Introduction: In the process of children's growth, parents attach great importance to physical development nutrition, material needs, and attach importance to learning, often ignoring that with the development of the body, the psychology will also grow. The psychological growth of children and the development of feelings are also important in the formation of relationship personality. Each child in a family will have multiple adult attention, be pampered from an early age, and easily become self-centered.
Gradually grow up out of the family and other children contact, everything is in their own will, many parents always think that the age is still young, grow up is good, so many of the child's behavior does not care to think that it is a small thing.
Liu Qian's son Mao Mao is about to turn 3 years old, and a few days ago she took the baby to her aunt's birthday party, and her son brought an Ultraman who can transform. Mao Mao and the children of several other relatives played in the living room, began to put together building blocks, play a few cars, and then aunt's grandson Junjun proposed to play Mao Mao's Ultraman, who knew that Mao Mao snatched it and said "mine".
At this time, Junjun was not willing to show weakness, and when he saw that he could not grab it, he dragged his own blocks and other toys to his side, and did not let everyone play and say "mine". The two children are more than two years old, the dispute between them, the other three older children followed the disaster, which toy to take, junjun will say "mine", everyone can not play with any toys.
The aunt forcibly took out Junjun's toy, and the child burst into tears and was immediately in a mess. At the time of eating, the situation happened again, the two children quarreled again over a small chair, Mao Mao sat down first, and Junjun said that "mine" must be withdrawn. Mao Mao sat motionless without giving in, "I sit first is mine", Liu Qian helplessly pulled him up directly, and the dispute ended in Mao Mao's howling and crying.
Adults began to argue that now children are babies at home, selfishness is normal, and it is better to be older. Liu Qian and the mother of the community talked about this matter and expressed great concern about this situation, it is their own things to protect others from touching, not their own also have to fight, immediately go to kindergarten, how to get along with children.
There is a mother to teach her experience, before she went to kindergarten, and the teacher will correct it as soon as she arrives at the kindergarten. There is a mother who said that not necessarily, her child will soon be 5 years old and still love to grab toys with children.
01, possessiveness is inevitable for growth, the method is not right to affect growth
Children around the age of 3 with the development of self-awareness, the consciousness of belonging to the object, like to take things for themselves, most children, will be because of toys or something and children to compete. This is a normal phenomenon in the growth stage, that is, the possessive sensitivity period, which occurs around the age of 3 to 4, which is also an important development period for children to socialize.
Many parents do not care that it is better to be older, and some parents forcibly stop the behavior of scrambling or possession, and going with the flow or coercion is not conducive to the growth of children.
In a Korean variety show "Superman is Coming", there is a family with two boys, about 3 or 4 years old, and the two babies are 1 year old. In one show, two brothers competed for a doll, both said "mine", and the father watched from the side, without persuasion or stopping.
Directly took out a pair of scissors, took the doll that the brothers were fighting for, and a pair of scissors went down and split in two, at which time the two children were stunned and realized the seriousness of the problem. After a moment of silence, the brother said that he would not grab things with his brother in the future, and there were toys for the two to play with.
The father did not spend "one soldier and one pawn" to solve the dispute between the two children, which was also very effective, and the child said that he would not fight in the future. But this method has advantages and disadvantages, the advantage is to make the child realize that the consequence of the scramble is that no one can play with the toy, and perhaps this behavior will be corrected later.
The disadvantage is that the good toy is destroyed, the child will inevitably be sad, and the child will not follow this simple and rough solution when he encounters problems in the future. Or there is such a mentality, what I can't get destroys it, and others can't have it, which is a more serious problem. There are also children who will no longer compete in the future, but they are forced by the pressure of the destruction of the toy, not from the fundamental consciousness to understand why they cannot compete, and do not know what is the best way to get along with children.
02, the correct countermeasures, to help children through the sensitive period of possessiveness
The child's understanding from "me" to "us" needs a process, although this stage will pass, possessiveness will gradually disappear, but this is also the child's growth opportunity, parents should use reasonable countermeasures to guide.
Method one: Not mandatory
If the baby is facing a fight for a toy, or the object is very strong, at this time forced to give up or share, the child will be afraid of losing, more want to protect the items in his hand.
Let him understand that his own toys, even if they are temporarily played with by children, will be returned, or their own, so that he can establish a sense of security. Also guide, do not belong to their own toys or items, must be discussed with the other party, after obtaining consent can not move.
Method two: reduce the enthusiasm for robbery
Usually children are not necessarily competing for valuable items, and perhaps they cannot be more ordinary. In this case, you can prompt the child that he has similar items in his own home, help him recall, and when he gradually realizes that he may be better than this, he will reduce the enthusiasm for robbery.
Method three: Distract the focus
If the child and the child are competing for items, he really does not have, to guide him to say the reason for liking, if the conditions allow to meet the child.
Tips: If it can't be satisfied in time, you can spread his focus on other things.
Method four: Swap
A more effective way to solve the problem of grabbing toys can guide children and children to discuss and exchange their own toys with each other. Solve the embarrassment of snatching, but also satisfy the child's curiosity, two people can share other people's fun toys.
Message:
In fact, many of the child's personality cultivation stems from some insignificant behaviors from childhood, the child's emotions and personality are gradually developed from small things to maturity, whether the parents guide or guide the direction directly affects his behavior and personality when he grows up. Therefore, in the period of strong possessiveness of children, going with nature and compulsion are not conducive to growth, and the correct way to guide can promote the development of communication skills.
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