than that.
Even if it goes all the way, the TA who are themselves "other people's children" may have to come to a "middle-aged rebellion" and reflect on their previous "insignificant excellence".
Before the fire of Xiaogu's classmates, Shunyi's mother's cosmic-level chicken dolls, as well as the Chinese mothers in the Greater Bay Area on the other side of the ocean, were actually similar, and they were not less criticized by education experts and various immortals.
There is also the most operated by ordinary parents to "see the stitch and insert needle to write homework".
According to reports, in the 8-hour drive from home to ski in Lake Tahoe in the United States, Kotani has always had to hurry to complete the work.
According to ophthalmologists, ordinary children who do this for a semester may have a sharp decline in vision, and it is only a matter of time before they wear glasses.
If the children who grasp the homework in the car are successful, we will be impressed by this kind of time management of excellence; if the children who do not write homework in the car but look out the window to enjoy the beautiful scenery and sing and talk to each other succeed, we can also admire the atmosphere of helping children "leave blank".
In fact, you can do whatever you want, as long as the result is good, the final backwards can be completed.
Now I advocate sleeping more than 10 hours a day, which is the guarantee of children's all-round development, and once we also admired the genius stars, and successive strivers, they have seen the night sky at 2 or 3 o'clock in Los Angeles, and the sun at 5 and 6 o'clock in Beijing.
Always say that mothers should have their own careers and lives, do not be willing to act as children's drivers, sparring partners, accompanying reading, nannies, teaching assistants, etc., but look at successful children, which does not have an old mother who has become a "team" for her children?
Which of them has a mother who doesn't have an iron will? The mother let go to do her own business, busy her own life, and do not have to "be a mother", the child grows up dazzlingly, this probability is not much greater than the chance of meeting the genius girl Gu Ailing.
If the mother wants to do a good job herself and have children well, she accidentally falls into the so-called "family business" how to balance such a problem for women.
A mother who wholeheartedly pays for her child expects her child to succeed, which is a bit utilitarian, but it is not too much at all, because as long as the child finally becomes, all their plans and efforts can become a model, and they do not have to be evaluated as "no self" for anyone.
I once read a hot article on education about parent-child reading and early education companionship, and I was extremely impressed by a message that said:
Both of our husbands and wives are doctors who have graduated from doctorates and stayed in the top three hospitals, visiting outpatient clinics every week, night shifts, and rounds, and their work is very, very busy, and there is almost no time to do these parent-child companionship projects. Occasionally, when you are not too busy or on vacation, you also need to give yourself a little time or sleep well. What should we do with the education of children in families like ours? Should we resign alone as a bad doctor? What about livelihoods? The result of so many years of professional efforts can't bear to give up.
If it had been more than twenty years ago, such a problem would not have arisen at all. There's nothing to do about it! Adults work hard, children read their own books and play with their own.
Now there are too many tricks to educate children, and any one of them you casually take out requires parents to carefully lay out and spend money and effort.
Any case of pushing a baby to the extreme may be magnified to the whole world, making ordinary parents who are powerless and unable to spend their hearts to assist their children very anxious.
Like this is really mixed with the parenting problems of life, experts can only gently reply to say "teach by example, parents do a good job as a child's example."
But just having an example is far from enough for most ordinary children who need to push it, so experts finally have to suggest starting from the "heart" - it is really necessary, I really can't put it down, just choose a way to change jobs and resign! I still can't bear to watch a doctor who read a doctorate resign in order to push the child.
Now a popular type of article is "people who are better than you but work harder than you", read more, you can give yourself PUA.
Successful people are actually right about everything, and we often can't follow suit.
Do you want to learn from them, three more sleeps five more up? But in fact, in this world, sleep time is only a statistical approximation, which varies greatly for individuals.
Some people are born with a "sleep less type", only need to sleep for four or five hours, a day full of energy, and you may die suddenly.
There are still many people who take the success of Gu Ailing freestyle skiing to intimidate the education of "Chinese parents" - such a dangerous sport, how many parents in China are willing to let their children go?
Or "Our grandmother stopped her child from going skiing", what a backward idea! Can't let the child try, dragging the child's hind legs.
Are you sure? Obviously, parents' concern for the safety of their children is natural, extreme sports are very dangerous, and there is nothing wrong with not letting children learn.
Because of the success of the genius girl, we can't look down on the instinctive reaction of parents, only remember Gu Ailing's gold medal, but don't forget that the little girl has also fallen into a concussion.
Schumacher, the king of the ski-loving car, is still lying in the hospital, which makes people feel sad, as well as Ke Shouliang, whom we still miss, and Yu Chunshun, a hiking adventure hero.
Gu's mother also said that she never dared to watch her daughter's live game, but she heard that she landed normally, landed well, and came back to watch the recording.
We admire the courage of Mother Gu and Ai Ling to go forward, and the courage to challenge the limits of human beings, and we also fully understand the retreat and conservatism that ordinary people expect to be stable.
Although Kotani said in an interview that the biggest difference between the same age in China and the United States is "retouching", American teenagers never retouch pictures, which is completely unnecessary, because everyone believes that they are already beautiful.
However, in and out of the elevator these two days, seeing the poster of Xiaogu's endorsement, the merchant still disregarded the original beauty of the little girl and still conscientiously made a retouching.
We not only want our child to be excellent, but we are also shaping her perfection. Looking forward to the passing of this wave, don't add more to the perfect image of the little girl.
Mother Gu is actually a typical representative of the Chinese chicken baby in the American Bay Area, piano, ballet, ice sports from the past to the present, are the most enthusiastic cultivation projects of excellent Chinese families, and there is no lack of successes who have gone forward.
Controversy for decades, do not understand, the Bay Area is rolled up like that, obviously is a tough and powerful, moral, intellectual, physical and aesthetic all want the chicken mother, why should the media blow into the clouds light wind, look down on the success or failure of the Buddha mother? Is it the media's self-motivation or the chicken doll's shame?
Only about 0.1% of people can climb to the top of the canopy and become one of the bright stars, and the sentient beings under the stars applaud and cheer for them, and it is better to draw some energy from it.
As an ordinary parent, chickens are not chicken babies, how chicken babies, or first understand themselves, and then fully understand their own babies to determine.
Chicken-resistant dolls, on the premise of not making themselves sad to push well; if you are not resistant to chickens, then let go a little more.
The famous American psychologist Judith Harris has long argued in the book "The Myth of Parenting" that the educational role of parents is actually very limited, and you do not have to fall into the evil abyss of "not being able to raise confident, happy, and well-behaved children".
Oh, yes, the person who often falls into the abyss of self-blame is Mom. So far, On the road to success of Kotani's classmates, dad has not seen any other deeds besides dedicating good genes.
At the end of the writing, a triptych push "How Contemporary Parents Are Not Child-Centered" jumped out, and the author was an associate professor at Shanghai Jiaotong University.
To choose a school, to learn English, piano, dance, art, big language, etc., how can parents achieve a "child-centered" life?
Is it still necessary? What do you think.