1
There is a little friend in the family, with a lively and likable personality, but there is a small problem in learning:
When you don't care about her, you haven't moved after writing homework for an hour or two, and you can't help but play when you write;
But you sit next to her, but the efficiency is extremely high, the next pen is like flying, and any homework is easy to do.
Her mother complained, "What a headache! I can't keep staring at her..."
I thought about it, this is the child's concentration problem.
Strong concentration, can study for a long time, can withstand annoyance, calm breath.
Poor concentration, can't keep up with lectures in class, running away from homework, and doing things for fear of being disturbed.
In fact, whether children or adults, attention is the most important resource.
Money may be important, but it can't be exchanged for time; whether rich or poor, everyone has only 24 hours a day, and their lives are only a few decades.
Time is precious. But, if you think about it, we don't spend most of our day doing things.
Even during study and work hours, a significant percentage are chatting, chatting, dazed, deserting, and doing irrelevant things.
So: attention > time > money.
The biggest difference between an ordinary person and a cattle man is that he does not have time, but he cannot control his attention.
It's too easy to lose your mind, too hard to maintain concentration, and you can't keep your time engaged in something meaningful and productive that aligns with your goals.
2
Back to the above question, the child's concentration is not good, what is the reason?
The answer is simple, and has to do with the circumstances in which he grew up —more bluntly, it was decided by his parents or elders who accompanied him.
I have two children, Dabao Niu Niu 6 years old and Little Bao Ben Ben 3 years old.
Dabao's concentration is poor, he is writing, and when he hears a little noise, he runs over to join in the fun.
Xiao Bao has strong concentration, holding a small car to turn over, talking to himself, he can play for a long time.
Why is their gap so obvious?
The reason is that the parenting style is different.
When raising Dabao, he is always blind, and when the child plays, he can't help but remind or correct him, and his concentration is seriously damaged.
When it comes to the second child, it is basically left to the child to play by himself; in the middle, he will give him positive feedback, "Baby you are awesome!" ”。 Therefore, Xiaobao's ability to concentrate is strong and can be maintained for a longer time.
3
So, we have to think about:
Are you training your child's concentration, or are you destroying it?
A. Interrupt what the child is doing
B. Talk to your child as he learns and does things
C. Frequent urging, criticizing, and complaining
D. Engage in recreational activities while children are learning and doing things
Do you have any of the above behaviors that disrupt your child's attention? Do you often do this?
It is important to remember that if you always interrupt and remind, you are focusing on behalf of your child
In the long run, the child loses the ability to concentrate, and he cannot control himself without being reminded.
4
What exactly is concentration?
Let's explore the nature of "concentration":
1. Quick focus. Get into shape right away, without a lot of time brewing preludes, without rushing reminders.
2, do not desert. Less affected by the surrounding environment, immersed in learning and doing things, not afraid of interruptions.
3. Quickly retract attention. Even if you desert, you can detect it in time and quickly withdraw your attention.
These three abilities, in the final analysis, are all the ability to "manage thoughts."
If you think about it, our actions are all after the thought, and your thoughts will influence your emotions and manipulate your advances and retreats.
When idle and fine, the thought that comes out of the minds of ordinary students is: How boring, what fun is it?
The idea of the school bully is: I have to cherish the time, brush up on the questions, and consolidate the knowledge points.
People who love to lose their temper always have some obsession in their hearts, regard small problems as very serious, want face, or have a strange idea of "if you don't vent it, you won't be happy";
Cultivated people have one more thought, and when emotions come, he will ask himself, is tantrum helpful in solving the problem? Is there a better way?
In short, in the face of a specific event, you activate different thoughts and lead to the opposite action.
In a sense, the process by which we perfect our personality is the process of actively choosing positive, positive, and efficient thoughts, and then continuously shortening the "activation time" of these thoughts through deliberate practice, and prompting effective actions in a timely manner.
5
How to train your child's concentration?
There are many so-called "little tricks" and little tricks to train eyesight on the Internet, but in fact, they are all symptoms rather than causes.
According to the principle of "thought management" above, in fact, it is easy to find that the ability to focus is the ability to quickly activate the thoughts that help "concentrate attention and do things seriously".
I've been tutoring several of my relatives' children lately, and I'm trying to train their attention:
The first step is to design the "idea".
The 3 "positive thoughts" I use most often to help my child focus are:
1, when I learn and do things, silently count down in my heart: "3, 2, 1, I am going to start learning now!" ", and then immediately started to write and start doing.
