The most typical characteristic of children in the rebellious period is rebellion - they do not listen to their parents and have to make their own decisions. Because with the gradual development of physiology, psychology and thought, children already have self-awareness and autonomous performance. This is the only way for children to grow up, indicating that when children grow up, parents should be happy.
However, there are two opposite sides to everything. It is a good thing that children grow up, but they bring the trouble of "no longer being by their parents and disobeying". Your care, your care, he ignores it at all, often as the wind in his ears. The ideas and requirements you put forward to him, he will not approve, naturally will not do. Even argue with you, resist, anyway, a look of not admitting defeat. If parents do not handle it properly, it is very easy to have conflicts with their children, twisting their mouths and faces is the norm, and moving is not talking to their parents for a month. If your parents want to do something with him, don't underestimate him, he doesn't care about three seven twenty-one, and he will accompany you to the end!
Because children have their own thoughts during this period, their physiological psychology is relatively mature, but their sense of independence is quite strong, and "my youth is my master" is their life creed. Therefore, in the face of adolescent rebellious children, the most taboo is the attitude of parents and children, the best choice is to be soft and rigid, really can't do it, keep silent, but we must continue to care for the child, what to do - let the child feel the love of the parents. And it is not to blackmail the child, you disobey, offend the parents, you will not get anything, eat badly, and wear clothes that will not be bought for you.
Tough attitude can change the weak and obedient child, but this is only temporary, long-term repression will make the child depressed, the future will inevitably cause the biggest shadow on the child's psychology, physical and mental development is difficult to develop. Xie Yuxian, who killed his mother at Peking University, is a bitter lesson. And the strong face of the stubborn character of the child, must be full of contradictions, conflicts, blindly hard, when the last straw crushed the limit of its psychological endurance, the child will be forced to go to the extreme - Lin Miaomiao in the movie "Young Pi" finally chose to jump off the building, and the tragedy in real life is even more together. Learn to respect the child, learn to let go, learn to understand the child, truly care for the child, the rebellious child will not go far.
Story Analysis:
Li Lei is the eldest son of his cousin's family, this year's second year of junior high school, my cousin is worried that he can't understand the new class at the beginning of the school, and asked me to give Li Lei a make-up lesson during the holidays. When he first came to my house, it was the first time I saw him a year later, he was much taller than last year, and I observed that he really paid attention to the image. I noticed he was wearing stockings and fashion shoes, and I had a vague feeling. Just after making up the class, I communicated with my cousin, and I only came out of my cousin's mouth, it turned out that Li Lei was very popular with girls in school, and there were many girls who confessed to him.
Their class teacher talked to Li Lei many times and told him a lot of big truths, and his cousin and cousin-in-law also did a lot of big things with him because of this matter. The cousin's words want me to enlighten Xiao Lei more, let him want to understand, want to open this matter, study well, the cousin said that Xiao Lei is in the period of adolescent rebellion. As the cousin of Xiao Lei's mother, she did not dare to say anything more, and sometimes she vaguely talked about these things during dinner, and Xiao Lei would be emotional and quarrel with her cousin. Yes, today's children mature relatively early, and for thirteen or fourteen-year-old boys who are in a rebellious period, it is really troublesome to educate.
If he talks a lot of truth, he may have a cocoon in his ears, and he won't be able to listen to it at all, and he won't even argue with you. In fact, I think the best way to solve this phenomenon is to accompany. Always care about the every move of the rebellious child, like a small sapling that has grown crooked, it is distorted by the wind, you break it in the right place for him, and watch his every move all the time. You can't always be reasonable, and you can't always argue over some problem, which will make him more rebellious. Or from the small things in life, some small details, patient guidance, the big truth listens to more, he can't listen to it, he will also listen to it. From the little things in life, change slowly! This could be a good choice.
Conclusion:
13-year-old boys are in the second so-called rebellious period, that is, the period when the child wants to be the master of the house, this stage, it is easy to break out of the problems in the early family education, for example, habits are not formed, ideological understanding is biased, the rules of education are not in place, and the child shows a kind of rebellion. Rebellious children behave as not listening to their parents, going their own way, doing whatever they want, being self-centered, not listening to the opinions of others, yelling at their parents in serious ways, and even running away from home. During this period, it is really impossible to scold, say well and do not listen. What to do?
Parents stop nagging, this period you have to treat the child as an adult, because he has grown taller, he is eager to dominate his own life, if it is still the parents to give him a daily plan, including learning, life, he is bound to be very troubled, we empathize, as adults, we like others to interfere with our freedom. Freedom is the deepest desire of children at this stage, so for children of this age, parents should change roles, shut up at the right time, and for the bad habits that children have developed in the early stage, it is advisable to be loose and not to block.
Encourage the child, let him face some difficult problems alone, the child requires independence, this is a good thing, we parents should give him encouragement in a timely manner, give opportunities, face the child's bad problems, if the child can not be corrected under the parents' education, then, let them face alone, think deeply about the results of the behavior, in this regard, I want to promote Ma Yun's method. His child became obsessed with online games at the age of twelve, so he gave him 200 yuan to go out and play games as much as he wanted, and when the money was spent, he came back, but came back to answer a question.
Where is the game good, three days later, the child came back, hungry and tired and sleepy, asked him where the harvest was, he replied, there is no gain, and can not see where the game is good, Ma Yun said, such a tired and hungry and sleepy thing, has not yet harvested, can not see where the good is, do you still play? The child had an epiphany, and really slowly quit playing under the supervision of his parents. Children of this age, the mind is active, we can no longer take the way we treated them as children, yelling and trying to calm them, we must tell or let themselves know the consequences of bad behavior. If our experience children do not like to listen, do not adopt, in time to let them touch the wall once.
Give more logistical support and care, adolescent children are also very confused, energetic, want to do a big thing, want to have their own status, but do not know where to start, how to do, ability is not enough, if you encounter the daily teacher's blow, parents' nagging, it will be easy to stimulate his adrenaline, mobilize the whole body energy and the world confrontation, at this time, parents may wish to be soft, and the child to be friends, stand in his point of view to think about the problem, not too much requirements as far as possible to meet, into the child's inner world.