At the beginning of another year, some families will face the pain of "separation" and "missing", they are some "migrant families", such families in China, whether rural or urban, there are many, many. In order to make a living, young parents leave their children and even babies to the elderly in their homes, and they go to other places themselves, returning once a year or even once a few years.
Ms. Liu is a third-grade homeroom teacher in a rural area, and many of her classes are left-behind children, but two of her students give her a headache, one is the lonely and introverted girl Qingqing, and the other is the naughty and domineering boy Lele. For example, when the teacher finds Qingqing to speak in class, Qingqing always keeps his head down, whispers, whispers to the teacher standing next to him, can't hear clearly, only sees the small mouth move slightly, Qingqing is often a person, never talks to and plays with other students, the teacher also finds her to enlighten many times, but its effect is not good.
And Lele is not poking people with a pen during class, or looking for someone to talk to, or playing with things, and can't stop for a moment, and often there are classmates who complain to the teacher, either bullying this classmate, or scolding that classmate, the teacher has a soft-spoken reasoning about the measures taken by Lele, and there are also angry yells, but it doesn't work for him at all. Teacher Liu has also repeatedly reported such a situation to the grandparents of these two students, and has also contacted their parents who are far away from home, but because their parents are in other places, education cannot control the children. Teacher Liu was at a loss for this.
Left-behind children are prone to two extremes in personality: one is extremely shy, introverted, and shy of expression; The other is particularly mischievous and difficult to discipline. The former is insecure due to the absence of parents, showing introverted personality traits. In the latter case, it is mostly due to the inability of the left-behind guardians to discipline, and the parents are beyond the reach of the whip, so that they are naughty and domineering.
"Frozen three feet, not a day's cold", the above two situations are the reflection of left-behind children who have not been valued for a long time, have no restraints, and give up on themselves in their hearts. Parents are the child's first teacher and the child's first target for social exercise. Children who lack social exercise often have difficulty escaping the burden of inferiority.
The child's self-confidence is built up little by little, and at the same time it is destroyed little by little. The root cause of left-behind children's inferiority lies in the fact that they have not been fully praised and affirmed for a long time, and when they make mistakes and are reprimanded, they do not have the comfort of their parents, so they have doubts about themselves, cowering and afraid of making mistakes and being criticized or ridiculed.
What accompanies low self-esteem is sensitivity, that is, excessive attention to changes in other people's emotions. A very normal behavior in others will make the left-behind children think more: Is he angry with me? Do you look down on me? Are you laughing at me? Such "sentimental" emotions accumulate and form personality disorders.
Left-behind children have a strong sense of loneliness and a lower level of self-awareness. Loneliness is a subjective emotional experience of loneliness, loneliness, loss, alienation, and dissatisfaction that arises from a child's self-awareness of his or her social and friendly position in a peer group. Social anxiety is derived from loneliness, and the level of self-awareness caused by social anxiety is low, and there are thoughts of self-abandonment that are not highly demanding of themselves. Once we encounter a fuse, it is easy to happen facts that we do not want to see.
Of course, not all left-behind children will have such an extreme personality, and a large number of left-behind children can still live, study and steadily step into society. But it is undeniable that the psychological problems arising from his left-behind era will still affect him for life. The difficulty of handling interpersonal relationships is a problem that many left-behind children face as adults, which has a lot to do with their growth experiences as children. If you have a cheerful personality when you are a child, you will be good at sociability when you grow up, and if you don't like to talk when you are a child, it will be difficult to change when you grow up. It can be seen that the growth experience of childhood not only affects the time at that time, but also profoundly affects the future work and life.