Most families have children's surnames on their father's side, which is a habit that many families are accustomed to.
With the progress of today's society, people's ideological concepts have changed, no longer adhering to the concept that children's surnames must follow their fathers, and advocating equality between men and women.
With the liberalization of the two-child policy, many families have two babies, so they also pursue equality on the issue of surnames, with the surname of Dabao with the father and the surname of Xiaobao with the mother.
This does make both parents satisfied, but for the child, will it feel different?
Many parents may not know what impact a surname has on their children, and they always feel that it does not matter, but according to the reality of the situation, two children with different surnames really have a great difference in their children's lives.
1. The degree of love that families love their two children varies
Girlfriend Tang Tang had two children, and when the children were named, one was with her husband's surname, and the old and young followed her surname.
At first, the couple thought it was good that each person's last name could be reflected in the child. However, after the name was named, I found that the love that the two children received at home was really different.
Psychologically, people have a psychologically reinforced subconscious, that is, they will decide the scope of the right to belong and the scope of their own exercise of rights through the surname.
Although such behavior is unconscious, it is more likely to reflect the essence of human nature.
Take this surname, Tang Tang's in-laws have a special love for Dabao with the same surname as himself, and they are reluctant to scold, and they try their best to buy good food and fun for their children every day.
Because their old people believe that Dabao has the same surname as themselves and has his own true bloodline, this enhanced potential has stimulated more love for the elderly, which will lead to more preference and attention to Dabao.
Wait until the second treasure is born, although the mouth says the same love, but obviously not as good as the heart of the big treasure, buy snacks and buy toys are first thinking of the big treasure, the big treasure plays the rest before giving the second treasure.
This couldn't help but make Tang Tang very helpless, and even questioned whether it was the right thing to let Erbao follow his surname in the first place. It is even more that every time he sees the second elder expecting adults to pay more attention to his eyes, his girlfriend Tang Tang really can't say the self-blame.
2. Suffer from different public opinions
Everyone agrees more with the surname and the father, which is the same blood relationship that we identify with. Therefore, following the father's surname will make the child suffer less pressure from public opinion in front of outsiders, and the child's inner sense of security will be more fulfilling.
Their sense of security is satisfied, and their growth path will be simpler and happier, and they will be full of love and satisfaction around them. If the surname follows the mother, it may suffer more from outside discussion, and the child grows up in such an environment, which will inevitably produce inferiority and sensitive emotions.
I always feel that my surname will bring a lot of trouble, and at home, because my surname is different from Dabao, I think it is the preference and snub of my parents, which is very unfavorable to the psychological construction of my children.
How to deal with the impact of different surnames on children?
1. Correctly state the reason for the surname
The understanding of the elderly and children on the surname, there may be deviations, we need to correctly look at the problem of the surname, tell them that the surname does not represent anything, with whom the surname is recognized, no matter whose surname, the child is legally recognized.
2. Don't be partial to your child because of your last name
The last name is just a name that does not affect any love and does not make any difference. In the eyes of parents, children are their own, the palms of their hands are flesh, whether it is following the last name of their mother or father, parents should give back the same love and care.
Treat the status of the two fairly, get the same care, let the two children live happily and simply, and because of this equality, the whole family will be more harmonious and warm.
In the new era, our perspective on things should also be open and inclusive, it does not matter whose surname the child takes, as long as the parents negotiate well, the same love for the child is the most important, you say?