If you are terminally ill, do you want your lover to share happiness and suffering with you, or do you want to find a way to keep your lover away and bear all the pain alone? For many people, this is a tough choice.
In fact, both morally and in terms of the consequences, both options are desperate. Whether it is to the lover or to oneself, it will cause unparalleled harm. Some hurts come from public opinion, and some hurts come from inner feelings and obsessions.
No matter how many paths stretched by tragedy, they will always be tragedies, and this is the field effect of tragedy.
"Never Lose My Love" is a novella by the famous writer Wang Shuo. In his writing style, this kind of tear-jerking tragic novel is still relatively special.
Whether it is a movie or a novel, the theme of terminal illness is a very common theme. Some terminal illness themes simply stay on the natural development of the terminal illness, some follow the reactions of the terminally ill lover and family, and some mainly revolve around the choices made by the terminally ill person himself. The purpose is to arouse the empathy of the reader or the audience, and to achieve the purpose of tear-inducing.
"Forever Lost My Love" adopts the same terminal illness theme, and mainly revolves around the third line of thought. The novel is also full of sadness and sympathy, and it is also tear-jerking.
But in addition to being moved, the novel also puts forward a lot of reflections. The first is to reflect on the choices made by patients, and the other is to reflect on the social effects and human nature caused by them. Rather than simply sensationalizing for the sake of sensationalism, this novel is clearly more deep and highly advanced. After reading this novel, both emotions and thoughts can be sublimated.
The protagonists of the novel are Why Lei and Shi Jing. Both worked on a union site and belonged to grassroots workers.
He Lei is a truck driver who transports building materials such as gravel and cement. Ordinary life is informal, like to joke with colleagues, talk witty and humorous, and their relationship is particularly good. Drenched in the rain, soaked in muddy water, he not only didn't care, but he also enjoyed it. He was even more very helpful. When there was a fire in a unit building in the passing place, many people below were watching or laughing indifferently, only He Lei rushed directly into the fire without saying a word, and rescued the people who were caught in the fire.
It is precisely because of this cheerful and helpful personality that it has been favored by Shi Jing. Shi Jing's occupation is not explained in the novel, but her craft of clay work is particularly skilled. She is a very thoughtful girl and speaks softly. It was He Lei who had an awkward relationship with her, and she would soon forgive him. She is very soft and understanding at heart.
The two are often together because they work in one unit. Eat together at noon and go home together in the evening. Soon, he went from being in love to preparing for marriage. He Lei loved her very much, and she also loved He Lei. The love of the two is the object of ridicule and envy of all colleagues on the construction site. In the eyes of all, they are a pair made in heaven and earth.
The novel begins when the two are getting ready to get married. The two have submitted a report to their superiors applying for marriage and have prepared a marriage room. Every night back we would renovate the new house together.
Everything seems to be going so well. But this was only the calm before the storm. He Lei, because he had a long wound on his arm during the firefighting, did not go to the hospital for treatment in time. That night the wound began to bleed uncontrollably, and the next day it became suppurative and inflamed. Then physical fatigue and weakness begin to appear.
I don't know if it was because of this infection, or if this infection was just an opportunity, He Lei found out that he had a muscle weakness disease during the premarital examination. The muscle nerves gradually atrophied, and the muscles gradually fell out of the control of his brain. The body often feels tired and does not need to exert energy. Slowly, it will develop into paralysis and even death.
This is nothing less than a thunderbolt on a sunny day for He Lei, who is about to get married. Grief is secondary, and how to take the road ahead has become a crucial question. Whether to continue to marry Shi Jing or give up marrying her and not tell her that she is sick is a difficult choice.
However, He Lei is obviously a very assertive person. He did not let the doctor tell the unit the news of his illness for the time being, and temporarily concealed it. Then he began to think calmly and choose the direction.
At this time, wu shan, the doctor of the unit, appeared. Because she was also a doctor, she easily learned about He Lei's condition. Once at noon dinner, he saw that He Lei had not told Shi Jing about this matter. She was very angry. According to her opinion, she hoped to tell Shi Jing about this matter as soon as possible, and the two people would bear it together. She believes that Shi Jing is a human being, and she will definitely accompany He Lei to the end. Even after he dies, he will be widowed for him.
At this time, the news that a retired worker had committed suicide by swallowing drugs went viral in the unit. His colleagues were curious as to why he did it. Some colleagues said that he may have been emotionally injured and could not help but lose the loneliness of his wife, and did so for the sake of martyrdom. Some say it's like a swan, one swan dies and the other is martyred. This incident left a deep impression on He Lei.
If according to Wu Shan, He Lei can imagine the future scenario. Lying on his own bed, unable to move, Shi Jing had to take care of him every day and earn money to support his family. I couldn't talk to her, I could only lie weakly on the bed. In the long run, the pressure and mental torture that Shi Jing endured could be imagined. And after her death, according to Shi Jing's love for herself, will she end her life like a swan and go looking for herself? It was an ending he couldn't accept.
Another point is that if everyone knows their own situation, Shi Jing's performance will be pushed to the cusp. Her words and deeds at that time, her words and deeds in the future, will be always paid attention to. Everyone would stand on the moral high ground and comment on her behavior. Even if she loves him very much, if she is not careful, a certain behavior will be over-interpreted and subjected to countless so-called moral accusations. Taking care of herself as a living dead and bearing these insults, she may live in hell every day.
None of these possible outcomes are what He Lei wants to see. So he vetoed the path that Wu Shan had told him. He insisted that Shi Jing be dead to himself and then find a better home. It was the choice he ultimately made.
