In married life, both men and women will encounter a lot of distress. Some men will say, "How does she have such a bad temper" and always pick my faults... Some women will say: Why doesn't she care about me at all, everything has to be brought up by me, forcing him, and then she will restrain a little? I'm so tired... Many troubles in marriage, people are physically and mentally exhausted, some people divorce, some people are decadent, and even some people are depressed, suicide...
Why is that? Is it character? Was it the wrong choice? Many people struggle to find the answer. In fact, running a marriage, like other careers, also needs to be learned. We need to understand the most essential things in running a good marriage, and we need to have an understanding of the essence of marriage.
First of all, why do human beings have a marriage system?
According to Marx's materialist point of view, the purpose of people's marriage is actually to increase productivity, improve production relations, and prevent the spread of sex. In a single-person society, it is not conducive to the improvement of social productivity and the healthy reproduction of human races.
1. Money is an important material basis for running a marriage
In feudal society, a lot of manual labor is needed to obtain food, and because it is not a society of free exchange of commodities, it is an independent and autonomous economy, which requires individuals to have a stronger ability to work, and at that time men have more productive value, so from social culture, family culture, men have a relatively high family status, and women are subordinate to men. From here, we can see an essence: a necessary condition for determining marriage is who can bring better living conditions to the family.
In modern society, men and women are equal, everyone is generally educated, and men and women have the opportunity to earn money. So if you want to have a higher status in the family, you need to have a higher income. Due to cultural constraints, men in general earn more than women. Money is an objective basis for determining the status and respect of men and women. If the income of boys is always lower than that of women for a long time, marital conflicts are relatively easy to produce, of course, this is not absolute, because people are also emotional animals. If you want to run a good marriage and be equally respected, the ability to make money is crucial.
2) Love is a key factor in marriage
When a man and a woman marry, in addition to the material conditions of both parties, they must also talk about love, and a marriage without love is not lasting and unhappy. But how to love? Especially for women, some of them value the feeling of love more. In marriage, in fact, women look at it the most and feel the only feeling. They are emotional animals, and they will be sensitive to this. On her birthday, do you remember it clearly as a husband? Did you send her a bouquet of flowers, or buy her favorite gadgets... When she was menstruating, did she ask for warmth, paste warm stickers for her, and let her point emotionally? ...... Women need to pay attention to a little form, and they are very comfortable even if they listen to some unrealistic "lies", because they are emotional animals, and they prefer to be pampered and spoiled in marriage. To say something that is not very good, they would rather believe gentle lies than rationally solve them. Some honest men will not, and scumbags will, instead, approve of the tragedy. This is actually not the sadness of women, but the sadness of men. Therefore, as a man, you need to appropriately create some "little romance" In fact, girls sometimes do not want much, nor are they expensive, they just want to know whether they are loved, pampered, and unique.
So how do women love men? Men are more rational and realistic than women. In fact, what men desire most in marriage is to be respected and adored. Even if his social status is low, he wants to be respected in the family. Except for a few men, in fact, some men in China are not afraid of hard work, as long as there is a wife at home to support him, appreciate him, and work overtime until how late, they are also willing. Therefore, women should reason with their husbands, must take proper care of their husbands' faces, and must not mention other male excellence in front of everyone, and say that their husbands are not... So if a man is respected, you can talk about his flaws at the right time. At the same time, as women, we must not do anything, we must learn to show weakness, encounter very heavy things, let the husband lift, change the gas, change the light bulb, even if they will, it is also an opportunity for the husband to do it. Learn to appreciate and praise your husband, good men are actually exaggerated.
3, sex is a catalyst for good feelings
Men are hungry for sex, and so are women. However, men pay more attention to visual stimulation, and the four characteristics are that they are fast and direct. And women value the warmth of love more, which is slow and lasting. I won't go into too much detail here. In short, a month, a week, a few good sex lives are very conducive to the feelings of husband and wife.
Finally, let's summarize:
The elements of a good marriage are: money, love, sex. The order of the two sides is different, and the focus and emphasis are also different. Overall, as a man, you have to learn to make money, and learn to take care of your lover, express. As a woman, learn to praise and appreciate your husband.