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Life is a one-way train from birth to death, with countless people coming and going along the way, and no one can accompany you through the whole journey. And in the process of your life, the closest to you are your parents and siblings.
We often say that our parents are here, life still has a place to come, parents go, and life is only a way back. Parents are the needles of a big family, a bridge between brothers and sisters.
Many families will have such a phenomenon: when the parents are alive, the brothers and sisters are harmonious and get along well, and once the parents leave one day, the feelings between the brothers and sisters are not as good as before, and the contact between the brothers and sisters is less and less, and finally they are strangers, and even turn against each other.
Such situations often happen for a reason.
First of all, parents are the backbone of their children and have absolute authority in their hearts. When there is a conflict between children, parents are the firefighters who solve the contradiction, can help us resolve the contradiction, stop the conflict, and let the children continue to live in peace with each other.
And once the parents die, no one has such authority, which can convince all the brothers and sisters, and the contradictions will naturally become bigger and bigger.
There is also a situation that the contradiction itself exists, but the children are worried about the mood of their parents, and when their parents are alive, they will not tolerate it and not let their parents worry. And once they die, they have nothing to worry about, naturally they do not have to suppress their emotions, and contradictions will erupt.
In such cases, one of the most common contradictions stems precisely from the parents, that is, the preference for a certain child. In a family with many children, although parents love each of their children, people's hearts are not computers, they can be accurately controlled, and the energy of parents is also limited, and a bowl of water is often difficult to level.
Between brothers and sisters, there is always the favored and the least favored.
The unfavored one tends to be jealous of the favored, but does not show it when the parents are there. And when the parents leave, this resentment will be transferred to the most favored brother and sister, and the natural relationship will become bad, much worse than before.
So if one day the parents are gone, the relationship between the brothers and sisters becomes cold, or even a vendetta, sandwiched in the middle of you, please be sure to do these three things, only in this way, can you really win.
One: Don't be the powder keg that causes contradictions
Even the dearest siblings, each with their own temper, we can't control the emotions and actions of others, but at least we don't want to be the powder keg that causes contradictions.
We often say that blood is thicker than water, when your parents die, your brothers and sisters are your dearest people in this world, what is the matter that cannot be sat down and discussed? As long as there is still love for each other in each other's hearts, then things will not develop to the worst step.
Even if there are some contradictions that cannot be resolved, you can choose to shelve them.
After all, although brothers and sisters are relatives and family members, they are not the people who live with you. If there is no way to love each other, then at least a peaceful dignity can be maintained.
Getting along with siblings is no harder than dealing with human relationships in the workplace. It's just that we often leave the worst temper to the people closest to us. You can have a sympathetic understanding of your colleagues and strangers, and why should you be critical to your relatives?
If your ability and authority are not enough to make you replace your parents and become the needle between that brother and sister, then please be yourself, at least do not let yourself become the powder keg that causes contradictions.
Second: Don't be a microphone to amplify contradictions, and put your mind on yourself
Some people are always good at passing on words, and when one of them says something bad about another person, he will immediately convey it to them, even if the other person is just saying angry words without a heart, it will be passed on to another meaning.
As a result, the relationship between each other will become more and more tense, and the contradictions will be intensified.
But if you think about it, is this really necessary? In life, even if you can't sway others, you should take care of yourself. Especially between brothers and sisters, who should be the closest and most trusted, why should they create rumors and stir up dissension?
To be a person, character is the first. Whether the parents are still there or not, whether the relationship between brothers and sisters is compatible or not, we should not be the microphone that amplifies the contradictions, this is the most basic practice.
Three: Don't put your life in relationships, just be yourself
Mr. Yang Dai said that the world is its own and has nothing to do with others.
It may take many years for us to understand this truth. Even parents, even brothers and sisters, are not enough to become our lifelong sustenance and dependence, so not to put the hope of life on interpersonal relationships is the most basic sobriety.
After people reach middle age, their parents are gone, their brothers and sisters have a vendetta, and if there is really no room for redemption, then look at everything and look down on it. Compared with being confined to complex interpersonal relationships, we should be more self-sufficient, only in this way can people have fewer regrets.
Parents are gone, brothers and sisters are the dearest people in the world, no matter what kind of contradictions have ever existed, if there is still room for relaxation, they should smile and get along well.
Only in this way can the parents under the Nine Springs be at ease, and only in this way can they live up to the blood relatives in this life.
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