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"A teenager in Nanyang Sheqi ran away from home for 600 miles", "Jiujiang boy ran away from home at the age of 17"
Seeing these news, most parents may be a little glad that "my children will not be like this", but I would like to say that children who "run away from home" may not only exist in the news, maybe our children have or do have the idea of "running away from home".
Baidu Tieba has a "run away from home", 40,000 people pay attention, most of them are minors, nearly 90,000 posts are about "how to run away from home", "how to survive away from home", "how not to be discovered by parents" and other content.
Another post bar, "Strategies for Minors to Run Away from Home", has a small number of followers, but four hundred posts are all underage children "grouping" to run away from home.
What's even more frightening is that these post bars are mixed with some people with different purposes, black-hearted intermediaries, human traffickers and people with special fetishes.
They are well aware of the psychology of underage people who need to care about companionship, and encourage, tempt and even leave contact information to teach children how to successfully run away from home.
These dark shadows hidden at one end of the network know that their behavior is vulgar and wrong, and they are not ashamed but proud.
In 2016, the Ministry of Public Security's emergency release platform for missing children -- the reunion system, which accessed 25 platforms including Taobao, Alipay, and Baidu.
In 2018, the reunion system released a total of 3419 pieces of information about children's disappearances, of which 1990 ran away from home, accounting for 58% of the number of lost children. （1）
Children are far more away from home than we think, and "missing" children may be right next to us.
Through behavioral analysis, the four types of children's exodus are summarized:
Evasive type
In a family environment that is not conducive to the healthy development of physical and mental health, they are often harshly scolded and scolded, their learning is poor, and they leave in order to avoid being scolded, and most of them run away from home in this type.
Retaliatory type
Received or perceived as being treated unfairly by parents and retaliated by running away from home.
Aspire type
Being overly spoiled and lacking due guidance and education, worshiping "personality" and "freedom", and running away from home to pursue their "ideals"; or because of long-term neglect, eager to be concerned, coupled with incorrect guidance in network society, TV series, etc., children want to do some "cool" behaviors to attract attention.
Blind obedience type
Out of curiosity or credulous belief in other people's words, such children are very simple and often regret it after leaving.
Adolescent children crave a sense of group belonging, build friendships with peers, and sometimes accept group advice and do things they regret even if they know it is not right in order to get the approval of their peers.
Why did he run away from home
Zhou Mingxiong, associate professor of Anhui South Medical College, has long been engaged in pediatric clinical and teaching research, and he has analyzed the personality and psychological characteristics of 56 children who ran away from home.
The survey concluded that the tendency to be irritated, emotionally unstable, impulsive, irrational, adventurous, poor adaptability, and lack of concern for others may be the basis of children's personality when they run away from home, and the reason for leaving is that the investigation shows that improper family or school education methods are the main triggers for children to run away from home. （2）
Adolescents are at a special stage of physical and psychological development, if education and treatment is not proper, the resulting psychological problems may constitute an internal factor of running away from home, while poor educational methods, family and social pressure, and the inducement of cultural media may constitute external factors for running away from home.
● Internal factors:
Children between the ages of 12 and 18 are in the psychological weaning period, the sense of adulthood and self-reliance begins to build, and the child begins to tear the psychological connection with the parents, and it is this rush to be independent that plunges themselves into conflict.
On the one hand, they always feel that the obedience to their parents is a kind of pressure and bondage; on the other hand, there is still a great degree of compliance, whether economically, spiritually or emotionally, they cannot get rid of their dependence on their parents, and when they encounter difficulties, they are very much looking forward to the help and comfort of their parents. Especially in the face of complex social conditions, it is very painful in the face of temptation and frustration. （3）
● External causes:
Parental reasons
1. The relationship between husband and wife is tense or there is disagreement in the cultivation of children, and the child cannot find his own position and is in an embarrassing situation, making the child unwilling to stay at home;
2. Children of single-parent families caused by divorce or other reasons will also be sought due to the lack of "love";
3. Excessive pampering of the child, unprincipled satisfaction of the child's desires in material terms, lack of correct guidance, once a conflict occurs, it is easy to lead to the child's exodus (4)
Community reasons
Communities, including schools, neighbours and others, are often victimized by some discrimination in the community for various reasons, such as excessive mischievousness, imperfect family structure, low learning ability, etc., causing them to lose their normal social life and "foothold" in their own communities and neighboring groups, and this powerful force silently suppresses the breathing space for children's personal survival, so that they will run away from home for various reasons in order to find a more suitable opportunity for their own survival and development.
The influencing factors behind children's run away from home are often complex, but in the end, they are inseparable from the family and parents. As parents, we are the support and backing of children, if even the last harbor of "family" has become a quagmire that they are eager to escape, where can children escape?
Resources
(1) "The United Nations Promotes China's "Reunion" System", China Net, 2018-10-16
(2) "Analysis of Personality Characteristics and Psychological State of 56 Children Who Ran Away from Home in Wuhu City", Chinese Behavioral Medical Sciences; Author: Zhou Mingxiong
(3) "A Preliminary Study on the Development Process of Adolescent Psychological Weaning", Psychological Science; Author: Fan Zhaolan;
(4) "Reasons why teenagers run away from home" title: motherland; author: Sun Yuguo
(5) "Investigation and Analysis of the Causes of Children Running Away from Home", Henan Academy of Social Sciences; Author: Zhao Weitai;
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