Written by Jin Ying (Chief Expert, Psychological Assistance, China Children's Fund)
This article is from the magazine Knowledge is Power
Emotions occur and change in us, leaving a shallow or deep imprint on all our activities. Why do emotions have so much power? Now, why do more and more people have "emotional colds", and how do we get along with emotions?
What is emotion?
Emotions are the product of people's beliefs and thinking reactions, and are metabolites of mental activity.
In the process of understanding and transforming the world, people interact with people and things in the outside world and have various connections. In this process, real things have more or less corresponding meaning to people, and people have a certain attitude towards these things. And this attitude of man to objective reality is expressed in the experience with certain special colors.
For example, successful completion of tasks will feel relaxed, good results will be happy, lost opportunities, friends or relatives will experience pain, sadness, see beautiful things will like, love; encounter danger or difficulty will be nervous, frightened, etc. These emotions are people's different reactions to things in different scenes.
Therefore, emotions can be simply described as a person's subjective attitude and experience of objective things.
How do emotions arise?
The Greek philosopher Epictitus pointed out that people are not disturbed by things, but by their views on things. Today, this view has been developed into "cognitive therapy." This therapy holds that the views you hold or choose influence and dominate your emotions, and that negative emotions arise when the views are irrational or irrational. So, what are some irrational thoughts?
Catastrophic psychological overcare
I always like to pick out the negatives of an event, exaggerate it inconsequentially, and think of the problem in the worst way. For example, "I am not welcome", it is actually just that someone criticizes you, and you can't even see the smile of others.
Sweeping
See the occasional negative event as endless, and think that it will happen often, such as "I never got good grades" and "I always had bad luck".
Discount the good things
Reject positive experiences as "not counting" and "nothing". Even if you complete the task yourself, you still think that it is only your own luck, you are not good enough, and others can do it or even do better.
Predict results haphazardly
Before the event has happened or has not yet come to an end, it subjectively and conclusively makes negative speculations and assertions about the development of events. If the exam has not yet been taken, say "I am sure I am finished" and "what if I fail".
Treat others with yourself
I always think I know what other people are thinking, such as "They don't see me as a friend."
Exaggeration
Exaggerate the seriousness of one's own problems or shortcomings, or overly despise one's own precious character. For example, "I'm too shy to be friends with anyone."
The above list is only a subset of irrational beliefs. In fact, the way to make yourself happy is very simple, that is, to realize that it is the opinion that determines the emotion. Change what you think, you can choose what you feel.
Learn to make yourself happy
What are the steps to change a person's beliefs and mindsets?
The regulation and guidance of emotions first requires "self-awareness", and it is clear what kind of emotional state they are in at any time and anywhere, that is, starting from knowing, understanding and analyzing their emotions. Another important thing is "understanding", that is, to clearly understand what kind of beliefs and values you have produced corresponding emotions. Then engage in self-speculation, find out irrational ideas, and make self-refutations.
Many times, people will be very stubborn to think that what they think is right, reasonable, and true, but ignore the harm that these ideas bring to themselves. So, it's important to remember that any thought that makes you unhappy is irrational and needs to be adjusted, no matter how plausible they may seem! When the rational concept prevails and sits firmly on the throne of the mind, then the person overcomes the emotion, the self.
Prescribe a "prescription" for the mind
Mood freshener: respiratory regulation
Breathing is an innate physiological function of everyone, but it is always neglected, in fact, breathing is a kind of "emotional medicine". When the mood is low, you may wish to do long inhalation and powerful exhalation exercises to gradually raise the emotions and slowly get excited. When the mood is high and angry, you can switch to a non-stop short inhalation, which can last for 3-5 minutes, and the mood will slowly calm down.
Emotional Ear Drops: Listening to music
Psychological research has proved that music can improve people's psychological state, eliminate tension, and promote the brain to work more orderly. When using music to regulate emotions, it generally follows the "homogeneous principle", that is, according to their emotional state, first listen to music with the same rhythm, melody, and emotions expressed, and then gradually transition to different music. For example, when sad, you can first listen to some lamentable and low sad songs, when the emotions resonate with the music, and send them to the music, the sadness has been properly evacuated, and then listen to the light, excited music.
Good Mood Recipe: Adjust your diet
Biologists point out that there is a fundamental link between food and emotions. Some people will eat a lot of snacks when they are in a bad mood, although this way is not good for the body, but when the mood is unstable, eating some foods that "save" the mood is still useful. For example, when there is stress and anxiety, chew a handful of nuts or eat some fruit.
Mood Correction Liquid: Color Therapy
Colors not only make the world colorful, they also heal people's hearts. Changing the environment and the color of the things you come into contact with is of great help to physical and mental health. For example, when you are depressed, you may wish to change the blue and white walls of your home to pink, change the furniture to warm colors, and decorate some vibrant flowers and hanging paintings.
Masseuse: Professional consultation
"Emotional cold" is not terrible, as long as it is channeled in time. But if you find that you have more than 2 weeks, the following 10 characteristics appear, do not delay, in time to seek the support of a professional psychological counselor.
(1) Significant and lasting emotional decline;
(2) Decreased interest, lack of pleasure even in engaging in activities that interest you on a daily basis;
(3) Lack of energy or obvious fatigue;
(4) The ability to concentrate is reduced;
(5) Self-evaluation and decreased self-confidence;
(6) The concept of self-sin and the sense of worthlessness;
(7) Think that the future is bleak and pessimistic;
(8) Have thoughts or acts of self-harm or suicide;
(9) Sleep disorders;
(10) Decreased appetite
"The tears that flow out are pearls, and the tears that are swallowed are poison." Emotions are like garbage that needs to be cleaned up regularly and cannot be suppressed and ignored for a long time. When you encounter problems, think from another angle, change your mind when you feel unhappy, and if you can't be happy about what you do, then boldly and timely ask for help!