After He Lei made up his mind, he began to think of a way. At first, he sneered at Shi Jing from time to time, saying that she was hypocritical about herself, saying that she was annoying, and saying all kinds of insults to her. This has had an effect. Shi Jing was very sad and made up her mind to ignore him again. But after all, the two were feelings for many years, and when He Lei saw that Shi Jing was sad, his heart was very unbearable. So he spoke out to comfort him. Amuse Shi Jing with his own witty words. Shi Jing forgot his sadness when he was teased and reconciled with him again. In this way, sadness and reconciliation keep looping. He Lei finally couldn't make up his mind.
However, He Lei's condition developed very rapidly. Once he drove a truck, he even had no strength in his hands to turn the steering wheel and step on the brakes, which almost led to a car accident. It was still Wu Shan who arrived in time and injected him with the potion, so that he could recover his mobility slightly. This made He Lei realize the urgency of arranging Shi Jing's life after that. So He Lei directly adopted a trick to draw salaries from the bottom of the pot.
He first coldly shi jing, squeezed Shi Jing with words, and then told her that he had a new lover and he did not want to marry her again. He not only said this to Shi Jing, but also turned all the spearheads of public opinion at himself. He said this in public with his co-workers and colleagues. This not only made Shi Jing very sad, but also many colleagues also began to criticize him.
The last night the two were together, Shi Jing was exhausted, in pain, and even a little crazy to the point of enchantment. He Lei did not comfort her and make her happy again as before. Because at this time, his body was close to collapse. He endured pain from all over his muscles all the time. He was already semi-paralyzed.
When he appeared at the construction site the next day, his so-called "absurd" things had spread at the construction site and became a hot topic at that time.
I don't know where they got so much hatred, the big mother who cooked didn't feed her, and the workers deliberately bumped into him on the road, causing him to almost fall. No one wanted to sit with him during the meal. Accusations and insults against him were on all sides. But who knows that at this time, he can only barely pick up the bowl, barely lift the chopsticks, and even bring food to his mouth has become a problem. He struggled to even get up and leave the canteen. His every move is suffering from inhuman suffering.
In fact, what did his affair with Shi Jing have to do with these people? Whether the two are together or break up, it is a choice made between two adults. Moreover, there were only a few people he really knew on this construction site who could be called friends, and the others were just nodding friends, or even strangers. Where did they get the courage to do this?
A person's nature is almost fixed, and it is impossible to suddenly change at once. There is also a process to change. People who really know him well should be able to find some clues in his changes, but none of them. They don't investigate the cause, and they don't care why.
They have finally found a way to have fun in their dull and tasteless lives. They have finally found an opportunity to prove themselves to be morally noble people in ordinary life. This is the "moral thug".
I don't know if they will regret it a little when they learn the true situation of He Lei. This was the fire that He Lei encountered at that time, and there were obviously two people in the house who reached out of the window to ask for help, but no one went up to save people. They're just pointing, they're just laughing. For them, the death or death of others is just a kind of talking point, just an episode of life.
What is even more ridiculous is that when the doctor Wu Shan helped him into the health center, a large number of people gathered outside the health center to attack him. In order to give He Lei a little comfort and sympathy, Wu Shan and He Lei held hands in public. She told them that she was He Lei's new lover. She wanted to help him share some of the pressure. The group of people outside actually took some eggs and vegetable leaves and threw them at the two of them desperately. How ironic the scene was.
Finally, He Lei's purpose was achieved. He was relieved to follow Wu Shan to the hospital and began treatment. However, this disease is a terminal disease after all, few people can be cured, and death is the ultimate destination. In this way, in a few months, He Lei's condition had worsened to the point of lying on the bed and unable to move. The only thing he could move was his eyes, and the only thing he could do was cry.
At this moment, Shi Jing finally knew about He Lei. By this time she was already married to He Lei's friend. The two came to the hospital to see him together, and Wu Shan knew that the secret could not be hidden. In fact, according to He Lei's idea, he wanted to wait until after his death to make the matter public. But where in the world are there impermeable walls?
Wu Shan turned He Lei's head in the direction where he could see the door. The novel ends with He Lei and Shi Jing looking at each other with tears in their eyes.
In He Lei's view, this is the only choice, but this choice is also full of harm. His reputation plummeted and he became the object of scorn by everyone. Although he attracted the pressure of public opinion, it was not only him who broke up with his fiancée for Xinhuan, but also Shi Jing. When others accused him, Shi Jing actually became a joke in the eyes of everyone. In the eyes of others, there is actually no difference between the two.
For Shi Jing, being abandoned as an answer is much more serious than announcing that he is ill. For lovers, emotional infidelity is more important than anything else. If she had always thought it was true, it would have been a heart problem that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Her heart-wrenching lungs when she learned of her abandonment had fully illustrated the problem.
In addition, Shi Jing may have been disheartened at that time, and the other lover she found under the gamble was really the person she loved? Can the choices she makes so casually really bring her happiness? And when she understands all the truth, what kind of guilt and self-blame will arise in her heart? Will she really be able to live the rest of her life in peace? This harm between lovers is far greater than the accusations of the masses.
Another point is that He Lei did this but completely miserably pit the doctor Wu Shan. Her future reputation was completely ruined. She may always have to bear the name of a little three. And He Lei's friends will also feel guilty about their accusations at the time. Especially this friend who married Shi Jing. How will he treat himself in the future? How did he face Shi Jing?
Is such a big injury and consequence really worth it? Something that could have been completely avoided would have to cause such a wide range of damage. In contrast, the advice given to him by doctor Wu Shan is more reasonable. It's better to go with the flow than to be self-defeating.