Traveling to a hotel, at more than one o'clock in the morning, suddenly a woman came knocking on the door. She was fashionably dressed and beautiful, and I yawned and asked her if she was looking for me for anything? She smiled and said

Traveling to a hotel, at more than one o'clock in the morning, suddenly a woman came knocking on the door. She was fashionably dressed and beautiful, and I yawned and asked her if she was looking for me for anything? She smiled and said, I'm right next door to you, I'm hungry and want to go out for a late night snack, but it's now more than 1 o'clock in the morning and I want you to accompany me. This beautiful woman must have wanted me to spend money to entertain, really want to be beautiful, I said, you still have to go to someone else. After saying that, I closed the door and went to bed.

2 Yesterday I met with my buddies to go to the pedestrian street, my stomach hurt in the middle of the road, I happened to see a public toilet, I didn't think about it and went in, after a bout of pouring found that I didn't bring toilet paper, that embarrassment ah!! With a stroke of genius, he knocked on the toilet next to him and said, "Next door buddy, can you give me some paper, I forgot to bring it." After waiting for ten seconds, I only heard an embarrassed voice of a sister paper: "Big brother, whether you went into the wrong toilet or did I enter the wrong place?"

3 Dad is a worker of Qingdao Volkswagen, and he often breaks his fingers when he works. Later, I bought a pair of gloves, which was much more convenient to work. It was night shift that day, it was raining, and Dad took a taxi home. When I got into the car, my father felt a little cold, so he took out his gloves and put them on. The driver saw it in the rearview mirror and asked with a look of trepidation: "Big brother, what are you doing here?" Dad: "Oh, I'm used to wearing gloves every time I work, so I don't cut myself or leave a trace." "The driver was frightened at the time, immediately threw the car and ran...

4 In order to curry favor with our big boss, I married his ugly 190-pound daughter. A year has passed, and it seems that it is going to be the sixtieth birthday of my mother-in-law. I spent fifty thousand dollars and bought her a thousand-year-old ginseng. After dinner in the evening, I asked my son, "Tomorrow is Grandma's sixtieth birthday, what gift are you going to give her?" The son said, "I bought a packet of salt for my grandmother." I asked, "Why?" The son replied, "Because Grandma likes to eat salt, she always says that she eats more salt than I eat." ”

5 Bought a "old man's music" for the old man, and the old man used it as a baby bump. I didn't expect to be kissed by a luxury car on the first day of driving out. The old man angrily asked for 500 yuan for repairs. The luxury car driver said in surprise: "Wipe off this bit of paint, it will cost 500 yuan, you are too lion to open your mouth, right?" The old man said, "You're still too expensive?" It's my car's first kiss, cheap enough for you. ”

6 My son is in the third grade, and today he will give out his midterm exam results. Aquaman: How many points did you score this time? My son said to me proudly: One million. Aquaman didn't believe it and said, "I'll look at your exam paper." The son handed the scroll over, and the sea king was particularly angry when he saw it: You have scored fifty-five points, how can you say that it is a hundred. Son: Dad, according to math, this is called rounding.

7 The wife is a rich woman, who has been rich and powerful since she was a child, and has never been short of money. Later, I married my wife, because I couldn't get the bride price money, so I acted as an upside-down door. As a man, you should not worry about this and that with your wife, you must be manly!! I don't care that this week I was punched in the face by my wife three times, caught six times, kicked eighteen times, bitten three times, and confiscated eighty-three pieces of fifty-cent pocket money. Men have to be generous!!

8 Never mess with your mother, or even your father will clean up. On Saturday morning, the family got up early, the atmosphere was warm, Dad prepared breakfast, Mom cleaned up the room. Suddenly, my brother finished washing and dressed up in front of the mirror, and my mother passed by and said, don't take pictures, no matter how you take pictures, it is so ugly, he said unconvincedly that I was born by you. Mom gave a blank look and said, That's your father caused, if I hadn't turned the tide alone, you wouldn't have known what the ugliness would have been. Dad continued to bow his head and silently make breakfast.

9 The old man took an old object from home to the TV station treasure hunting program to let the experts determine how much it was worth! The expert took a look at the knife and said: You this thing is not worth anything! The old man said unconvincedly: It is impossible, this is handed down from our ancestors, it is absolutely a genuine antique, with a history of hundreds of years! The expert smiled slightly and said: You are indeed an antique, but it is not worth anything! The old man asked: Why? The expert pointed to the old object and said lightly: If I am not mistaken, your whetstone was handed down from the Qing Dynasty, right?

10 Yesterday my aunt introduced me to a sister and said that she would meet today. Sister: If you sat on the bus and saw an old man who wasn't sitting, what would you do? Me: I'll give him a seat because I hope someone will give me a seat when I'm old. Sister: We are not suitable, let's go first. I was dumbfounded, not knowing what the situation was. Me: Why? Sister: Are you ready to squeeze the bus when you are old? It's really not going to work. 

11 I have a lover, very beautiful, I not only bought her a house of more than three million, but also equipped her with a more than a million ladies sports car, let her hang a position in my company, the monthly salary of thirty-five thousand to drive her, even if it is her pocket money, do not need her to really go to work!

But I just valued her beauty and didn't really want to be with her, and in my heart, a woman like her who was good and bad was not suitable to marry me as my wife, and my family would not agree. So I'm just playing with her!

But she was not willing, she wanted to marry me, find a long-term meal ticket, often argue with me about this matter, and as a result, I slowly became disgusted with her! Later, she gambled to find a man, lived with her in the house, and then went to the company to hand in her resignation. I didn't care, asked the finance to give her three hundred thousand, and liquidated the relationship.

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