In many families around us, Grandma has become the main force with babies. Because the child's parents are busy with work, they can only ask the elderly in the family to help take care of the child, but what we see is basically the figure of the grandmother, where did the grandmother go?
After Duoduo was born, it was always his grandmother who personally brought him up, so Duoduo and his wife naturally had a good relationship. As for Grandma, there wasn't much of an impression in his mind, remembering only that occasionally Grandma would come to the house to see her, but would soon leave.
He had heard Grandma and Dad on the phone the other day, presumably meaning grandma was older and was ready to move in with them so that she could take better care of her. Duoduo was a little unhappy, and asked his father directly: Why did my grandmother take me, but in my old age, I let my grandmother enjoy happiness?
Toto's father seemed a little embarrassed for a while, but he quickly told Toto that because this was Grandma's home, Grandma could come and go as she wanted. After saying that, I did not forget to add that this is China's adopted child to prevent the elderly, the grandmother is old, and I, as a son, naturally want to raise her.
It doesn't sound inappropriate to say that Father Duoduo's words are indeed a son, and he has the obligation to support his parents in mainland law.
But this is obviously the home of Mom and Dad, Grandma usually does not show up, and now she just needs them to think of coming back, why has this become Grandma's home?
Why do some parents think the same way as Dad Toto?
1. Preference for sons over daughters
The idea of son preference has been passed down to this day, because the status of men in a family is supreme, so their parents are as good as their own home in a small family, and they are worthy of the name.
But for the woman, it is different, the girl who marries out spills the water, and the woman is a member of the man's family after marriage, not to mention the woman's parents. Their children are in small families and naturally only appear as guests.
2. Surname inheritance
Although some children now have the surname of their mother, most children still follow their father's surname, which in some ways seems to exclude the mother from the family, after all, women are the only people with foreign surnames in the family.
Therefore, many men's families will have a strong sense of superiority, and in the mainland, they have the idea of raising children and preventing the elderly, whether it is parents or children, they all believe that boys should bear the responsibility of their parents' pension.
How will the practice of many fathers affect children?
1. Affect the growth environment
In fact, there are many families like Duoduo around us, when the little couple needs the help of the elderly the most, the grandmother does not pay attention, but when the child grows up, the grandmother suddenly appears and wants to enjoy the success, which naturally makes the woman feel unhappy.
Because daughters-in-law have no obligation to support their in-laws, they also have no reason to take their in-laws who have not helped them in the slightest. Over time, the two young couples will inevitably have conflicts, which will not only affect the feelings of husband and wife, but also affect the growth environment of children.
2. Affect the child's concept of right and wrong
Although we say that the elderly do not have the obligation to bring grandchildren, children have the simplest emotions, they can clearly feel who is really good for themselves, so they will invest the same feelings in each other.
But if the father forces the grandmother who the child usually has no contact with to establish feelings, even instills in the child's ear the idea that the grandmother also loves them and is good to them. Then the child's concept of right and wrong will be confused, they will think that there is no point in giving and working hard, and family affection can be obtained for free.
Of course, we do not deny that parents should let their children know how to respect the elderly, but at the same time, we must also let children learn to be grateful. This is not only reflected in family affection, but also in other aspects of life, after all, there is an old saying on the mainland, repaying morality with virtue and complaining with resentment, and how to repay morality with virtue? Only by becoming a grateful person can children know how to cherish more and become better.