Wen | Thirteenth Sister
Official account | Grid XIII (GSSW13)
Recently, Gu Ailing is really hot, not yet 19 years old, she is already like a walking perfect goddess symbol.
This beautiful and sassy Mixed-Race Girl of Chinese and American Descent has won the Junior Championship of the National Ski Competition and the champion and runner-up of major ski events around the world since she was 9 years old, and this time it is a big hit at the Winter Olympics.
You think she can only ski, sorry, people are still loved by Party A with their strength, and in 2021 alone, she has endorsed more than 20 top brands and has been listed on the Forbes China Elite List under 30.
You think she just knows how to ski and make money, sorry, she's still a school bully, and last year she ended her high school courses early and was admitted to Stanford University.
Gu Ailing's SAT score is 1580 points, do you know what this concept is? The FULL SCORE of the US college entrance examination sat was 1600 points, the Bill Gates college entrance examination score was 1590 points, Zuckerberg was also 1590 points, and Gu Ailing scored 1580 points, which exceeded 99.8% of the world's Stanford admission students.
This bully physique makes me can't help but sigh: Ai Ling is really worthy of being a "Haidian child"...
In some mother groups, everyone said that Gu Ailing had to grit her teeth and envy and jealousy, and they all said: "Look at Gu Ailing, and then look back at my own waste girl, I feel that my life is like this." ”
So I advised these mothers: "At this moment, maybe your daughter is looking at Gu Ailing's mother, and then looking back at her own waste mother, I feel that her life is almost like this." ”
How good other people's children are, how good other people's mothers are - everyone has been a mother for so many years, this truth neng does not understand is not okay.
There is a kind of "envious old mother" in the world, it seems that if they do not eat human fireworks and effortlessly, their children become all-round successful people. This type of mother is more enviable than Bai Suzhen, but they are really there, they are "Gu Ailing's mothers".
Recently, someone sent a video of Gu Ailing's mother talking about her "parenting philosophy" for all of us to learn, and after watching it, everyone unanimously said:
But I don't think they really watched and thought about it. I was different, I was very excited to see it, and I felt that gu Ailing's mother's concept was very useful to me.
The main points that have worked me the most are these three points:
1. "You don't have to take the 100 test, just master the knowledge points."
2. "Don't be perfect, because there is no such thing."
3. "You don't have to go to Stanford. ”
I love to hear these words the most, and what a encouragement I have given. You see people's valley mother, so Buddhist indifference, children can also be so successful, according to this logic to deduce, with my buddha-based indifferent mother, I can be very good in the future.
However, after repeatedly studying more than ten times, I felt a little confused, and once suspected that Gu Ailing's mother was using her own experience of successful parenting to teach me to lie flat?
Later, I gradually figured out that if a mother can say one sentence after another of "lying flat parenting" in a breeze, then the only premise should be that her child is particularly disciplined, ambitious and always successful.
Sure enough, the mother and mother in this world are not the same, mainly because the baby and the baby are not the same;
And the baby and the baby are not the same, and it is mainly because the mother and the mother are different.
So in the end, the mother has made the baby, or the baby has made the mother...
Anyway, at present, it seems that my baby and I have not yet achieved mutual achievements, and it is thankful that we can not destroy each other.
So there are many successful parenting stories in other people's homes, but not everyone can learn fei.
Gu Ailing's mother said:
"Ailing thinks her father is a Harvard graduate, I am a Stanford graduate, her grandfather is also a Stanford graduate, she feels that she must also go to Stanford, every time she says something like this I tell her you don't have to go to Stanford, you go to any school as long as you like, but more importantly, you never give up studying for the rest of your life." 」
The whole paragraph, only the last sentence I can learn, the previous I do not deserve. At this moment, I finally understood and admitted that chicken soup was the best.
In fact, for a ski champion and Forbes elite who has been admitted to Stanford, her mother is 100% correct in talking about any educational philosophy and method in a backward way.
But if you listen to it, don't take it seriously!
I imagined that if one day I was eating and eating, I suddenly put down the dishes and chopsticks in my hand and seriously said to my son: "You don't have to go to Tsinghua, you can go to any school as long as you like it"... I'm afraid that he will immediately say: "I didn't want to go to Tsinghua"... Neurosis, I don't want face.