2, when someone next to me is talking, playing, making noise, silently saying in your heart: "I am not affected by others, even if someone is noisy, I can concentrate on learning, I am awesome!" ”
3, found yourself deserted, it doesn't matter, or silently countdown: "3, 2, 1, collect!" I'm going to keep up with the mission!" ", and then continue learning.
The second step is to consolidate with high-frequency review.
Before each study, take your child to review these 3 sentences.
Tell your child that if you can do it every time, it is great, not afraid of being disturbed by others, you will definitely become a master of learning!
When encountering the three situations of starting to learn, there is interference around, and desertion when learning, there is no need to urge or criticize, just remind him: What can we do now to be more attentive?
Usually he can answer those three sentences himself immediately and take the initiative to do it.
The third step is to positively evaluate yourself.
Every time you ask him how he can be more attentive, if the child can answer correctly, you must encourage him.
Every time there is noise around him, he can also learn, and there are fewer desertions, and he must also praise.
Secondly, every time you find that he has done it according to the above 3 sentences, praise his progress and tell him that he is on the road to becoming a master of learning.
Parents' criticism, reminders, and reprimands are often hinting at and reinforcing children's negative self-evaluation: I am not attentive, I cannot concentrate, I am a deserter.
(The most terrible thing is that after the parents have trained more, if the child really believes and believes that he is not ok, then how difficult it is for you to reactivate his self-discipline and self-confidence)
But our approach is to reinforce positive self-evaluation: I can do it! I'm awesome! My learning efficiency is getting higher and higher!
The ultimate goal is to make children feel happy about "being able to focus on things", and every time they concentrate on learning, they have a positive self-evaluation, so as to develop a good habit of concentrating on doing things.
6
How effective is this "concentration training"?
1, the stronger the child's own ability, the better the effect of this method.
The child who caused her mother a headache mentioned above, I tried to teach her, almost immediately.
After learning these 3 sentences on the spot, the next one or two hours of study are almost completely deserted.
In more than an hour, I completed 5 pages of Chinese characters, 4 pages of Chinese language, and wrote a diary, even if several people next to me spoke unconsciously.
In the whole process, I did not urge or supervise her a little, all of which was done by herself.
However, she herself has good academic performance, a solid foundation, and less difficulty in doing homework, which is her advantage.
On the contrary, some children have a poor foundation, are very difficult to learn, and are prone to frustration, so they are more likely to be distracted and subconsciously give up focus.
2, the child has a serious distraction, but also can be significantly improved.
The aforementioned little day, learning chinese desertion is very serious:
Writing his homework, the person next to him said something completely unrelated to him, and he turned his head to look at it in a daze.
Several minutes passed, and I still kept that position still, forgetting who I was, where I was, and where I was going.
However, in the days of the New Year's holiday, he was still quite attentive to learning Chinese.
Occasionally desertion, just ask softly", "What should I do if I desert?" He was soon able to count down to 321 and start over.
3, long-term adherence to training, concentration will become stronger and stronger.
Over time, The concentration of Xiaotian has improved significantly.
At the beginning, there were more desertions, and now there are fewer times;
At first, it was difficult to withdraw my attention by desertion, and now I am very surprised that I can even learn from the 3 or 4 people next to me a few times.
This ability to focus is similar to building muscles, following the law of "use it and lose it": if you don't practice, it degenerates; when you train every day, it gets stronger and stronger.
At last
As mentioned above, let's not spoil our children's attention.
Because urging, nagging, and criticizing will never activate positive thinking, it will only stimulate children to have negative thoughts:
"Adults are so annoying, it's like chanting the scriptures every day!"
"I also know that I should study hard and not desert, but I can't help it, and I am also helpless!"
"Scold me all day long, don't you want dignity?" Scold me again, I don't do it! ”
Negative thoughts are also "used in and out of the way."
Repeat more, as soon as it comes to learning, it will activate all kinds of distractions, and it will become more and more difficult to concentrate.
This is why some children, after supervising and reprimanding more, their concentration is getting worse and worse, and they cannot learn independently without supervision.
Speaking of which, I want to explain that the 3 "positive thoughts" I mentioned above to train concentration are not the only ones, and you can design them according to the situation where the child often deserts, or the scene where it is most likely to waste time.
Second, if there are children who do not receive this kind of training, we do not have to force it. Children must be interested and willing to take the initiative to try in order to continue.
Learning to learn should be fun in itself.
Every child has the right to learn happily.
It is love that makes Einstein!