Recently watching the news, Tianjin aunt a sentence of "come on", broken defense; watch a TV series, good abuse of good feelings, broken defense; love beans singing is too good to listen, broken defense ...
Off the beaten track! The term "breaking defense" is one of the top ten buzzwords in 2021, which now refers to the emotional impact after encountering something or seeing some information, being touched deep inside, and the psychological defense line being broken.
What really makes us "break the defense" is the staff on the front line of epidemic prevention day and night; it is the firefighters who put down their uneaten meals and rushed into the fire to save people; they are also ordinary people around us who see the courage of the righteous and go to the sea to save drowning children.
In fact, the reason why we will "break the defense" is because of our emotional empathy. This empathy triggers our kindness to motivate us to help others, but sometimes kindness doesn't necessarily lead to good things.
If you want to really improve your ability to do good, you must think before you act. In other words, don't use sensibility to feel the other person's feelings, but use reason to consider the other party's considerations.
First of all, there should be more "cognitive empathy" and less "emotional empathy".
Compared with Zhuge Liang's good, people feel that Zhang Fei is better than Zhuge Liang; compared with Zhuge Liang's evil, people feel that Zhang Fei's evil is even more evil. It's the emotions that make people label others as a label.
Usually, we make decisions based on emotions and then go to justify that decision. Indeed, many times, once the coin is tossed into the air, the person who tossed the coin before the coin landed has the answer in his heart.
This is the role of emotions, and man is an animal that rationalizes things for emotions.
Cognitive empathy, on the other hand, refers to understanding the thoughts of others without being overly contagious to the emotions of others.
What you have to do is not to imagine what would happen to you if you encountered the same thing as the other person, but to think about what you would think if you were in the other person's position and position.
Recommended reading
"Getting Rid of Empathy" tells such a story.
Teachers at a middle school in the United States suspected that a 13-year-old girl was carrying drugs and demanded that the girl strip naked and be searched by female school workers.
Afterwards, the girls' parents wanted to go to court to sue the school for human rights abuses, and their first thought was to enlist the support of other parents in the community where the school was located.
There was a group of parents who were not very supportive of the accusation against the school, they believed that there must be something wrong with the girl, the search was justified, not to mention that only she and the girls were present at the time, and there was no one else, so it was no big deal.
Another group of parents is very supportive of the family's accusation against the school, they ask all parents to imagine that they are this girl, is in adolescence, sensitive, self-esteem, very worried that other students know that they are stripped naked by the teacher to search, what will the students think after this? Will it be excluded? Will you be ridiculed and bullied?
After such reflection, all parents agreed that the school's actions had indeed caused great psychological trauma to the girl and seriously violated her human rights.
So all the parents banded together to fully support the family in suing the school. The lawsuit shook the country, the school had to come out and apologize, and the girl won justice for herself.
"Getting Rid of Empathy" says that if you want to really do good things with good intentions, you must also be "effective altruistic". "Effective altruism" means that you have to think rationally and do something that can really help others.
Simply put, if you want to really help others, you should "use your heart" and "brain". The heart gives you the motivation to do good; the brain makes you think of a good course of action.
Cheers Publishing/Cham Lu Culture Free Empathy ¥51.9 Purchase