Nor can we all blame Chinese parents for not being able to "create a relaxed child-rearing environment" like Gu Ailing's mother, because most children are not as energetic and self-disciplined as Gu Ailing.
Why do some children have clear goals at a young age, know what they want, and in what direction do they rush, while most ordinary children don't know this at all?
Come to think of it, well, the problem is still in me and the child's father, mainly in the child's father.
If his father had graduated from Stanford, and he had been whispering in his ear every day about how Stanford's ducks paddled, I think my son would have been able to aspire to Stanford at the age of two and a half.
So, when you usually want to train the baby, don't always think about how good Gu Ailing is, you have to first think about how good Gu Ailing's parents and even grandfather are... Thinking about it, I was relieved, and suddenly I felt that my child was still quite good.
Some people will often take the autobiographies of the parents of some famous high-achieving students, parenting experience, and success secrets to give contemporary parents a "lesson", I think it is not necessary.
You see Gu Ailing is successful enough, how many times can you learn the parenting concept of other mothers.
Chinese pay attention to the time, location, and people to achieve things, in fact, parenting is also about these three things, which are implemented in the corresponding situation: genes, methods, and luck.
Gu Ailing has an ancestral bully gene and inherited the movement gene from her mother. In itself, it is more convenient and efficient than ordinary people to contact some ways and methods, which is that genes have won at the starting line.
Therefore, parents who are not genetically good at their own will not force their children to suddenly have genetic mutations in the future, the probability is not too high.
Speaking of methods, Gu Ailing's mother's method is very loose on the surface, and even no method, but you taste, you taste, the master is very methodical in the bones, and found a method that is very suitable for himself, which is very lucky.
Most parents and children get along without a way, there is no way to educate, and they may spend their whole lives in a muddy parent-child relationship, whether they succeed or fail depends on luck.
This brings us to the third important element: luck.
Some people say that any success is the result of hard work, and by luck it is a speculator. That's a bad thing to say. Luck, from personal planning to the change of society as a whole, will affect everyone.
To give a small example: the sudden reform of the policy at the beginning of the small ascension in the past few years will instantly reverse the road that many children have been paved by their parents, and their lives are likely to turn in another direction, which is the "time" that Chinese has always been devoted.
Everything will be easier only when each "time" is in its favor.
Of course, in the final analysis, even with the above three points, it still requires continuous persistence and hard work to laugh to the end.
So we can conclude that no matter what the genes, the method, the luck, in short, it takes effort. This is why now the whole people chicken baby, even aimless chicken baby, directionless chicken baby, anyway, can not stop the chicken baby, but under the premise of the same chicken baby, the child is still divided into jagged, that is, the gene, the method, the luck of the problem, no wonder who, not whose fault, let go of themselves.
But Gu Ailing's mother's parenting story tells us one thing: a truly excellent baby does not need her mother to work so hard to chicken.
In fact, this is the more important thing we need to learn from her: mentality.
We don't need a child, this or that, we just need him to have his own strengths and pursuits. Focus, inquiry, and continuous learning are the ultimate goals of educating a human cub.
In a child's long and uncontrollable life, which mother can be 100% sure which way will succeed or fail, so the good or bad mentality has become a relatively controllable switch under the premise that other variables are uncontrollable.
Many children who may have been excellent will be strangled in a bad mentality of quick success, disrespect for the laws of nature, and disrespect for children's choices.
And many babies that seem to be gifted, but instead will be because of the good mentality of their parents, not forcing, not urging, not degrading, under the right grasp, it exceeds the original expectations.
So mothers don't have to feel anxious because they see so many excellent children, and in contrast, their children are very mediocre and have little hope of controlling, but it is very likely that all of this will change subtly because you simply adjust your mentality.
In the past, people may often save themselves by silently reciting "biological", but in the future, we have more choices, we can silently recite "I am not Stanford", "his father is not Harvard", so as to ease the parent-child relationship.
At this time, I finally suddenly realized that this was exactly the way Gu Ailing's mother taught us parenting.
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